An Undelivered Poem

These words are for you, as all of them are...

An Undelivered Poem

A Poem by Colton Warr

I feel unsettled and missing

Like a nomad traveling through an unknown land

Nettled and Reminiscing 

I once knew every small texture of your hand

I feel confused and paranoid

Like a man who had just committed murder

Fused and Destroyed 

My mind does everything to preserve her 

I feel soulless and guilty

Like the Grim Reaper who comes to take 

Boneless and Filthy 

I am broken in ways I did not know I could break 

I feel stressed and disturbed 

Like a student before the final exam

Oppressed and Perturbed 

I think I have given you all that I am

*****

Could I ask?

Do you sometimes feel as if you’re going through the motions?

Drink from my flask

I beg to again be lost within your ocean

Could I touch?

Do you sometimes reach out for my face with your hand?

Your hearts clutch

Shackle me in, never again to disband 

Could I kiss?

Do you sometimes still gaze into nothing, wishing it was me?

I guess I miss,

Whenever you were the only thing I would ever see

Reviews

[Coyote Poetry]

Amazing poetry my friend. You brought me in and held me to the last words.
"Could I touch?
Do you sometimes reach out for my face with your hand?
Your hearts clutch
Shackle me in, never again to disband
Could I kiss?"
The above lines are amazing. I could write a complete poem from these words and emotion. Thank you for sharing the outstanding poetry.
Coyote

[Colton Warr]

Thank you so much, Coyote! I'm happy you enjoyed this poem! Your words are always so kind and encouraging, I deeply appreciate that! The emotion was strong in this one for me and these words cut deep. If you remember my poem "She is..." This is about the same girl, we are no longer together and it is from my doing. Even after all that she is still my muse though, isn't that interesting? Thanks for stopping by and giving this a read, my friend!

[Coyote Poetry]

We don't forget and you are welcome.

[Paramount]

I absolutely loved every line of it. I do not know what else to say. It was just amazing. This is an incredible piece of poetry. Well done.

[Colton Warr]

Thank you very much! I appreciate the kind words! I'm happy you enjoyed this piece! Thanks for giving it a read!

[TinaM201549]

Great writing...love it. oh to have loved and loss. Shackle me in, never again to disband...great line

[Colton Warr]

Thank you so very much, Tina! I'm glad you enjoyed that line and this piece! Thank you so much for giving this one a read!

[Christopher Robin]

The cadence is off, but perfect meter does not make a perfect poem.

Thank you for a sorely needed reminder that there are people inhabiting this smorgasbord of self-gratification who actually know how to write poetry. You are an exemplary example to us all.

Extremely well penned.

- Christopher Robin

[Colton Warr]

Thank you very much, Christopher! I am so happy you said that first line. Perfect meter doesn't make a perfect poem. I long for the day more writers arrive at that. I've read poems with perfect meter and because of that the poem loses its heart and soul. We must find a balance, as writers. This review literally made my day, Christopher! I appreciate your kind words and positivity! I'm glad you enjoyed this piece. Thank for giving it a read! I look forward to checking out some of your work!

[GreenShoes]

Aw, so sad. I particularly love the line, "I am broken in ways I did not know I could break." I like your description for this poem, as well.

[Colton Warr]

Thank you very much, Karen! I'm so glad you enjoyed this piece! I appreciate your kind review! Thanks for taking the time out to read this!

[Ben Noah Suri]

The pain and the longing add beauty to this poem though nettled and reminiscing was indeed rather different from the flow. The fifth and last stanza being different added to the poem and the experience

[Colton Warr]

Thank you very much, Suri! I'm glad you could feel the longing and pain within these words. I appreciate your kind words, my friend! Thanks for stopping by and checking this one out!

[africa]

I like this. It's very cute and well written.

[Colton Warr]

Thank you so much, my friend! I'm glad you enjoyed this piece! Thanks for giving it a read!

[SLOVA]

Taking a hiatus from Writer's Cafe and coming back to find this written by you is like a breath of fresh air. I have a deep respect for poetry with such clever structure and wording. I adore your writing style. I love the change in rhythm and structure in the last stanza. Wonderful work, as always.

SLOVA

[Colton Warr]

Thank you so very much, my friend! Your words are too kind and I am endlessly grateful for them! I'm happy you enjoyed these words! I'm glad this could be a breath of fresh air for you, I am honored that you would say that. Thank you so much for giving this piece a read!

[EileenM]

I can feel the ache and longing, but at times the language feels stilted and awkward. The use of the word "nettled" at the beginning,
"Like a nomad traveling through an unknown land
Nettled and Reminiscing"
is archaic given the tone of the rest of the poem.

The pain and regret come through, heart-breakingly so. It's clear what misery you're feeling, but sometimes I can't get past the structure to fully capture and feel all the emotion you've put into and have expressed.

[Colton Warr]

I'm glad you could feel the longing and the ache within these words. I appreciate what you have to say about the structure and word use. I'm sorry that you could not fully experience the emotion here. Thank you for taking the time out and reading this piece!

[Cherry Pepperweb]

A painful poem about a love that has reached its end.

[Colton Warr]

You hit it right on the head here, Cherry! I'm happy you could feel the pain within this piece. Thank you so much for stopping by and giving this one a read!

[Cherry Pepperweb]

You're welcome!

[MJ]

This is so beautiful! Just wow.

[Colton Warr]

Thank you so much, MJ! I appreciate the kind words! Thanks for giving this a read!