I'm Having Trouble Sleeping.

"we evolved in a series of accidents." I think that I think to much.

Reviews

[Steven]

You're hinting at several things at once--chemical imbalance, insomnia, self-disillusionment--and that's in your periphery. I feel flashes of each in every stanza. There is a complete uncertainty in them all. The eyes stapled, trapped looking, bloodless, forced in the air, searching, unable to achieve rest... The girl at the end, going through her motions. Her coffee shop smile and habitual hand gesture are not comforting, but rather show an inability to be other than her public self. The beautiful couplet in the center like a doubt that emerges in the middle of all the subject's interactions. These painful words, or otherwise impression, perceived and internalized, creates fruit, dull and sour, by his own estimation, and to his own despair. Is this insanity? Schizophrenia? Some imbalance of mental chemical? Some lack of synchronicity in the universe? It may not be answerable, which induces only more fatigue of heart. A gasp of a piece. And the writer may need some true laughter to recover.

[Michael G.]

Good premise... keep writing.

[Kayla]

I loved this. I only see one slight issue.
"Balloons," "tightly," and "ankles" are all spelled wrong.
The message was enlightening.

[The Fallen]

This was a very well written poem (:
I

[Lily Mae]

"I kept quiet for the most part" and "Ballons were tied tigtly around your ankels,
you said I was the only thing keeping you down." Love it.. xo

[Dayran]

An appointment made without reference to the calender can only be a date made in timelessness. It may explain why we cross our fingers at such offers.

[SHEEMA HUQ]

i think that this is a poignant and carefully constructive account which is interesting and nicely written

[Coyote Poetry]

I like the flow of thoughts and the actions in the poem. Good to share coffee and find a path to rest. I did like the ending to the excellent poem.
Coyote

[Kelsey]

I really loved this. It's a really great read and I love how you worded everything, along with the setup of the poem. Lovely job. x