I'm Not There

Colon cleansing for the soul--leaving the bullshit behind!

 

Silence

experience shows

is what frightens people most

 

 

What does she know?

What is she thinking?

Who is she talking to?

Why isn’t it me?

 

And you call yourself my friend

You call yourself my friend?

 

I’ve ridiculed soap operas

when a character hears, knows, sees

mischief

and conceals the evidence

 

Why?

To protect the guilty?

To avoid conflict?

To prevent additional heartache

when the guilty points fingers at the innocent?

 

Or, to save the ammo to blast in retaliation?

 

Or, to lay it down in a poem?

Become Bob Dylan’s personification

and tell YOU

I’m not there anymore

 

I’m climbing out of the toxic waste

I’m going to take in fresh oxygen

leave you in the mystery

which is my shadow

 

Chew on your regrets

Or, be the ostrich in the desert

The giraffe with no tree

Leave yourself in the crowded room of conformity

 

Leave your secret buried

under your black trench coat of betrayal

Your exaggerations of my life stories told

to camouflage your dark reality, but

 

I have known all along

I’ve known all along

 

What’s that tell you of my strength?

My ability to forgive?

My unselfish friendship?

Your greed?

 

When my soul is alive and vivid

as my body suffers and decays

You all look away

 

I frighten you with my strength

don’t I?

 

Your weakness is exposed

and at times

Ugly

 

I would rather die as I have lived

ALONE

than to believe I have friends

and those friends be unwilling to face my illness

or my soul, in the crucial hour

 

I have already lived that nightmare

twice

 

Go ahead

Fabricate

Dislocate

Disengage

 

Insult me further

 

I’ve already forgiven

 

I simply choose to float

 

I’m not there

I’m in a train car

with Bob Dylan

and he’s singing his melody

 

 

She’s got everything she needs. She’s an artist. She don’t look back.

Reviews

[Everett DeValle]

Beautiful Colette, miss you. ~Ev

[Colette]

This has very little to do with the movie of the same title...except that I make reference to Bob Dylan.

[Julian]

I shall read this again when i have seen the movie..but without seeing the movie, obviously i can see what you are getting at here. I am not gonna call this a "vent"...gonna be really clever (haha) and say this is some good exfoliating!