The Donkey and the Elephant, or Bipartisan Politics

The donkeys and the elephants

Met on the field of war

To call a congress and parley

About who holds the floor

 

“Our side is right!”

They each did cry

And chant among their ranks

“Give us the power and control

Over the oil and the banks!”

 

“We know what’s best!”

They each did roar

And posture once again

“We know what’s best for us

And our conglomerated friends!”

 

“Let us have the military!

And impose martial law!

We know best which country

To send our next great war!”

 

The only time they’re unified

Is against some common foe

With which to scare the masses

And sway them to and fro

 

“Do we fight the Kremlin?

Or the Dragon of the East?

We’re not like them!

We’re civilized!

Not some savage beast!”

 

“Let’s not forget the homefront

With its War on Drugs

And SARS and AIDS and chickenpox

And common thieving thugs!”

 

Which only goes to show

They’re only happy when they fight

Over guns and G-d and oil

Long into every night

 

And health reform and taxes

And all things large and small

This detrimental dick-waving

Will surely end us all

 

It must be hard

When they can’t see

The forest for the trees

Or the virus that has stolen

Our democracy

 

It has made them blind

To the differences they lack

For though this beast

May have two heads

They share the selfsame back

 

The country and the people

They both claim to uphold

When in truth, the fact is

They’re the ones who stole

 

The rights, the freedoms,

And sensibilities

With their constant bickering

And inability to see-

 

So the donkey and the elephant

Heed the trumpet call

Let slip the dogs

And tread on those

Caught back against the wall