PROLOGUE

She listened to the remains of the song ending and looked at the monitor screen. Guilt filled her but boredom and curiosity raged in like a tantrum that refused to be appeased.
 
  TalkDirty.com.
 
  Genius.
 
  Can't people come up with better website names? But she swore at herself. What was she expecting? She was at a bloody sex chat room. It made her feel embarassed that she would be there looking for something that contradicts the place she was at. She wanted to be at a place nobody knew who she was, what she was and stereotyping her to the thing she knew she could never do. It was scary for her, but for the most part, it was just liberating in a way. She could see where slapping girls' a*s was just masochism over-exerted and chauvinisim needing a place to release itself in the topping feminisme world. And she was glad that she didn't like these things. That she wasn't as vulgar as she thought she was. Maybe cause she was too adult for her age. It didn't faze her.
 
  Avery: Loneliness is when you realize you're doing something to have people look your way
 
  She typed in the chatroom main room and watched all the obscene comments drown hers.
 
  RedRod: Philosophical words in a sxcht room?
  Bangin93: Hi Avery!
 
  She stared at the PMs that popped like mushrooms after the rain. Yeah, that sure got the people's attention. They are always looking for something new and refreshing. Not being sexually aggravated in a room pumped with restless hormones sure made them turn their heads. Not for long. She was going to indulge into some craziness that young teenagers won't understand. She buzzed through the PMs, typing hello to each of the anonymous lonely people. She had recounted that everyone there, on a Friday night are lonely losers. She can relate that they are either like her or plain couch potatoes. She won't expect much from these people. She just wanted an online place to rant.
 
  AsianCrash: Hey Malaysian!
 
  She froze at the PM. Oh. Fellow Malaysian. Usually, she'd stay away from these local familiars. What she was doing won't be accepted. She wasn't this kind of girl. But people won't understand. When you're in a brothel, people won't ask to know why you're there. They just assume you're selling your body as well. But...she replied anyway, cursing her luck for not changing her location in her faceless profile.
 
  Avery: Hi
 
  AsianCrash: Whr r u frm?
 
  Boring. Boring. Boring. Why ask where her location was? Pfft. That's just geography. And her telling him that? Ain't gonna happen. She opened another tab and searched for something to watch on YouTube. She could go on forever online and find nothing to do. It's like an addiction to surf the Internet. But you find that there's not much that you're getting out of it. Now, she was spending less and lesser time online. It was a sudden realization that she had a boring life. She had spent perhaps years in front of the dumb screen that way before she realized that truth. What made her had this melancholy? Oh, nothing. Just the mundane routine of her life. Wake up. Go to work. Come back from work. Yada Yada. Blah.
 
  What is life if this is just it?
 
  Her non-existent professional career beckoned from the Mozilla new tab she just opened. But she couldn't bring herself to open her blog and see the emptiness.
 
  You're not taking any risks.
 
  What?
 
  Risks.
 
  Idiot. She took them every single day. Just not big ones yet. She didn't want to remember. 
 
  She contemplated her boredom. Her head spun her logic and for once, she wanted to be at the edge of truths. See how far this was going to get her.
 
  Avery: KL
 
  She waited.
 
  AsianCrash: Oh, cool.
                          Age?
             
  Avery: 24. U?
 
  AsianCrash: 21
 
  She scoffed. A kid. This is going to be fun.
 
  Avery: Heya kid. What u doing here n nt out wit ur frens?
 
  There was silence. She'd figure that the kid was finally offended and leave her alone. But after a few minutes, he replied.
 
  AsianCrash: Sorry. I thnk TD crashed. U got YM?
 
  She unconsciously nodded, agreeing to the site that kept crashing. She hurriedly signed into her fake Yahoo account messenger.
 
  Avery: [email protected]
 
  She closed the site immediately and waited. True to his words, he added her and she saw the name there.
 
  Connor Gordon.

Author's Note

Do tell me what you guys think!!

Reviews

[June Summers]

You did a good job on alternating the prose with the chat lines, it worked really well! :)

Still, I think there are some things that could be improved, like your opening line:
"She listened to the remains of the song ending and looked at the monitor screen."

The use of "and" sounds like one action follows the other, while I think you meant for them to be simultaneous. Also, "remains of the song" and "the song ending" are two ways of saying the same thing.

Consider:
"She listened to the song ending, looking at the monitor screen."

Or with different words:
"Listening to the final notes of the song, she looked/gazed/stared at the monitor screen."

Another sentence that could use improvement is:
"It made her feel embarassed that she would be there looking for something that contradicts the place she was at."

The overly complex structure of the sentence obfuscates the meaning. It would work better if it were simplified. Consider breaking it up:
"She felt embarrassed to be there. Her real objective contradicted the content/nature/subject of the site." (Please ignore if that's not what you meant, LOL!)

I'm also not sure about "the Mozilla new tab she just opened." It makes "Mozilla new tab" sound like a noun. Perhaps it works better as "the new tab she just opened in Mozilla."

Having said that, the ending is good and definitely invites one to continue reading. :)