"The Lost Empire XI: The Swamp People"

The Quartet's quest to the Lost Empire continues.

“The Swamp People: A Lost Empire Story”

By Cody Williams

 

1.

            Lenora turned her back and walked out of the barn. James, Walter, and Cain followed and Walter grabbed her by the arm and turned her around.

            “What the hell is you doing fool? Let me go! I got to go to Devil’s Peak to get my sister! The man in black, the shadow man, whatever the hell you want to call him, has her!” Lenora said as she jerked herself out of Walter’s grasp and continued to walk. James walked over to Walter and placed his hand on his shoulder.

            “Devil’s Peak?” James asked. Walter looked up to the mountain on the other end of the woods.

            “Yeah. That’s what they call it.” Walter said. He followed Lenora and Cain walked up to James from behind.

            “Why do they call it that?” James asked as he looked up at the cliff.

            “They say that’s where the devil lives. Middle Universe is a big place. It had always been believed that is where he thrived.” Cain told him.

            “Has anyone ever been there?” James asked. Cain shrugged and looked up at him.

            “Not many people want to go to a place called Devil’s Peak.” Cain said as he and James began walking to follow Lenora and Walter through the woods to Devil’s Peak.

            “Then why did the man in black go there?” James asked. Cain looked up at him with a serious look.

            “Maybe the devil doesn’t scare him.” Cain replied. They caught back up and the four of them started through the woods.

 

2.

            The Quartet walked on the gravel road into Devil’s Forest that led to Devil’s peak. Cain looked around at the darkness that surrounded them. He could sense the moisture in the air and could shake the feeling that something was wrong.

            “Is there any body of water around here?” Cain asked as he looked around for it but couldn’t see it because of the trees.

            “Yes. I believe that there is a swamp around here somewhere but I can’t say exactly where it is. To my knowledge, nobody from the world or the outer worlds has ever set foot in here. Well, except for the man in black of course.” Walter told him.

            “If everyone is so afraid of this place, why isn’t he?” James asked. Walter stopped and looked around at any sign of wildlife around. There was nothing. No birds. Nothing.

            “Maybe, they were afraid of him.” Walter said. They continued there way though the Devi’s Forest until they reached the swamp. The all gazed out at it for a moment. Lenora looked over to Walter.

            “I guess we’ll have to cross it.” Walter said. He knelt down beside where the swamp started. “But how do we know what kind of creatures lurk beneath the surface?” He asked. Lenora sighed and began to make her way through the swamp.

            “Lenora, wait! We don’t know what’s in the swamp! There has to be a way we can go around it!” Walter shouted out. She turned around frustrated and glared at him.

            “That creep has my sister. I’m not willing to give up one more second. If we go around that could take another day. At least. If we cut through the swamp, we’ll be on the other side and we can start to make our way up the mountain.” Lenora said. She turned her back to them again only to see two yellow eyes staring back at her just above the surface of the water. She slowly began to turn around as she saw another pair of eyes appear from the water. Lenora looked over at Walter with fear and slowly began to back her way out of the swamp.

            Lenora could hear the creatures growl at her. As she stepped back on to land, the creatures followed. The two creatures’ heads appeared from under the water. They had the heads of an alligator with a prehistoric horn sprouting from their snout. They slithered from the water to reveal they had the body of a giant anaconda. The four of slowly backed away from the merchants until they heard somebody call out.

            “Regina, Ragan, down!” A loud commanding voice shouted out from the swamp. The two creatures turned and slithered back into the swamp in a hurry. Another creature emerged from the swamp. It had a dark gray colored tone to its skin and its body was hairless. The creature had what looked like cat’s eyes and a giant cat’s snout for a nose. It three fingers on each hand and claws six inches long.

            “Sorry about that. They’re always testy around victors.” The creature said to them. The voice of the creature sounds much like that of a sweet woman. The four of them just stood in silence and stared at the creature. “Can I get you guys anything? I would offer you some frog leg soup, but a man ran through here and snatched it up.” She said.

            “A man? Was he wearing all black?” Walter asked. The creature nodded and pointed to the other side of the swamp.

            “Yeah, he ran over there and up to Devil’s Peak!” She said. The four of them looked at each other and then at the creature.

            “Do you have a raft or something we could use to get across the swamp? We’re in a hurry to catch the man who stole your soup!” Walter said. The creature nodded and pointed to a raft made of wood that was leaning up against a tree. “Thanks!” Walter said. The quartet ran over and pushed the raft into the swamp. They all got on and paddled it across the swamp and waved goodbye at the swamp lady.

            “And when you catch that son of a b***h, you give him a good slap on the head for me! Okay honey.” She shouted out.

            “Will do! Thanks for the raft!” Walter replied.

            The Quartet stepped out of the raft and looked up at the mountain. It wasn’t terribly high. It reached about the size of a five-story building. Lenora, Walter, James, and Cain began to run up the corkscrew hills of the mountain until they reached the top of the peak.

            “Hello James!” The raspy voice of the man in black said as he sat on a large bolder on the edge of the cliff.

Copyright 2014 by Cody Williams
Courtesy of The Enchanted Press
A division of TTP Entertainment

Author's Note

The quest for the Lost Empire continues. I'm a lot closer to the end then I used to be. Thanks for reading!

-CW

Other Lost Empire stories:
1. The Lost Empire I: The Twister
2. The Lost Empire II: The Man In Black
3. The Lost Empire III: The Road To Avon
4. The Lost Empire IV: The Flea Market
5. The Lost Empire V: The Shapeshifter
6. The Lost Empire VI: Prophecy
7. The Lost Empire VII: Lenora
8. The Lost Empire VIII: The Eye of the Tiger
9. The Lost Empire IX: The Cave

Stories with connections to The Lost Empire:
-"The Rest Stop"
-"The Happy Place"
-"The Rabbit's Foot" (written with Joe Price)
-"Wilma"

The Lost Empire Series Reading Guide:
http://www.writerscafe.org/writing/Cody_Williams/1374137/

Reviews

[Sharon Kim]

Let me start off by saying that I have to go back and read the previous stories in this series because I think I have missed some of them so forgive me if I make comments or have questions that you've answered in other parts. I would love to know more about the creature from the swamp, I felt that they were very quick to trust her. I think you could expand that exchange especially if she will play a part in the story later on.

You did a pretty good job of editing. I did notice just a few spots.

They’re always testy around victors.” The creature said to them. The voice of the creature sounds much like that of a sweet woman.

victors- visitors
The line about her voice is a tell, not show and is written in the present tense when the rest of the story was written in the past tense.
Consider: The creature's feminine voice said sweetly. [I have Jack's voice in my head saying don't use an adverb. Perhaps he can make a suggestion here. :)]

I'll work on reading the rest.

bolder-boulder

[Cody Williams]

Thanks for reading Sharon. It looks as if the series will run longer than I initially planned. It was planned to run 13 stories alone, but it looks like there will be a few more than that. The original title for this was "James Meets The Man In Black". That one will be next. I figured ending it with the man in black/shadow man sitting with his back to James at the end would be a fitting ending. I do look to have it posted within the next week.

Also, I'm thinking about doing a prequel series titled "Lowland" that will tell the story of how Lowland came to be and how the shadow man was cast out of it. Just a thought.

Thanks again for reading Sharon! Your input means a lot!

-CW

[Sharon Kim]

I like your thought on the ending and the prequel. Ilike when things come full circle I'll work on reading the rest! :)

[SmittyJas]

Very mysterious for a story of the swamp people and the darken forest with no wildlife just a silent night and the four adventures out for a walk to get to Lenora's Sister who was taken away and could of been lost for ever. Great story telling here.

[D. M. Anderson]

I think I'll have to read the rest of the series to make any sense of this story. Here's some grammar errors i spotted:

“Then why did the man in black go there?” James asked. Cain looked up at him with a serious look. - I think that perhaps that second sentence could be changed. Maybe 'Cain stared gravely at his friend.' or something like that? using 'looked' and 'look' in the same sentence just reads badly.

He could sense the moisture in the air and could shake the feeling that something was wrong. - could shake = couldn't shake

It three fingers on each hand and claws six inches long. - It (had) three fingers

Overall impression:

Honestly I'm not sure what to make of it. This is probably due to the fact that i haven't read the previous stories in the series. Are they each a chapter in a larger book? Or are they episodic? This doesn't really have a beginning or an end, so I am guessing that it is a part of the greater whole.

I agree with Sharon, that the protagonists seem to trust the swamp lady/creature pretty quickly and that a little more page-time could have been given to that character if you do intend on bringing her back into the story in a later installment.

Also, the trip up the devil's mountain seemed rushed. The characters spend a lot of time speaking ominously about the mountain, but the actual journey up is covered in little more then a sentence. The trip through the woods and the swamp take longer than the mountain. There's a whole lot of story that could happen on the winding trail up to the peak.

Anyways, sorry i couldn't give a more cohesive review. Maybe I'll come back after i read the rest of the series.

[Cody Williams]

Thanks for reading. The stories of The Lost Empire are a continuing story. I'm getting closer to the end point as I move forward. The next one will be called "James Meets The Man In Black". This point in the story was originally planned to be a few issues ago and this was supposed to end around the 13th issue. That's not going to happen, but we are getting closer to the end.

-CW

[NoelHC]

The genre is not my favorite, so I don't have much to say content-wise. Sharon Kim points out the same issues I would have done, it seems you paid more attention to editing this story than usual, please keep that up.

[Cody Williams]

Thanks for reading Noel!

-CW