Ricin And Coffee Beans

Congratulations on the mess you made of things.

Ricin And Coffee Beans

Your breath tingles with a scarlet scent of ricin 

engulfing the full moon and inhaling it through your mouth 

while smoke slips pass through your torrid nostrils. 

The paintings above my mantelpiece has captivated this welkin 

covering our shadows with a beautiful azure outline.

It braids your hair with a enormous mulberry bow 

one that radiates like a lilac fringed by the sunshine. 

The paintings offers such pretentious solace.

Silently hiding the plane thats on fire over our house

and keeping oue bodies in such a sublime trance. 

Still you smoke that cigarette until its carmine tip falls to the floor

and the filters give out a bittersweet coral flame. 

Your lips are filled with traces of embers and ash 

and adorn with dungy chestnut coffee stains. 

Still your breath tingles every time you spill your virulence,

but yet you manage to make everyone  inhale your impeccable valiancy.

The funny thing is I never once smelled the poison on your lips

Author's Note

Reviews

[LogoDaedalus]

The use of a colour in almost every line gives the whole poem a rich, resonant tone, like an oil painting put into words. I love the juxtaposition of still, complex beauty against the edge of danger and destruction in the smoke and flame. Your use of recurring phrases at the beginnings of lines ("Your breath tingles," "The paintings,") holds the whole poem together through all this widely varied imagery, as does your very scant use of a slant rhyme scheme in the quatrains.

One question on word choice -- valiancy? It seems a little out of place among the other descriptors, since nothing in the poem up to that point gave us the suggestion that the subject was especially valiant.

[Junert]

Great poem

[afra]

i liked the twist in the end ....well done

[Coyote Poetry]

Great description made the words come alive. I like the way you use the language. Always a pleasure to read your poetry. Good flow of thoughts and I like the ending. Thank you for the outstanding poetry.
Coyote

[Yheela]

The twist at the end lifts the whole poem, nicely done.

[Pax]

i like this line:
The funny thing is I never once smelled the poison on your lips
exellent poem

[_mal]

I love your word choice,

[Kimberly "Melody" Carne..]

Amazing as always! You are just such a great freakin writer! Love it as always!

[♪The Girl Next Do..]

Wow. Excellent poem, something about this I just love. Great work.