Plastic Barn

Flipping through the evidence
The rooster crows
It won’t shut up
As the sun comes up
Alas it’s inaccurate
Warrant kicked my door in
I miss you a whole bunch
I went ahead and skipped lunch
Because without you
There’s no substance
Stay clear of my stars
And the flowers I picked

When you’re gone, I am too
God knows there’s nothing I can do

Author's Note

I don’t know why I posted this, ???😵‍💫 happy Halloween.

Reviews

[Oxenholme]

Hi. One tip I might offer is to avoid (unless for intended specific effect) ending two successive rows with the same word - especially an inconsequential one, ie: "Up." I do appreciate their have different meanings (sort-of) in the two contexts but I think you might improve matters by avoiding the situation. Cheers.

[Vertigo Cat1111]

Hey, I really, really appreciate this! Your review is so appreciated and so is the advice! I will eventually be touching this one up when I get to it, thank you so much. (:

[Oxenholme]

Thanks so much for your reply. Glad to have been of service. Cheerio.

[light and ashes]

I kind of like this. I like how you used the word "substance," which could have easily been the word sustenance, because in the context they mean something similar.
Well written. I enjoyed reading.

[Vertigo Cat1111]

Thank you so much! I’m very happy you enjoyed and I appreciate the review endlessly.

[light and ashes]

You are very welcome.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

this could apply to various scenarios...but when that doorway is empty...or the maple leaf finally falls from the tree in autumn...sadness moves in like a bad season...
j.

[Vertigo Cat1111]

Thank you so much for the review- it’s so appreciated.