I see this as something of a play on social conventions and the many sayings we have, particularly for love.
Do you like her or like like her? Do you love her like THAT or that?
Everyone trying to put a description on how you feel and how you love 'her', but what do they know? Nothing. They're not you. You love her the way you love her, and that's that: and people may never understand because they enjoy their neat and geometrically aligned boxes to fit everything in. Something doesn't fit? They cut and cram and crush until it does... but unfortunately, it never will (or better yet, fortunately it never does).
This is a beautiful usage of words and layering heavy emotions and meanings with them. The way you described earth was unique and different, and that's what I want in my poems. Themes refreshed in a different outlook. Also wonder if her refers to someone other than a woman, suppose it could considering the highly metaphorical language. I'll stick with the love them, however. An odd love, a different love, it's not perfectly aligned graph paper. It's not what everyone believes 'that' to be.
I would take out the quotations. They distract from the central point of the poem for me. I understand you are putting emphasis on the word and the meaning behind the word and the way you are using this word to describe this relationship, but I don't need the quotations to tell me that. The poem itself should do that alone. We will know what you are saying without the distracting marks around the words.
"you venom you volatile" definitely the line that has the most impact for me. using 'that' consistently throughout the poem is extremely effective and makes for a very interesting read, thanks for sharing
I realize you have always defined relations a certain way ... not what social convention might say. Its a unique view of love ... based on facts. And as far as that's concerned ... I'll try to match the facts with the passions. Don't you think?
Wow! Innovative. I really like the use of: "you venom, you volatile"...and your attribution of verb characteristics to nouns and adjectives. Effective! I enjoyed all your vehement rejections too: "Not here, not on this earth, not on this rock dislodged"! Great. Fresh and alive.
Amazing use of words and description.
"you venom you volatile
you combust in dreary devastation
abrupt stoppages in well enough life and in
well enough events we entertain each other
so well with, well, enough"
The above lines. Powerful and alive. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote
25 / Canada
I'm back ;)
New series: "Name one thing in this photo"
1. Grocery list and a Love letter
2. Went Wrong
3. 24
4. The Pacific Theater
5. A SATA cable frayed
6. One Thing
7. .. more..