I Can Give You It

I Can Give You It

I can give you it

The antenna that scrapes your

underbelly and grazes your sores

whenever you wish

for it to be

I can give you it

The preacher on the sand dunes  

waving you back to land 

from the hot air ballon 

you stole from me

Forgiving -- 

the molten air you 

blew into my lungs 

every time we kissed

I can give you it

The veins that speak like

tree branches and burrow into

your flesh and make your

limbs swell

I can give you it

The florescent orb 

stapled on a golden arch

that you wear on your finger

until the day you sell

Forgiving -- 

the holes in the clay

that morphed into what

we considered as "us"

I can give you it

the peace of mind

and everything else

that my walking shadow

serves 

I can give you it

The blueness of 

the day-sky and 

everything else that you

deserve

Author's Note

Reviews

[Barbara Walker]

I can give you it, is just not grammatically correct. It's very awkward to read it or say it aloud. "I can give it to you". Other than that, it's a great write, but I had to read it several times to find that out, due to the fore mentioned.

[Cole Hayley]

I actually landed upon "I Can Give You It" by looking for something that wasn't perfectly correct, and a little awkward. I don't think the poem deserves to really be "perfect" because of its subject matter. I originally used "You Can Have It", but after a while it didn't work for me.

But, I must thank you for the review. I'll return the favor and review a piece of yours! :)

[Pax]

Its like a romantic love letter for someone.
there is a passionate giving of love in the poem that makes it cute and sweet.
wonderful work my friend.

[daydreamer]

Nice write Cole. I agree with That_Girl. Your poem is artistic:)

[That_Girl]

"from the hot air ballon" *balloon

I just can't make myself like the line "I Can Give You It". I don't know what it is about it, but it tripped me up every time I read it. Apart from that though, like always, your work is incredible. I've run out of compliments for you.... you're just... good. Really really good.