Stardust (The Gloaming. The Pharmacy)

Stardust   (The Gloaming. The Pharmacy.)

A resting potential

Wrapped inside a batter blanket

As groggy as that all sounds

As tiresome as this has become. 

We were once catching stardust

On the edge of a plastic dream

And as we dissolved into the gloaming 

We unravelled at the seams. 

The middle of the night has reared its head. 

Why did we have to be the ones to get out of bed?

All we ever knew is fading.. 

Author's Note

Reviews

[Zachary_James]

This is truly amazing my friend, your use of words are just stunningly briliant.

[Owlgirl]

Wow! Great job! I love how the openness allows for thoughts and imagination. Excellent writing!

[Olivia Marie]

beautiful as always :) My favorite line is:
"On the edge of a plastic dream"
I absolutely LOVE that :D

[olla]

well done... I felt the vague drifting... like being in a fog.. your work has developed nicely..

[Adam, the Grub Street L..]

This one a bit too vague for me. I like my writing to be as solid and specific.

And what is gloaming? I vaguely recall a song about roaming in it.

[Cole Hayley]

The Gloaming is another word for Twilight, or dusk. The poem itself is about a couple drifting from eachother. "A resting potential" is a refrence to the neurons in our brains, when a neuron lays dormant without any stimulants to make it fire, it becoems a resting potential, I used that as a metaphor for how people sometime get stuck in the same routine, with any little thing being able to split them apart (the firing of the neuron). The first two lines of the second stanza talks about the good times those two people had together, while the lines dealing with fading into the twilight talks about them drifting farther apart. The lines "the middle of the night has reared its head/why did we have to be the ones to get out of bed?" repersents the narrators anger as to why did they have to be the ones to drift apart, he feels like he has been cheated from love. And then the end sums up the fears of losing everythign you kept close.

[Adam, the Grub Street Lodger]

Wow, and that'll be why I'll always prefer prose to poetry. I understood the paragraph, nice clear bit of communication.

That said, it is clear from the thought that has been put into the poem, that the failure in this case is on the part of the reader.

Wonder if the franchise been as successful if it had been called the Gloaming Saga?

[Adam, the Grub Street Lodger]

I meant to say 'this' reader.

[Shauna Jacqueline Ander..]

Firstly nice song, but music is sooo distracting when you're trying to concentrate reading something new.
Now, for the piece;
Some could perhaps argue that it's a little vague in places, But I think that adds a certain something to the emotion of this work...I particularlly love the last line. It reminds me of one I've used before.
Really liking your work. Keep posting and I'll keep reading =] Take care

[Sophie]

I love the second stanza. Such a wonderful image! This is truly beautiful.
But how the crap did you do that??? The Author's Note?

[Samantha Lynn]

I might be wrong but when I read this I think of a couple who have been together for a while but feel that they are difting apart. It reminds me of my last realtionship. It sucks, drifting relationships I mean. lol But I love this poem. It is very heart felt and says a lot. and i feel that can relate to it very well. And I love this song, by the way. haha :D Good Work!! Keep going!! :)

[Cole Hayley]

You are right, spot on actually

[Samantha Lynn]

Oh, really? cool :) lol