“Ten
minutes until show time!” Terrance Bowman, the set director, shouted into Tanya’s
dressing room while holding up his five fingers. It was Tansy’s first ever
production. She was cast the lead in the runaround play Wicked. She reached down and put on her long black witch hat. She
looked in the mirror and fixed her long wavy brown hair. She turned and walked
out of her dressing room and down the hallway.
Tanya
stopped halfway down the hallway. She felt this overwhelming feeling that she
was being watched. She turned around and looked down the hall towards the
stairway. There stood what looked like a grown woman along with a young girl
with their hands linked together. The woman had red hair tied up in a bun and
was tall and thin. The young girl had long blonde hair that reached halfway
down her back. They both looked as if they were dressed in costume for a play
adaptation of A Litter House On The Prairie.
The
grown woman was wearing a long brown colored dress while the younger girl was
wearing a red and white-checkered dress reaching just past her knees. Both of
their faces were and unusual color pale. ‘They must still be in make up.’ Tanya
thought to herself. The two of them turned right and began walking up the
stairs. Tanya walked back down the hallway following them. She peaked her head
around the corner and looked up the staircase. Nobody was there. She turned
around and walked back down the hallway. When she reached the end of it she
turned around again. There once again stood the two. She put it out of her mind
and walked into the backstage area.
“Oh
there you are! Are you ready for your big moment? It’s your time to shine!”
Terrance said proudly. Tanya nodded and looked back out the door. She turned
back to him.
“Terrence
was there some sort of play here recently. Like an old timey play?” She asked
him. Terrence thought for a moment. He looked back at her and shook his head
no.
“I
can’t recall anything like that since it has been rebuilt.” Terrence said. He
turned his back to her and began walking off.
“What
do you mean since it’s been rebuilt?” Tanya asked him. Terrence turned back to
her.
“Back
in the early 1900s the theater burnt down.” Terrence stated. Tanya sat down on
a stool and balanced her chin on the palm of her hand and looked at him engaged.
“In fact, I think it was within the first month it was even open. I believe the
year was 1922 and I believe the play was The
Better Half. It was opening night and the entire auditorium was packed full
of people. It was so full people were even sitting in the aisle. The attendance
was about 350 people. Something went wrong with the lights. It was an
electrical spark or something, ignited the auditorium. 200 of those 350 people
died. They burned to death in this very theater.” Terrence said. He turned and
peaked out the curtain and then looked back at Tanya. “But that’s just an urban
legend. Come on now it’s show time!” Terrence said. Tanya got up and shut her
eyes standing behind the curtain.
“Break
a leg everyone! Action!” Terrence declared. The curtain rose up and Tanya
stared out into the audience. What she saw sent shocks of fright throughout her
body. The usual audience was there, but throughout the aisles and even on the
edges of the stage stood a crowed of people. Every one of them had paper white
faces and was wearing clothes from the early 20th century. In the
corner of her eye she saw the mother and daughter pair that were standing
staring at her in the stairway. Her heart began to thump with fear and beads of
sweat began rolling down her face.
She
swallowed hard as she began to feel a lump in her throat. She could no longer
remember the words. Tanya just stood there in complete silence.
“Talk
Tanya! Go! It’s your time!” Terrence loudly whispered from behind the curtain.
She looked back into the audience. Everything was the same, only now, everyone
was pale and looked dead. She began to smell the smell of rotting flesh and she
once again looked over to the two girls she saw in the hallway. The two reached
their arms out for her and began to walk closer. The audience began to boo and
the little girl began to walk closer.
Tanya
knelt down and the girl put her arms around her. In her ear the little girl
whispered ‘You’re one of us now!’ She said. A stage light then collapsed and
the curtain burst into flames. The audience stood up and ran to the blocked
exits. Tanya stood up and leaped off of the stage. A spark from the fallen
stage light landed on the central heating system, the propane tank. The windows
shattered and the building exploded with force.
Copyright 2013 by Cody Williams
Courtesy of TRUE TERROR PUBLICATIONS
A division of TTP Entertainment
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Sorry for the slow response Cody. I've got a long list of requests to move down, and my novel is currently undergoing heavy revisions. I will do my best to stay in contact with a bit more haste if possible.
Righto. So, the first suggestion I have is what seems relatively benign, but as you know little details are a big deal. It's actually the stage manager that calls for places, rather than the director. In most shows, the cast members are expected to be in place already at the 15 minute mark. This isn't always the case, but it makes it seem a bit more believable. I remember a very angry stage manager during a run of The Mikado over one of our leads not having props in place by 10 till curtain...the best comparison I can make would be flaming wolverines.
Anyway, I'm going to give you a higher score on concept alone. Theatres in general are damn *creepy* in the dark, with the old ones taking a special place in many nightmares. There's a lot going on here, and this is a good thing. You also take a little bit more time on your imagery, but it needs a dash of sensory thrown in. Those stagelights are really hot. Let's feel the heat. Is there a draft when the dead rise for a show? Let's see it and feel it. Take what you have here and add more meat. Slow her down, fatten it up, and give me more with this concept.
By the way, what's this "True Terror" publication tag I keep seeing on your stuff? I wouldn't mind putting out the occasional short story if it gets my name out there. Anyway, shameless self plug.
Regards,
-M. L. Zane
Posted 10 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
10 Years Ago
Thanks for reading! TRUE TERROR PUBLICATIONS is just my personal imprint. It appears on anything I p.. read moreThanks for reading! TRUE TERROR PUBLICATIONS is just my personal imprint. It appears on anything I publish and will also appear in any books (I'm currently working on a collection of short stories) that I publish. A few other writers on here such as John Smith, Richard Edwards, Joe Price, and Carly Carson also use my imprint for their horror related stuff. I also occasionally use True Crime Press and The Enchanted Press for crime, fantasy, and science fiction. True Terror was named after an essay I wrote and eventually published on here about the horror genre as a whole. If you want to use the imprint go ahead. I won't stop you.
Thanks again for reading!
-CW
10 Years Ago
I won't use your imprint, but if you'd like a story or two for your collection, I'll happily do so p.. read moreI won't use your imprint, but if you'd like a story or two for your collection, I'll happily do so pro bono in exchange for publicity and the occasional review. I wasn't sure if you were representing a literary magazine or something. I sort of miss editing for periodicals. :( Anything in particular you'd like to see in the collection? My goal right now is networking. Funding comes when Song of Sinai comes out (hopefully).
10 Years Ago
I'll keep that in mind :) The collection will probably consist of about 20 short stories (I believe .. read moreI'll keep that in mind :) The collection will probably consist of about 20 short stories (I believe I have written close to 50 or so). Some will be horror and some will not (such as "Wilma" which is a fantasy tale). I'm also beginning work on a novella called "Drake". I'll be releasing a chapter each month through December on here and then probably around New Year's of 2015 I'll release it as an ebook.
10 Years Ago
Well, I'll write for free, but if you ever want a professional editor I can offer a discount. :) I m.. read moreWell, I'll write for free, but if you ever want a professional editor I can offer a discount. :) I miss downing entire pots of coffee and sending back files covered in commentary bubbles in Microsoft Word. Ah, memories.
10 Years Ago
I would be really grateful for your editing! How much would it cost? I don't really know which stori.. read moreI would be really grateful for your editing! How much would it cost? I don't really know which stories will be in the collection. We'll have to wait and see.
It depends on the length of the work and how long it'll take. For individual works under 15 pages wi.. read moreIt depends on the length of the work and how long it'll take. For individual works under 15 pages with only one look over, I charge $3.00 USD per page...in your case, I'd bump it down to $2.00 USD. 15+ pages single look over is $5.00 USD per page, but for you I'll discount to $3.50 USD. For larger works I offer repeat editing and a contract. The last one I did was a dissertation including references at 150 pages over the course of two months and four revisions, which I charged an even $200.00 USD. For your work, we'll talk business and negotiate. If it's a collection of short stories, you'll probably be under 200 pages. In short, we'll work something out should you be interested. My services include full proofing, error correction, suggestions, and a notation wherever I found, fixed, or believe there to be a possible error. It sounds a bit pricey in this awful economy, but I'm used to negotiating my rates on a writer's budget.
10 Years Ago
I'm currently a college student so you can imagine that I'm on a fixed income. However, your prices .. read moreI'm currently a college student so you can imagine that I'm on a fixed income. However, your prices look reasonable. Right now, I'm looking into publishing it in ebook format and maybe a few hardcover editions for people close to me published via Amazon and T. Let me check through some of my stuff and decide what stories I want in and I'll get back with you.
Whoa! Fantastic concept here, Luv...I like it very much. It needs filling out a bit...and maybe you should do a bit of research on stage production...but it's a damn good story. Old theatres are pretty scary places to begin with, don't you think?
Posted 10 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
10 Years Ago
There's a local theater close to my house that is supposably haunted. When I was in elementary schoo.. read moreThere's a local theater close to my house that is supposably haunted. When I was in elementary school I went on a field trip there and they took us to the basement. Yes! I'd have to say that theaters are very creepy places! Thanks for reading Angel!
Sorry for the slow response Cody. I've got a long list of requests to move down, and my novel is currently undergoing heavy revisions. I will do my best to stay in contact with a bit more haste if possible.
Righto. So, the first suggestion I have is what seems relatively benign, but as you know little details are a big deal. It's actually the stage manager that calls for places, rather than the director. In most shows, the cast members are expected to be in place already at the 15 minute mark. This isn't always the case, but it makes it seem a bit more believable. I remember a very angry stage manager during a run of The Mikado over one of our leads not having props in place by 10 till curtain...the best comparison I can make would be flaming wolverines.
Anyway, I'm going to give you a higher score on concept alone. Theatres in general are damn *creepy* in the dark, with the old ones taking a special place in many nightmares. There's a lot going on here, and this is a good thing. You also take a little bit more time on your imagery, but it needs a dash of sensory thrown in. Those stagelights are really hot. Let's feel the heat. Is there a draft when the dead rise for a show? Let's see it and feel it. Take what you have here and add more meat. Slow her down, fatten it up, and give me more with this concept.
By the way, what's this "True Terror" publication tag I keep seeing on your stuff? I wouldn't mind putting out the occasional short story if it gets my name out there. Anyway, shameless self plug.
Regards,
-M. L. Zane
Posted 10 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
10 Years Ago
Thanks for reading! TRUE TERROR PUBLICATIONS is just my personal imprint. It appears on anything I p.. read moreThanks for reading! TRUE TERROR PUBLICATIONS is just my personal imprint. It appears on anything I publish and will also appear in any books (I'm currently working on a collection of short stories) that I publish. A few other writers on here such as John Smith, Richard Edwards, Joe Price, and Carly Carson also use my imprint for their horror related stuff. I also occasionally use True Crime Press and The Enchanted Press for crime, fantasy, and science fiction. True Terror was named after an essay I wrote and eventually published on here about the horror genre as a whole. If you want to use the imprint go ahead. I won't stop you.
Thanks again for reading!
-CW
10 Years Ago
I won't use your imprint, but if you'd like a story or two for your collection, I'll happily do so p.. read moreI won't use your imprint, but if you'd like a story or two for your collection, I'll happily do so pro bono in exchange for publicity and the occasional review. I wasn't sure if you were representing a literary magazine or something. I sort of miss editing for periodicals. :( Anything in particular you'd like to see in the collection? My goal right now is networking. Funding comes when Song of Sinai comes out (hopefully).
10 Years Ago
I'll keep that in mind :) The collection will probably consist of about 20 short stories (I believe .. read moreI'll keep that in mind :) The collection will probably consist of about 20 short stories (I believe I have written close to 50 or so). Some will be horror and some will not (such as "Wilma" which is a fantasy tale). I'm also beginning work on a novella called "Drake". I'll be releasing a chapter each month through December on here and then probably around New Year's of 2015 I'll release it as an ebook.
10 Years Ago
Well, I'll write for free, but if you ever want a professional editor I can offer a discount. :) I m.. read moreWell, I'll write for free, but if you ever want a professional editor I can offer a discount. :) I miss downing entire pots of coffee and sending back files covered in commentary bubbles in Microsoft Word. Ah, memories.
10 Years Ago
I would be really grateful for your editing! How much would it cost? I don't really know which stori.. read moreI would be really grateful for your editing! How much would it cost? I don't really know which stories will be in the collection. We'll have to wait and see.
It depends on the length of the work and how long it'll take. For individual works under 15 pages wi.. read moreIt depends on the length of the work and how long it'll take. For individual works under 15 pages with only one look over, I charge $3.00 USD per page...in your case, I'd bump it down to $2.00 USD. 15+ pages single look over is $5.00 USD per page, but for you I'll discount to $3.50 USD. For larger works I offer repeat editing and a contract. The last one I did was a dissertation including references at 150 pages over the course of two months and four revisions, which I charged an even $200.00 USD. For your work, we'll talk business and negotiate. If it's a collection of short stories, you'll probably be under 200 pages. In short, we'll work something out should you be interested. My services include full proofing, error correction, suggestions, and a notation wherever I found, fixed, or believe there to be a possible error. It sounds a bit pricey in this awful economy, but I'm used to negotiating my rates on a writer's budget.
10 Years Ago
I'm currently a college student so you can imagine that I'm on a fixed income. However, your prices .. read moreI'm currently a college student so you can imagine that I'm on a fixed income. However, your prices look reasonable. Right now, I'm looking into publishing it in ebook format and maybe a few hardcover editions for people close to me published via Amazon and T. Let me check through some of my stuff and decide what stories I want in and I'll get back with you.
THis is really good, Cody; one of your better stories. Of course, there are errors to correct, but the style is good; nothing too obscure or out of place.
I kind of like the name Tansy better than Tanya...
This I figure may take after the experience of a child going to sleep ... and in the sudden quiet ... after a day of active playing and noise ... suddenly finds himself face to face with himself. Its a disquietening sensation in a young man ... whose sense of quiet may mean the fear being separated from mother and father.
But his defenses take over and he begins a play himself ... on stage sometimes ... and sometimes its a direct reporting of something that took place in the past of his unconscious. I sometimes look up some of these that are suggested in my dreams ... and yes I may have found a theater or two burning down myself. Nicely done kiddo ... keep it up.
I love your stories that are dark and haunting with dead people and ghosts. I like all the suspense aspect too...Ingenious as always...:).....................
I am in my second year at Carson-Newman University in Jefferson City, Tennessee were I major in instrumental music education and minor in English. My passions include playing the trombone/euphonium an.. more..