Daffodils

Daffodils

My sister made some cut out flowers

Yellow daffodils, straw-stemmed

Hairy, plastic, mustard petals.

 

She put them in a drinking glass

Still stained with morning-milk

And half-filled up with dishwater

 

Her vase was then placed next to a vase

That held real daffodils, begging for a comparison.

Hers had been unequivocally better

 

The real ones were dried up by now

Their stems looked like chewed celery

Their pedals like yellow gift-paper.

 

  ~ Cole Hayley

Author's Note

For Suburbia.

Reviews

[Corset]

A very endearing write and a giant leap for suberbia and sisters. Gotta love those pipe stem daffodils made with the loving hands of youthful imagination, I bet they were infinately better :) well done Cole..come back already!

[Edmund S. Obumba]

People usually think that poetry is all about hiding things from the common understanding.
Simple,plain and clear..readable through all ages..
I love this piece.simple but resonates with our common understanding.

[Adam, the Grub Street L..]

Cute and about my favourite flower.
This is what poetry should be to me, a simple and concrete idea presented concisely.

[Steven]

I like this, man. Short and sweet. Makes its point well.

[.]

Beautiful use of imagery,Cole. "Their stems looked like chewed celery
Their pedals like yellow gift-paper." I agree with Elga; Keep working on it!

[SHEEMA HUQ]

I wonder how your younger sister felt about this poem, I have a hunch that she would have approved, great stuff

[Coyote Poetry]

Fake flowers last forever. I hate to pick the live one's. I know they live for a time only. I enjoy the story. You create a good vision of life and flowers. Thank you for the excellent poem.
Coyote

[eglantine]

last line "petals

Love the meaning evoked by this imagery, the comparison of trying to duplicate nature. "still stained with morning-milk" is my favorite image. This poem is not finished--I feel like it is suspended, ready to continue on. Thanks for sharing.

[Michael G.]

Interesting write. I could see my daughter and son, at early ages doing the exact same thing. And her brother now, still finds the beauty in whatever she does.
Well done.

[Junert]

Lovely.