Build Up

We can be so sad we can't cry- because there's such build up in us, but the only thing that can wash it away, like drain cleaner washes gunk away in your sink, is crying.

There was something stuck in my throat.

And I checked and checked.

But I couldn't see anything.

I didn't dare bring up the subject.

Because I was frightened of what I'd really find.

With the lump in my throat, I wept and I wept.

And I missed when I used to sleep.

I only did once since then, slept.

The night I shoved the idea aside.

But it was lodged in there.

Until I returned to the place I most feared.

The doctor.

As I cried there, my makeup smeared and I pondered 'What's wrong with me? Is it my own doing that I can't breathe?'

I couldn't help but seethe.

And when the doctor arrived, and put the stick on my tongue, almost down my throat, I opened wide.

"It's nothing we can fix," she sighed, "only you can," she declared.

"What do you mean?" I stared.

"You can't figure out why you can't breathe, right?"

I nodded.

"And you wanna breathe right?"

I nodded.

"Well, your problem is your problems. They've built up so much in your heart, they've lodged in your throat."

I almost choked.

----------

CONTINUED:

I went to swallow the lump in my throat, my problems.

But then I realized it was hardly there anymore.

Instead replaced with tears.

And the more tears I cried,

The better I could breathe.

    

Author's Note

I'm actually really nervous to post this because it's quite different than what I've posted before! But please review and tell me what you think! Thank you (:

Reviews

[Cyprian Van Dyke]

What do I think?
Well if this is true, than I am sorry to hear that you're not doing well and I hope you get better soon.

But if it's fiction, you captured my attention from beginning to end and had me hanging on your every word.

Either way, thank you for sharing.

[Vertigo Cat1111]

Thank you so much for reading! I'm doing very well and thank you. (: I'm so glad you liked it

[Cyprian Van Dyke]

Glad to hear you're doing well.
You're welcome. :)

[.]

When we are choked by our emotions so much then it feels like a lump in the throat...... I liked the way you tell the entire story.... Nice read

[Vertigo Cat1111]

Thank you so much! I appreciate it so much, and I’m glad you like it.

[barleygirl]

I am a fan of inventive writing. I get so sick of the typical fare. I love this becuz you've used such an outside-the-dots approach, yet your storyline is cohesive, clear, compelling. Your way of revealing the quirky way we feel & look at life -- this has a childlike quality that makes it impossible not to love this pure outpouring of clarity from someone's inner child. My dad hit us if we cried becuz he didn't want sissy kids. I grew up never ever crying about anything, even movies. But one day, something will dislodge that hunk of gunk in the throat! I love that your poem seems to be on the verge of continuing in this vein. Or it could be left in a cliff-hanger, too (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[Vertigo Cat1111]

Thank you again! I’m so happy you enjoyed this, I’ve always felt stuck in a weird bubble where I didn’t know whether I saw my stories as good or bad but any encouragement and criticism I’ve gotten makes me feel better. Of course, I’m not saying I’m the best writer in the world! It’s just nice to know I’m not delusional when I write, and that there are things I could be doing better. (:

[Chris Shaw]

So true. I have been too sad to cry on many occasions. It does build up. It does stick in your throat and your heart hurts so much you can't sleep. If you can make yourself cry, it's like a dam busting. Does you the world of good. I can relate to this poem. Keeps you off meds too.

Chris

[Vertigo Cat1111]

Thank you so much for reviewing (: I really, really appreciate it and I'm glad I can make something someone will relate too!