The Blue Roses

a short, unmetered piece with a simple rhyme scheme

Oh what a joy ~

red roses in bloom.

You hope and pray

they never see doom,

but every blue rose ...

'tis them you despise;

though watered with hate,

they continue to rise.

Author's Note

Constructive criticism is welcome. Please be honest in your reviews. I'd like to know how this piece impacted you (if it did so at all). Thank you for reading.

Reviews

[Dr. YumnaKay]

It's probably the feeling of being unwanted one feels when they see themselves as being uncared of while seeing the exact opposite treatment with others. I think you explained that very well by the example of red and blue roses..
This piece really made me think.
Well penned, William :)

[William Liston]

I'm glad I could make you think. Thank you for reviewing.

[Dr. YumnaKay]

You're welcome. Always a pleasure reading your works :)

[Kathy Van Kurin]

"The Blue Roses"
William Liston<
The red of life giving blood, healthy and flowing and the blue of it's color within our bodies.
Outward we extend our usefulness and inward we hold our efforts to share, give and love.
Humanity is a complex mass of process all in all. We on this planet share our good, bad, ugly and everything in-between.
The red rose and the blue rose gives us opportunity to ponder, think and ask the question: Are we extending our life's fragrance or not?
Beautiful poem!
Blessings,
Kathy

[richieb]

Well done William, the blue rose looks beautiful but pleasing to the eye doesn't always translate to pleasing to the heart. Your poem flows well and causes the reader to pause and meditate. As always nice work.
Blessings,
Richie b.

[Dysphoria]

I'm not good at giving criticism but I do know I found nothing to criticize. It flows nicely and is short yet beautiful. Sometimes I think the small simple poem are my favourite.

[William Liston]

Thank you. Short and simple can be best at times.
Thank you for reading.

[Dysphoria]

You're welcome!

[Taz]

I love the rhyme scheme of this poem, yet another well done piece.

[William Liston]

Thank you.

[Taz]

You are welcome.

[B]

Its amazing how much you find in a rose
it never withers until torn
or yanked out of its soil

left alone
it is the epitome of love and life

[William Liston]

Thank you for reading and reviewing.

[Fahmida Mehreen]

This somewhat portrays the beautiful facade that we live in. Nicely put.

[William Liston]

Thank you!

[Bala Gorthi]

That is how we are. We all always want something beautiful and pleasant to stay and continue. The things that we detest still exist and grow.
I liked your words "though watered with hate" because in hate we keep the dislike with something as an attachment to it and it grows and continues in our heart though as hatred. But the fact is , it stays and grows . It never leaves us.
I love the way you brought out this irony. I liked the objects that you have used and the brevity with which you said such a deep thing. Beautiful!
Well done.

[William Liston]

Thank you for your kind words. I'm glad you enjoyed.

[FIN]

The juxtaposition of colors to represent opposing forces and express differing emotions was done well, Mr. Liston...

Red being joy/fulfillments.
Blue being defeat/depressors.
Or the other way around.

"As I've read into it."

Minor Critique for Flow:

Change the word "hate" to "hatred."

Reason: Adding the extra consonants "r" and "d" unto the word "hate" further strengthens its connection phonetically with other prior words, such as "watered" and "despise" and all other "d" and "r" consonants that are layered throughout.

Nice, concise and vivid poem.

Much love,

LR

P.S.
On how this affected me: I got the feeling of the blue rose being the outcast, the downtrodden, the abused, the peasant; the looked down upon... and despite that fact, they always rise, even through such adversity... Typically the hero, the justifier, the truth sayer and protector of the weak... along those lines.

[William Liston]

You interpreted this piece exactly as I wanted : )
Thank you for your kind words. I'm glad you enjoyed.

As for your critique, I'll keep it as "hate" for now because "hatred" (to me) disrupts the overall flow, but I thank you for pointing that out.

[Darian B.]

I think that sometimes it is the hate of others that allows us to rise. We use it as our driving force, we create something to prove. I am a huge fan of the "underdog" concept, the idea that somebody with nobody behind him (or her) and nothing to his name can rise up to greatness. I feel that I, to an extent, embody the underdog. Nearly all of my greatest accomplishments came because somebody doubted me and I chose to rise above the doubt. I love this piece and personally, I prefer blue roses to red ones. They are much more pretty and way less cliche

[William Liston]

I too like the "underdog" concept. Thank you for your kind words, Darian. Glad you could relate : )