Relief Amongst The Parabola
I'm apprehensive towards every second that slips through the plastic glass of my living room clock. Relief is only a single moment thats shared on a tangent line, a tangent line that intercepts a parabola of dysphoria. Its funny when people talk about how good their life is, how they have finally gotten to be exactly where they wanted. Thats just a false sense of safety in complete honesty, its just another lie we tell ourselves to keep from falling apart. Its like when you tell your kid that there is no such thing as ghosts or that the boogeyman is just a imaginary fiend that only sleeps underneath the beds of movie stars.
Unfortunately relief is scaled down to be a minuscule insignificant bit that in no ways compares to the feelings of fear, hurt and anger that riddles most of our lives. I like to use this metaphor when I talk about relief, imagine a brilliant thunderstorm, that same kind of thunderstorm your cat was afraid of when you were a kid. When the rain came down from obscene clouds and the dark underbelly filled the horizon with such a beautiful mystique. Your parents would turn off all of your electronics so that you wouldn't get "electrocuted" and they would tell you keep away from the window. Well for some people relief came when you counted the seconds between the sound of thunder and the lighting flash to see how far it was away. For others relief was when they got to look out the window so they could see the display of natural pyrotechnics.
What I'm trying to say is that relief is different for every singular human being. The one thing that is the same across the board however is the sad truth that relief will eventually fade away. There will be other thunderstorms and then those thunderstorms will also fade. In order for you to feel relieved you must need something to get relieved from. Its like the impulse of a neuron. In order for the impulse to cross the synapse and cause depolarization to occur it must first go through several changes. Well in a strange way thats the way life is. In order for you to get that big pay off you must go through the ordeal. Thats why I always snicker when people say they have the perfect life. I know that its impossible to have the perfect life because in order to have the perfect life you need to have experienced the imperfection of the world. If everything is perfect then your life is s**t, theres no improvements to make, there no goals you need to achieve. Thats the paradox really. In order to feel that your life is perfect then you must have something terrible to compare to, vice versa, if your life is perfect then you have nothing to look forward to which makes your life terrible. Its just one big horrific cycle and we need to realize that eventually extraordinary fades and eventually you will die.
It is at that moment when the tangent line breaks and the parabola flatlines. Its at the moment when relief is not a signalized moment but now an eternity.