Oubliette for Colette

alone with my thoughts

i’ve been returned to the cellar, the darkness

where the absence of the sun reminds me

of the previous one

who deposited me in an empty playground

 

the tears, a never-ending surplus

the tale, where a little girl grows up

goes down

and can’t see heaven any longer

 

pain is the precursor to change

that’s the good part

 

my life, cancerous gloom

all i lived for was love

all i can never have is just that

 

cursed like a vampire

to dwell in isolated misery

trapped like the prey that i am

to be merely consumed by the hunter

 

at a time when most families have dinner

my lover leaves to start his new old job of life

again

 

the unsettling exit, bound to happen

i have no energy to propose a rebuttal

and request a stay

 

i raced for a cure

9,000 deep, 10 million high

to ward off premature goodbyes

 

i’ve given my energy, money, time and love

but i couldn’t keep my mother alive

 

a postman, afraid of bees

me, i’m better able to handle purgatory with ease

now that i’ve moved up from my ghetto woes

 

even on a most peculiar day

blue, melancholy, pensive

i glow

 

another day, another drunk, another drama

 

some trade prime rib for spam

strawberry for jam

 

Here I Am.

Reviews

[Onyx_Rayne]

"i raced for a cure
9,000 deep, 10 million high
to ward off premature goodbyes" - goodbyes are never easy and... the "big" goodbyes, we never forget, it's so hard to let go.

This was filled with such emotion... so very much. It touched my heart even made me tear up. (I've lost people-family) ... such a beautiful write. I, literally, sit in awe and I feel almost insignificant. Now that's what the write made me feel....

As for the actual "mechanics" of the write... I say it's perfect. The word choices are unique and creative. The stanzas flow into one another like syrup over a waffle and.. personally, when I read poetry...I don't usually comment on capitalization...punctuation... etc... unless it's not uniform throughout the piece. This one had uniform punctuation and capitalization...and I feel like the lack of those elements only adds to the "feel" of the write.

Bravo! Absolutely magnificent :)

[GoldnBold]

Loved it...love it...passion, hurt, pain and concerns all rapped up into a sea of words...depth and soul on a page

[Ed Hart]

pain can be the precursor for change, depending if you can carry it or ask someone else to carry it for you...the only way to tell is to see what happens next...i like your way with words

[Robin]

this one has always has left me in awe, got to love songs from the heart ...