Starlight Dancing

Villanelle

  

    Starlight Dancing

At night, when raging waves of day turn dead, 

my darling rests her head upon my chest ... 

she sleeps with starlight dancing in her head. 

 

When luminous moonlight shines, it is said 

that such a glow can bring one's soul to rest, 

at night, when raging waves of day turn dead. 

 

Rough winds, they wake my daughter from her bed 

to doze in comfort 'pon her mother's breasts ... 

she sleeps with starlight dancing in her head. 

 

My mind dwells not in dreams of sleep, instead 

it calmly ponders 'pon each thought repressed 

at night, when raging waves of day turn dead. 

 

My heart relieved from carrying life's lead 

as Lady Luna lies upon her crest ... 

she sleeps with starlight dancing in her head. 

 

I see the glist'ning stars, their bright light shed, 

all while my daughter snuggles in her nest. 

At night, when raging waves of day turn dead, 

she sleeps with starlight dancing in her head.

Author's Note

The Villanelle is undoubtedly one of the most highly structured and complex forms of traditional poetry. When written well, the repetition fits the natural flow of ideas. Did it do so in this piece? Please leave an honest review. Constructive criticism is welcomed and encouraged.

This was inspired by the poem "My Darling Turns to Poetry at Night" by Anthony Lawrence. It's the most beautiful Villanelle I've ever read: https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poetrymagazine/poems/detail/89008

Reviews

[TerryDarcy-Ryan akaSh..]

Mr. Liston, this piece read itself to me the words soft and comforting. Peaceful rhythm joined the narrater moving with perfect ques. It ended to soon, I enjoyed this brief moment of peace and the belief that all was right in the world. Beautiful, Poetry. Thank you

Sheer Terror

[William Liston]

Thank you for your kind words.
I'm glad you enjoyed.

[Black Jess]

I think You just wrote a wonderful Villanelle because honestly the repetition of " At night, when raging waves of day turn dead " and " she sleeps with starlight dancing in her head " fits perfectly with the meaning.
when I was reading your piece ,a feeling of comfort and beauty ovewhelmed me , yes , I felt Beauty inside and I don't know how , I guess your words and your style amazed me *-*
This is outstanding, truly !

[William Liston]

Thank you for your heart-touching, encouraging words, Jess. I'm deeply honored to know this piece could affect you in such a way.

[Black Jess]

you're very welcome ^^

[Fahmida Mehreen]

I personally am not well informed about Villanelle as a form of poetry. But, keeping my focus on the writing as a whole and the idea that is put, I am totally delighted by it. The words have done justice to the idea.

Good one from what I see. :)

[William Liston]

I'm glad you enjoyed. Your words are greatly appreciated.

[J. J. Nightingale]

Nice..soft-sweetly flows............
Stars seem so close
As if we can touch our dreams
In the night.



Jazzy

[William Liston]

Eloquently stated ...
Thank you for reviewing.

[J. J. Nightingale]

You are welcome Sir..... ..Jazzy

[Thomas Fitzgerald]

A dancing piece that hides and glides it's meaning for a fun run of colour and excitement, well done, good read.

[William Liston]

Thank you. Glad you enjoyed.

[Giulia King]

Oh my god, this is so beautiful! Easily my favorite poem today!

[William Liston]

I know how much you love stars, Gullia ; )
Thank you for your kind words.
Glad you enjoyed.

[Giulia King]

Oh, you know me well lol. Loved reading this piece :)

[Susan 🦋]

well look at this!!! One of my favorite forms!!..just loving this well written, beautifully expressed, wonderfully delightful imagery and just a feel good Villanelle!!! I see it all in my mind's eye!..."lady Luna"....ahhhhh lovely! write more please :-)

[William Liston]

Hello Susan : )
Thank you for your kind words on this piece.
I'm glad you enjoyed.read moreHello Susan : )
Thank you for your kind words on this piece.
I'm glad you enjoyed.

[Susan 🦋]

I loved it! and i don't say that much!..or review much here...but this caught my attention!

[Tazeen Ahmed]

I can see the transitions your poetry is going through. You wrote a Villanelle, i suppose it's undoubtedly a very riveting read. All over, it's well structured!
Unique and Original!
kudos!

[William Liston]

Thank you for your kind words, Tazeen.
I'm glad you enjoyed.

[MysteriousAries]

My first poem to read here at writerscafe... And wow, it's a beauty...

[William Liston]

Thank you so much!
Welcome to writerscafe!

[Cara]

Amazingly written thank you for sharing

[William Liston]

Glad you enjoyed.