For My Muse

terza rima; a nightly scribble

My muse, she speaks with words of gentle fire, 

and touches with the grace of falling rain 

to lift the thrashing winds of my desire. 

 

Her lips are silk adorned, a blackened stain 

of ravens twined within her sultry gaze 

and daisies broken through her scented pain. 

 

She sleeps above the waxing moon; its rays, 

they dim beneath the spectrum of her light 

as though her palms engulfed a fiery blaze. 

 

Her sighs elicit music in the night 

that drown each tear 'mid honey-misted eyes 

and lower stars to greet her crimson sight. 

 

She is a love of thorns, from which arise 

a gentle mist of roses scarred in gray 

and melancholic thunders in bleak cries. 

 

Her silver heart's a shadowed light―the way 

which pain uplifts a mother's gift of worth

or showers nurture seeds to sprout in May.

My love for her's a silver cloud whose birth

could silence clashing waves upon the Earth.

Author's Note

This probably makes no sense outside of my own mind, but hopefully the words can still be felt.
Please leave an honest review. Constructive criticism is welcomed and encouraged.

Reviews

[Carol Cashes]

"She is a love of thorns, from which arise
a gentle mist of roses scarred in gray
and melancholic thunders in bleak cries. "

This is a very Poe-ish, also one of my favorites, and, according to my grandfather who paid a great deal of money in the '90's for a family tree, a distant relative of mine. My personal favorite of his is a short story called The Predicament. But, when my mind was more still than it is now, I could read his poems and absorb, comprehend. I liked the dark tone of this and, while my opinion is hardly a credible one, I think this is quite the read!

[William Liston]

Your opinion is certainly a credible one, Carol, and is much appreciated.
Thank you for your kind words : )

[lightsong]

Like the wedding vows, in sickness and health, in pain and happiness, in darkness and light, gentle and rough, in all the contradictions, I'm always here for You, bonded with You, inside You, Your beautiful poem showed that special connection, when You like it, even need and want it, that dark touch of Your muse upon You, enchanting and alluring You, dreamy whispers come alive into papers, wonderful piece William, one that makes all the sense :)

[William Liston]

As always, it's a distinct pleasure reading your reviews. Your insightful, kind, and brilliantly poetic words always make me smile : )
Thank you!

[Relic]

I see this as sot of a summation of all that you have written, read, and learned from. All the nuances, the storms and the serene settings that are found in writing. That's my take.

Always a pleasure William.

[William Liston]

That's an interesting observation Relic. I can see why you'd say that ...
Thank you for reading and reviewing. It's greatly appreciated.

[Linda Marie Van Tassell]

Your word choices are dark and beautiful, with just a hint of silver. My only critique is to the form. The Terza Rima consists of tercets, with the second line of each tercet setting the rhyme scheme for the following tercet. The only time the form changes is at the end, where a single line that rhymes with the second line of the final tercet stands alone:

x
y
x

y
z
y

z

[William Liston]

Thank you for your kind words and review.

To repeat my reply to emipoemi:

read moreThank you for your kind words and review.

To repeat my reply to emipoemi:

I looked up the terza rima again and the site I researched the form on said "Thus, the rhyme scheme (aba, bcb, cdc, ded) continues through to the final stanza or line" hence the reason I didn't end on a couplet or single line. On every other website I looked on though, they said to end with a couplet, so I added two more lines ... I'll probablly change them tomorrow.

Thanks again for the advice.

[William Liston]

Since the "read more" doesn't work:

I looked up the terza rima again and the site I researched the form on said "Thus, the rhyme scheme (aba, bcb, cdc, ded) continues through to the final stanza or line" hence the reason I didn't end on a couplet or single line. On every other website I looked on though, they said to end with a couplet, so I added two more lines ... I'll probablly change them tomorrow.

[William Liston]

It can also end on a single line too, and is typically done in poems such as mine where there are more (or less) than fourteen lines total.

[emipoemi]

Ñop, this makes perfect poetic sense. A good maze to wander through and trying to piece everything together. Wondrous! Great imagery, great musicality, great everything! Tersa rima, just because I feel like saying it, normally end on a couplet to specify that there won't be any more stanzas since there's no B line to elicit another stanza.....but that's simply me being formulaic. This is fantastic! Well done!

[William Liston]

Ok so ....
Now that my internet's suddenly sped up ...
I looked up the terza rima again and the site I researched the form on said "Thus, the rhyme scheme (aba, bcb, cdc, ded) continues through to the final stanza or line" hence the reason I didn't end on a couplet or single line. On every other website I looked on though, they said to end with a couplet, so I added two more lines ... I'll probablly change them tomorrow.

[William Liston]

Thanks again.

[emipoemi]

The point of my comment was that you didn't have to!! It was just me being formulaic....but what the websites might have informed by possible lack of study was that Dante's Terza Rima (which dates back to the 14 century, ends in a single line that rhymes with the B line....and the couplet may have come later.

[William Liston]

I understood what you meant, but I wanted this to be true-to-form, so I took that as something to be corrected. I'll let this version resonate, and I may change it back.

And yes, from what I've read, the couplet did come later.