My muse is ...

a scribble in free verse

 

My muse is

the faint shadow

between a lonely sigh

and a falling tear

She's the night sky

without its stars,

the beauty in simplicity,

and the seconds 

barely lived 

before a waking dream

She's that moment

before emotions 

reach their palms,

the infinite specks of black

within a 

raven's feather

She's soft but haunting,

as her words,

crackling like shattered glass

beneath a falling sky,

whisper daisies in my ear

I love her more

than I love the sound

of a soft shower

misting grass

in vaporous breaths ~

more than I love the feel

of a woman's 

soft hips and 

smooth thighs

No,

my muse is not

the rose in fresh spring

or a soft blade of grass

in its dark green,

but she is

the radiant mystery

of a flickering candle ~

the sparkling glint in a flaw

like an infant

with one red freckle

Author's Note

This probably makes no sense outside of my own mind, but I'd love to hear your thoughts on this piece. Please leave an honest review. Constructive criticism is welcomed and encouraged.

Reviews

[lightsong]

I always say that when You write, it's not necessarily that all will understand You, but at the same time they should show respect to Your words. ( to the words in Your note).
As much as this poem is deeply personal, as much as I know that anyone who will come to read will relate and find him/her self within Your gentle words, You glow so brightly here, so elegantly, expressing Your true inner self with all its concepts in such a breathtaking way, it's not about Your muse, but also about You, behind these lines You stand with all Your characters, one persona through the tides, and just faithfully love her as she is, no more or less, because then it will slip from the enchanting ethereal luring perfection You dwell her in, she is a full of contradictions, but these contradictions what inspire You, because life is that way too, she can be heaven... but You wouldn't mind to taste a little bit of her hell too.
Your talent is Your ability to paint emotions with such a purely affective way, really powerful, You are a spiritual person.
My favorite poem of You till now, just perfectly gorgeous, sheer brilliancy!

[William Liston]

Light, I think you've explained this poem better than I ever could.
Thank you so much for your kind, eloquent words.

[Norbanus]

Breath bated in suspense, we read and wait
for all the bits to fall into their place.
The story of the muse upon the slate
But nothing comes along to change the pace.

You’ve shown us step by step the heavy sigh
The life-blood being sapped without a hope.
Your muse has stirred our souls and we see why,
We feel this free-verse message (how to cope).

[DarkArtz 0703]

awwww this is a sweet piece of work William and I understand in a way but overall I think this is beautiful

[William Liston]

Thank you for your kind words. It's truly gratifying to know that you've enjoyed this piece and could describe it as "beautiful."
Your visit is greatly appreciated : )

[DarkArtz 0703]

it's a pleasure

[Carol Cashes]

You've defined the undefinable - that which exists in between.

Between here...and there. Between now...and then. Between.

Well done, and a pleasure to read.

[William Liston]

Hello Carol : )
Thank you for your kind words and for your analysis ... I'm glad this piece could affect you in such a way.

[J. J. Nightingale]

"She's soft but haunting, as her words, crackling like shattered glass beneath a falling sky,..daisies in my ear"..............WOW..

Great expressions of unconditional Love........


Jazzy...

[William Liston]

Thank you so much!!

[J. J. Nightingale]

You are welcome........... and the Image perfectly fits your poem !!! .........
Jazzy

[William Liston]

I'm sooo glad you thought so ... it took me a while to find.

[J. J. Nightingale]

:).........................................

[Linda Marie Van Tassell]

The greatest inspiration is love or hate, happiness and sorrow. While it's easy to get swept by the waves of love and happiness, it takes deliberate effort to find the beauty in hate and sorrow. I continuously strive to do this, to capture that muse that hides in shadow. Her face is more beautiful at night, her words more easily heard. Beautiful!

[William Liston]

Thank you so much, Linda.

[Annette Pisano-Higley]

So honest and tender. Exquisite ode to a muse who is magnificent even in her human imperfections. Eloquent words and vivid imagery-"the faint shadow between a lonely sigh and a falling tear...the night sky without stars". Beautiful.

[William Liston]

Thank you so much, Annette.

[Raven Moonchild]

(applauds) I love the mystery. I must admit,I simply love your amazing poetry. You have a brilliant,thoughtful,and creative mind my good sir. :)

[William Liston]

Thank you for your lovely compliments, Raven. I truly appreciate them : )

[Raven Moonchild]

And thank you for sharing your wonderful mind. :)

[Relic]

I think if you really examine this you'll find that there is indeed a deep meaning behind the thoughts. I can feel them, I just don't know how to put it in words.

[William Liston]

For as long as you feel them, that's what matters.
Thank you for your kind words.

[emmajoy]

' but she is ~ the radiant mystery ~ of a flickering candle ― the sparkling glint in a flaw ~ like an infant ~ with one red freckle.. '

For me, apart from the gloriously laid words, I feel this is saying that you might not be a prized example of perfection, but TO ME you are utterly perfect because, I love you, I love you, I love you! Perhaps ?

[William Liston]

I am soooo glad that you perceive the poem like that, Emma.
Sometime last year, I read through many of my love poems and realized that they all focused on physical beauty. They all had the everyday cliches like "your eyes shine brighter than the sun" or something like that. There's nothing wrong with that, of course, being that physical beauty is a thing, and poetry should allow one to express any and everything, but I didn't like how all my love poems fell into one category.
Since then, I always wanted to write a poem like this, where the muse didn't fit the typical standards of beauty but was nevertheless, beautiful. I'm so happy that you saw this piece the way you did.
Thanks again for your review.