Lacuna 1

This is the most experimental piece I've ever done. This is only the beginning of many other poems with the title Lacuna.

Lacuna 1 

I can remember…

Oh dear god, why can't I remember.. 

It was the beach, we were on the beach.

I think there were waves crashing against the shoreline, 

The ocean spray sending tiny rainbows

Along our cold pale skin. 

Come on Cole, remember, just think..

The moon was out early that day, I'm pretty sure.. 

Yes, we could see it on the corner of the skyline, 

Bashful in front of the heavy clouds, 

And the clouds … The clouds…. they were laced… a black underbelly… 

I can't remember if it rained, 

I remember specks of water flying,

But that could of just been from the ocean. 

Yes....the ocean… it was so rough that day. 

You were afraid to let me go to far, 

I laughed at how much you worried. 

I still went over my head. 

I'm so sorry. 

If I knew that day was going to be our last day, 

Then I would of brought down the sky. 

Why can't I remember if it rained.. 

GOD DAMN IT…. 

Why can't I remember if it rained.. 

Rewind. 

Author's Note

Reviews

[Legolas]

Pretty good poem...except for the swearing...

[Samantha Lynn]

The first line say that you can remember but then the whole poem he cannot. Is that a typo???

other than that, I loved it!!!!

[Olivia Marie]

I love this as well, absolutely beautiful. And accurate. I have had many problems with my memory. I highly enjoyed this. :)

[Jordan A. Wilson]

I like the style of this, but I'll have to read it a few more times to get anything out of it. Good work though.

[Celestial Witch Child]

Wow- you continue to astound me more and more with your talent. Great piece. No suggestions- don't change a thing.

[♪The Girl Next Do..]

I love this. The feeling of wanting to retrace your steps....longing to go back to that time...excellent work.

[Coyote Poetry]

I like this poem. I like the feel of rewind and trying to find your place and thoughts. You did very well with the poem. I had to read a second time for the pleasure of the story. Thank you for the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[Shauna Jacqueline Ander..]

-Just gotta say ^Awesome film^

Line 4 does sound ok as it is, but my brains nagging me that was should be were?

Other than that nothing negative to say. Touching, and I love the 'Rewind' metaphore at the end..And the start;
'I can remember..
..Why can't I remember'
Loving your work. Keep them coming.

[Cole Hayley]

that does sound better. im going to change it now

[Shauna Jacqueline Anderson]

Glad to be of assistance =]

[Lily Mae]

This had me in tears.. I felt every word.. excellent write.. xo