"The Railroad Crossing"

“The Rail Road Crossing”

By Cody Williams

 

            The two girls knew what they had to do. They had to cross the railroad bridge that hung high above the four lanes below. They knew that probably shouldn’t set foot on the railroad, but they had no choice. That’s was the only way they would return home.

            The two were sisters. One named Lori, the older one who was 22 years old, and the other was named Sarah who was nineteen and half way through her first semester of college.

            It was now 12:07, seven minutes past their curfew time. Why would even think about doing the safe thing and go the long way around? They had their teenaged logic going at full swing. Frank, their father, must have been shitting a brick while passing in the living room. But all they had to do was cross the bridge and they would practically be home.

            The two girls were out to a party. It was the greatest party of their lives. They knew as soon as they were offered that drink that they should probably have left. But they went ahead and drank. It was anything they could do to fit in. The two drunken girls were now laughing hysterically. There was nothing particularly funny about the situation, it was just that annoying laughter you can’t help but do when you’re intoxicated.

            “Come on!” Lori said giggling as she grabbed the arm of her younger sister leading her across the bridge. Sarah followed and the two girls began to cross the bridge as they depended on each other to hold themselves up.

            When they were about halfway across the bridge the began to hear something in the distance. They paused and stood in complete silence. They turned behind them and saw black colored smoke appearing from the woods and they heard that sound again. The sound of a train whistle. A long black train appeared from the trees and began rushing towards them. Their face fell white and the drunk giggling stopped. There’s nothing that will sober you faster than your life possibly being in danger.

            “Come on! Run!” Lori shouted as the two girls linked arms and began running across the bridge. “Come on Sarah! Faster!” Lori shouted again. The two girls continued to run before their arms became unlinked and Sarah fell down and screamed in pain. Lori ran back to check on her younger sister

            “What’s wrong? Get up Sarah! We have to go!” Lori said to her.

            “No! I can’t move! My foot is caught!” Sarah replied back. Lori looked down at her foot. The foot was stuck between two broken blood covered boards with one of the boards puncturing her ankle. Her foot was beginning to turn a blue is color and her ankle was popped out of her foot in a way that just doesn’t look natural. Lori reached down and helped her pull her foot from the two boards. She finally got free and the two girls began attempted to run again as the train grew closer.

            Sarah tried to run away, but she just couldn’t stand on her own two feet. Her ankle gave out on her and she once again collapsed onto the track. She screamed with pain again and Lori fell to her knees beside her. Lori and Sarah let out their final blood boiling screams. Before the they had a chance to get up and run again, the two girls got depowered by the train. The train continued traveling the train tracks before finally disappearing into the misty mountain air.

Copyright 2014 by Cody Williams

Courtesy of TRUE TERROR PUBLICATIONS

A division of TTP Entertainment

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Author's Note

Not my best...but I had fun writing it. It's also a bit shorter than what I usually do. I hope you all enjoy it!

-CW

Reviews

[Dayran]

Reminded me a little of the great legends of the wheel of life that stops for nothing and no one and crushes them into powder. Its a little metaphoric but would match the march of time the way the native Americans may have viewed the experience of the ' iron horse ' charging down the plains. I'm not sure what I'll say about the experiences of two sisters past their curfew ... but it may be more than merely metaphoric or physical ... if its happening right now. Nice.

[Cody Williams]

Thanks for reading Dayran!

-CW

[Riding the Rainbow]

really scary...well done, Cody

[Cody Williams]

Thanks for reading!

-CW

[Sarah]

very descriptive... i liked it. i guess it would give a whole new look on teens going out partying and getting trashed. nice job.

[Cody Williams]

Thanks for reading Tweety!

-CW

[Dan Hiland]

Lots of good descriptions, as well as some suspense.
A lack of background about the girls diminishes the impact, though.
And what was the point of the story? While there was conflict, what was the purpose for telling people about this event? True, the girls did have a choice- they could have taken the long way around. But the fact that they did not is a critical plot point. Sure they were drunk and their decision-making skills impaired- but I believe that providing a reason for their poor choice would help set up an ironic ending- a tragedy that could have been averted, or maybe not, depending on whether or not fate played as role.
It is a sort of morality play, but it needs more to it. As it stands it is not a story so much as an unfortunate event that no one can explain or moralize about.
As I said before, the piece has good descriptions and some suspense. There are also some good lines in it that other reviewers have already mentioned. And maybe there doesn't need tyo be a point to this. That's fine, as long as you are not presenting this as a story. But a story does have some sort of point, arrived at by the oevrcoming of some sort of conflict. In the end, the characters have changed- for better or worse. But they have changed. (I'm thinking of the Flannery O'Connor story "A Good Man Is Hard To Find." Talk about changes- yikes!)
Thanks for sharing this piece!

[Cody Williams]

Thanks for reading Dan!

-CW

[Tania]

i enjoyed this a lot! shows you had fun writing it

[Cody Williams]

Thanks for reading!

-CW

[Odysseus Wanders]

yeah! fun read here. exciting. i enjoyed very much. i can tell you had fun writing this one.
and the end was brutal. had me making faces. bone crunching good stuff. nicely done. it really relies on some very good imaginative writing.

[Cody Williams]

Thanks for reading Terry!

-CW

[I Am Svetlana]

"There’s nothing that will sober you faster than your life possibly being in danger." Such a true line and it make me giggle. Anyway, such a tragic story and scary because of how alcohol could be the main factor of one's death. If they had not been intoxicated, they would still be alive and would have made it home soon after curfew. Strange because things like what happened in this story could happen anytime, anywhere in someone's life. People don't believe it could happen to them, but you never know what could happen once you are put into that situation. I really loved this write! Great story :)

[Cody Williams]

Thanks again for reading Swetlana! I though a few people might like that line:)

-CW

[Michael Stevens]

Well, possible death is a great deterrent for trying to cross a train trestle!

[Cody Williams]

Thanks for reading Michael!

-CW

[Marie]

You're right; it's not one of your best. Perhaps the girls could return later to haynt the tracks...?

[Cody Williams]

Yes! That's the ending of the story! I have a different version in mind that will flesh it out a little more.

[Sami Khalil]

I like this alot. It gave me the chills reading about the two sisters and their fate at the end. Being in the wrong place at the wrong time is a good message here...Bravo..............

[Cody Williams]

Thanks for reading Sami!

-CW

[Sami Khalil]

You are welcome...:).....................