When I Speak of Pain

The title describes it

My heart is torn ...

An art is born ...

The black ink boiling in my pen

shall speak of times

when weakened minds

endure the pains of life again.

Oh hear the mourn

~ each burden worn

ignites a flare within my soul.

My vision's blurred ...

each tear obscured 

the happiness of life in whole.

Evoked from pain

and joys that wane,

desires scream a cry unheard

to give this tale,

so those in hell

can see a tear behind each word.

Author's Note

I hope you enjoy. Please leave an honest review. Constructive criticism is always welcomed.

Reviews

[Manu]

Outstanding piece ! There is life in this write and one is forced( positively) to feel the emotions behind. When I speak of pain-. A very apt title to this piece. I also find a sublime link of your poem -pain and pen in this write.
Wanting to be heard, a desire to let out those painful emotions and what not. When in pain, everything seems dim and lifeless, and tears become reality of our existence. Wonderful write and all the three stanzas are equally emoting.

[William Liston]

You're right. This poem and "Pain and a Pen" are very similar, both structurally and thematically. I do, however, put "Pain and a Pen" above this piece because the imagery is more vivid.
Anyways, I'm glad you enjoyed this poem and were able to grasp the message and emotion behind its words. It truly makes me happy. Thanks again for your kind words.

[Manu]

My pleasure :-)

[Kathy Van Kurin]

"When I speak of Pain"
William Liston,
Pain is the commonality of all humanity and where we find understanding and a place to understand others. This poem was very good!
Blessings,
Kathy

[FIN]

This is fantastic. Every line, stanza, vernacular, syntax, and emotional integrity makes this a wonderful piece.

I can definitely see why you've chosen this as your highlight.

Wonderful job; no qualms with anything.

Beautifully composed lines, after beautifully composed lines; beautifully composed stanza after beautifully composed stanza.

The imagery was wild and vivid within my mind, especially "the black in boiling within my pen" as I have a fountain pen that one can actually see the ink.

Just wow,

A great peice and nice, heavy typography to match.

Much love,

LR

[William Liston]

Thank you for your kind words. Now that I think of it, the "black ink boiling" line is kinda ironic for me ... I usually use a pencil when I write. Nevertheless, the pen can symbolize any writing (or typing) utensil ... it's probably the most powerful symbol for writing.

Thanks again for your kind words.

[KTizzle]

The second stanza was a little less impactful for me. Here's why I think so, I thought this line was a bit cliche, "awakens from my battered soul." This seemed a little vague, but maybe it was meant to be that way, "the happiness of life in whole" I say this because the poem spends the majority talking about pain and the writer, so happiness at the last line felt kinda thrown in there. I guess I would like to hear more about the joy that comes through that pain because of creation or release.

But other wise, definitely had great flow to it. I loved reading the rhythm of the lines. Favorite line, "The black ink boiling in my pen" because boiling makes me think of fire and heat. Fire and heat also makes me think of creation like the crafting of swords.

I also love the topic of poetry and what it does for the writer. Pain is an emotion that births truths of life.

Interesting write.

Thanks for sharing! Have a great day!

[William Liston]

Thank you for your constructive review, Jazz. You've given me some excellent pointers on this piece.

Regarding your first critique, how about this: ignites a flare within my soul

Regarding your second critique, I see your point, but I think the line still fits well, primarily because I'm talking about how tears obscure my happiness, which relates to the poem's sorrowful theme. I reinforce the idea with the line "and joys that wane" in the following stanza.

[KTizzle]

Ahh, okay I read that wrong. And I like the "ignites a flare within my soul." I think it makes the piece harmonize more.

And you're welcome!

[Shabeeh Haider]

Beautiful in rhyme and flow.
Shelly has said : "Our sweetest songs are those that tell of saddest thought"
Need I say more?

[William Liston]

You need not say more, Shabeeh. Shelly's quote sums it up well. Thank you for your review.

[Quinn W]

This is literally one of my favorites. I find it so therapeutic to write and edit. I've recently been reading over my first stories and poems and it has been nostalgic in some ways. There was once a time when my anxiety didn't effect me as much.

[William Liston]

It is therapeutic to write and edit. It's good to look back on older pieces and see how much we've grown. (By the way, I just finished editing this piece ... for now)

Thank you for leaving a review ... your words mean a lot to me.

[Beccy]

You have quite amazing vocabulary and power for one so young and this is an extremely accomplished poem.

Beccy.

PS. Dunbar is a favourite of mine, in particular I adore 'we wear the mask.'

[William Liston]

I'm glad we share similar poetic tastes. Thank you for your kind words.

[Tazeen Ahmed]

intensely conveyed !
the way you've described is flawless !!
keep writing :)

[William Liston]

Thank you so much.

[Sira YR]

This is truly a beautiful piece of literature. You are what they call a born writer. To me the poem is saying that your inspiration for writing comes from the pains that you have had to endure throughout their life and that their purpose is so that way others who may be in pain can find solace in your words. (That's what I got out of it.) Anyway, great job and I'm looking forward to reading and reviewing more of your works. :)

[William Liston]

Your interpretation was exactly what I was going for. Thank you for your kind words.

[Sira YR]

You're very welcome and thank you for sharing this.

[Rebecca Garber]

I really enjoyed this great job

[William Liston]

Thank you, Rebecca. I'm glad you enjoyed.

[Rebecca Garber]

No thank u for creating it