"The Ghost of Jeff Walker"

"The Ghost of Jeff Walker"

A Story by Cody Williams
"

After realizing that he was out too late, Jerry Smyth meets an intersting yet terrifying man.

"

“The Ghost of Jeff Walker”

By Cody Williams

 

1.

            “S**t!” Jerry Smyth shouted out looking down at his digital watch that read 11:00pm. Jerry was in the middle of his first semester at Betsy University in Betsy, Tennessee. He stood up from his blue chair in the back left corner of the band room and carried his Yamaha marked trombone into the instrument storage room. He reached into the pockets of his navy blue basketball shorts and pulled out a key chain with a key that read locker 72 on it.

            He slipped the key into the keyhole and twisted it to the left to unlock it. He reached into the locker pulling out a red YAMAHA Xeno trombone case. He unlatched the golden buckles on the case and opened the lid. He unscrewed the nut witch connected the bell of the horn to the slide. He placed the bell in the case and then the slide in the case. He shut the case and latched it up and quickly placed it in the wooden locker.

            He shut the door of the locker and once again placed the keyhole and locked the locker. He bent down grabbing his next to the locker and grabbed his silver and black backpack. He placed the strap around his shoulder and darted out of the door. He sprinted into the lobby of the music building and walked out the door, down the steps, and onto the sidewalk.

 

2.

            Jerry looked down at his watch again as it read 11:15. The campus of Betsy University was a lot quieter than usual. It was the week of fall break and his girlfriend Allison was away visiting her parents. In fact, the campus was almost completely empty. Nobody but a few faculty members. The reason he was the only one on campus was because he and his dad had a bit of a falling out.

            His dad, Brad Smyth, owned his own cleaning company called Brad’s Cleaning Service. Jerry served as the head manager. It was Brad’s dream that Jerry one day became partners and on day owned the business. Jerry wanted very little to do with his father’s business. The only reason he accepted the manager job was so that he could have a little extra money in his pocket. Jerry tried out for a variety of performance scholarships and was awarded the grand scholarship to be in the marching band. This scholarship would completely pay for his tuition and would get paid a refund check of eight hundred dollars. He accepted it with no hesitation thus cutting the strings between him and his father.

            He continued walking down the sidewalk where he reached a stop sign. He stopped to look both ways. He walked across the intersection to the other side of the street. He paused for a moment and looked up at the black sky. He looked at the moon, which was lit up in a Halloween colored orange.

            He continued to walk down the sidewalk. He began to think about how empty the campus was. He walked by the Turner Cafeteria. He looked into the window to see if anyone was in there. There was something about walking in the campus at night, even if it was empty. Most people assume that it was peaceful to have the campus to himself. The truth is he thought so too…at first. With his lesson books tucked under his arm and his backpack on his back, he continued to walk down the street.

            Jerry stopped for a moment. “Maybe if I could cut through the center of the campus, I could get to the dorm faster. He turned to his left and walked up a case of five gray concrete stairs.

 

3.

            Jerry continued to walk on the sidewalk towards the center of the campus. He began to imagine the fun he could have since he was the only living being on the campus. The only thing that made him feel uncertain about it was walking through the cemetery. The thought of walking through a cemetery a night was enough to make his skin crawl. He ignored the hairs standing up on the back of his neck and continued to walk along the sidewalk.

As he got closer to the cemetery he could see that goose bumps began to appear on his arms and he could feel the hairs stand up on the back of his neck. He could feel an increase drop in temperature as an eary fog began to roll in from all angles. He stopped under a black metal railing, which read CEMETARY on it. He felt as if there was a lump on his throat. He good in a deep breathes and gulped with fear.

“Well, it’s now or never.” He mumbled to himself as he continued his exposition to his dorm. He began to walk with haste. He could not stand the thought of being in there more than a couple of minutes.

As he reached the center of the cemetery the temperature dropped to what he would describe as ten below freezing. His foot hit one of the head stones and he tripped falling down to the ground. He imminently grabbed his left ankle, which he twisted. He looked over at the now separated into two parts head stone.

JEFF

WALKER

NOT A VERY NICE GUY

            The headstone read.

            “Oh s**t!” He said to himself while picking himself up. He lightly put weight on his left foot and stood up straight. He picked up the upper half of the gravestone and looked at it again. At the top of the stone was the head of a cobra. He knelt down to take a look bottom half of the stone. The date was one thing in particular that intrigued him. 1850-1900 read the stone. What was even stranger was the writing below his last name. NOT A VERY NICE GUY was strange to him. Why would somebody write that about him? What was not nice about him?

            He shook his head and placed the top half on top of the lower half and waited for a moment to make sure that it wouldn’t fall. He picked up his backpack and placed the straps on his shoulders and picked up his group piano group and placed them back under his arm. His picked up the notebook paper he dropped on the sidewalk and shoved them into his piano book. He turned around and continued to walk through the cemetery.

 

4.

            After getting out of the cemetery he could finally see his dorm. He continued to walk along the sidewalk. He walked for several more moments before he began to notice something. He stopped in the middle of the sidewalk. He didn’t even have to look back. He heard the footsteps. He knew he was being followed.

He looked back over his right shoulder and saw a man standing in the middle of the sidewalk about the length of a school bus back. He could not tell who the man was. The moon was behind him so all he could see of his front was black nothingness. He could tell that he was wearing a long black leather trench coat and a tall black hat. In his right hand was what looked like a wooden cane to his side? It looked like he had long black hair falling down on his shoulders.

“Hello?” Jerry called out waiting for a response from the mystery man. No answer. “Hello? What do you want?” He asked again still waiting for a response. Once again, no answer. He turned back in front of him and continued to walk along the sidewalk. With every step he took, he could see the hear the cane of the man hitting the pavement of the sidewalk.

He stopped again and looked back at the man. There the man stood about the length of a school bus back in the same position with his face looking towards the ground.

“Hello? Sir? What do you want from me?” Jerry asked the stranger with a tremble of fear in his voice. Still the stranger wouldn’t answer him. “Damn it man, what the hell do you want from me?” He asked him again this time shouting. The mystery man continued to look at the ground without answering. Jerry looked forward again and continued to walk faster. Still with every step he took, he could hear the cane of the mystery man hit the ground. Every time his step got faster so did the stranger’s. CLICK, CLICK, CLICK he could hear the silver tip of the cane hit and echo throughout the valley as it hit the cold hard pavement.

He continued to walk faster and faster before he realized that he was sprinting across campus. He looked over his shoulder and could no longer see the stranger in sight. He stopped at a bench beside of the tennis courts to catch his breath. Out of the corner of his eye he could see a dark figure approaching him on his left hand side. It was once again the stranger walking urgently towards him.

He once again began to run towards the dorm. The dorm building was six stories high and was the oldest building on campus. The building was a light brown collared brick building. As he got close to the door he looked over his shoulder again and saw that the strange mas was no longer there.

As he reached the front door of the building he stopped of a moment and stuck his hand in his pocked to find his student ID so he could open the door. He grabbed the card and pulled it out of his pocket. He looked up at the door where he saw the mysterious man again. The palms of his hands began to run like faucets and his body began to tremble with fear. This time he could see them man a little bit better. The man was quite muscular and looked like he was about 50 years old. He had long black hair and was wearing a black t-shirt under a black leather trench coat with black jeans and black steel toe boots. In his right hand he was holding a long black wooden cane with the silver head of a king cobra as the handle.

“Who are you? What do you want from me?” Jerry asked the mystery man.

“The name is Jeff Walker.” The man said with a southern accent. Jerry’s skin began to crawl. Jeff walker continued to look down at the ground avoiding eye contact. His heart began to beat so fast he could feel the vibrations in the arch of his foot. “I believe you know that name from somewhere.” He said.

“Aren’t you dead?” He asked him knowing that he was going to regret getting the answer.

“Dead? I don’t like that word. I prefer deceased.” He told the frightened young man. Jerry’s hands began to shake with fear.

“What do you want from me?” He asked the phantom.

“What do I want? Do you think it was a quencidence that you tripped over my head stone? You have been chosen for a reason.” Walker informed the Jerry.

“And what reason would that be?” He asked him again as he once again had a lump in his throat.

“You were chosen to be my outlet.” Jeff Walker told Jerry.

“Outlet?” Jerry asked.

“Yes. You see young man, I have been waiting for over 100 years for this moment.” He said.

“What moment?” Jerry asked.

“The moment where I can once again walk among the living.” The apparition said with pride. He looked up into the eyes of the young man. His eyes were dark and cold. They began to glow red, that is the moment when Jerry realized he was no longer there. That he was under Jeff Walker’s control. Jeff’s black figure merged into the body of Jerry taking it over. Jeff lifted up Jerry’s arms. “Perfect” He screamed as his eyes began to glow once more.

Jeff smiled satisfied and placed his new student ID to the scanner and walked into the dorm.

 

5.

            “Jerry!” Allison shouted out while getting out of her Ford SUV. She ran over and jumped into the arms of her boyfriend. Jerry smiled and kissed her. He hugged her again as his eyes began to glow red as he morphed into Jeff Walker.

 

Copyright 2013 by Cody Williams

Courtesy of TRUE TERROR PUBLICATIONS

A division of TTP Entertainment

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Copyright 2013 by Cody Williams

Courtesy of TRUE TERROR PUBLICATIONS

A division of TTP Entertainment

© 2013 Cody Williams


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Author's Note

Cody Williams
This story came to me after about a week after moving in on campus. It was the first weekend and most everyone went home for the weekend. Living two hours away from where I am attending college I decided to stay and go home the next weekend (Labor Day weekend.)

I was at the music building practicing well after ten o'clock. I quickly left the music building and began my walk across campus do my dorm. While I was walking, the campus was completly deserted. It was practically dead. Nobody was roaming the streets, and there were no cars anywhere. That is when my imagination began to run wild.

I began to think, what if there was a strang man walking behind me? What if he stopped every time I stopped and accelerated every time I did? This was the product.

So please leave me a comment and tell me what you think!

-CW

My Review

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Featured Review

Once again, taking the cliche and making it new in one form or another. There were a couple of things I noticed that you could tweak perhaps to make this piece even stronger. Again, as in other stories you begin the majority of your sentences with "He did this, he did that" It seems like a list rather than a retelling. An exercise to try is to come up with a different way to approach an action so that it seems natural but also in a way that isn't so standard or repetitive. ie:

"Jerry reached into his right pocket and found his locker key. In front of him stood a line of lockers numbered 1 to 100. His eyes scanned left to right until they found locker 43. With one swift movement of his wrist Jerry turned the key in the lock and then swung open the door."

Can you see the difference?

Also, men from the 1800's didn't wear T-shirts. ;)

Other than a little editing with respect to spelling, this was a good one my friend. You have a great imagination and descriptive qualities which make your characters interesting and drive your stories.

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Cody Williams

10 Years Ago

Thanks again for reading Astro!

-CW
Astro

10 Years Ago

No problem CW keep up the craft.



Reviews

Well, I enjoyed it Cody. It was not too long, and was full of description. I liked the ending, as I love to be left dangling, wondering, waiting for the next.......

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Cody Williams

11 Years Ago

Thanks for the review!

-CW
Very good--you really made the ghost of Jeff walker seem to come alive--as I guess he did. The other readers have given you very good reviews and advice.
I would suggest that you look at section 1. You start almost every sentence with "He". If you can rework x=some of that, the writing will sound better.

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Cody Williams

11 Years Ago

Thanks so much for the review!

-CW
The dead live in our memories as a quality of the personality ... sometimes as an indication of something we wish to get away from ... and sometimes we return to it. Nice write.

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Cody Williams

11 Years Ago

Thanks for stopping by Dayran!

-CW
I think this story has great potential, and your attention to detail is very beneficial. The review Douglas White gave you is exactly along the same lines that I was going to go, so I've really nothing to add to what he said - I highly recommend taking his advice, in order to clean up the story just a bit, and it'll be amazing. :) Wonderful start!!

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Cody Williams

11 Years Ago

Thanks so much for reading it! This will not be the final draft of it.

-CW
London's Lily

11 Years Ago

You're very welcome ~ I think you're off to a great start :)
You are an amazing story teller . I enjoyed the fear , the excitement , the dark tones of this write . Wonderful...:)

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Cody Williams

11 Years Ago

Thanks so much for the review!

-CW
Sami Khalil

11 Years Ago

You are welcome...:)
Fantastic story line, great plot. You have a very unique mind. Your spelling and sentence structure need a bit of work, nothing major, just some editing. I love the ending. Brilliant.
A really good story. With a bit of editing, it could be great...

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Cody Williams

11 Years Ago

Thanks so much for the review!

-CW
The concept behind the story is a strong concept, as it touches that little bit of fear we all have when we are alone at night.

That being said, the first thing that I noticed is that you spend most of your time -telling- the reader what is happening. It would be much more effective to -show- them.

Here's a comparison:

Your first paragraph:
“S**t!” Jerry Smyth shouted out looking down at his digital watch that read 11:00pm. Jerry was in the middle of his first semester at Betsy University in Betsy, Tennessee. He stood up from his blue chair in the back left corner of the band room and carried his Yamaha marked trombone into the instrument storage room. He reached into the pockets of his navy blue basketball shorts and pulled out a key chain with a key that read locker 72 on it.

Here's a suggestion on how to -show- instead of -tell-:

Jerry Smyth lowered his Yamaha trombone after the last notes of the song faded, and looked down at his watch. 11:00 p.m.
"S**t!" he said, jumping out of the plastic blue chair. He dug into his pocket for the key to locker 72 as he headed for the instrument storage room, and yanked it out, nearly tearing his navy blue basketball shorts at the same time.
Being a freshman at the University had been tough, but he was determined to excel in everything he did, which naturally ended up with him practicing alone so late at night. Thankfully there were no dorms close by, otherwise he'd have already gotten an earful from the upperclassmen.

See the difference?

The only detail that I left out was the name of the town and university. The reason I did that was, in the context of the story, completely unnecessary information. This story could be anywhere, and probably should be left a little vague so readers can fit it to their own locales.

In terms of details and flow, your writing is tending towards simple statements such as: "He slipped the key into the keyhole and twisted it to the left to unlock it." While there is nothing wrong with that, ask yourself if that much detail is really necessary to move the story forward, or is it just taking up space and bloating the story.

You can add a tremendous amount of detail while still keeping the story in motion. Re-read the example above to see how I added the detail -while he was moving-. It takes a few tries to get the hang of it, but it's worth the effort.

Overall, I think this story has a -great- deal of potential. It needs work on the mechanics, of course, but I really think that this could really be a fantastic short story with a little effort. I'd love to see this on a rewrite. Thanks for the RR on this one!

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Cody Williams

11 Years Ago

Thanks for the review!

-CW
you're an amazing writer..
you rock!

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Cody Williams

11 Years Ago

Thanks a lot!

-CW
This has a nice and tight plot that really moves it on out. I like the fact that you underwrite quite a bit, the old "less is more." What a great way to end a chapter, leaving this reader rattled, high on the 'scare me' meter.
I can hardly wait to read more...Great Job!

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Cody Williams

11 Years Ago

Thanks so much for your kindness and review!

-CW
ba_mcfarlane

11 Years Ago

Good is good.

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Shelved in 6 Libraries
Added on August 25, 2013
Last Updated on November 21, 2013
Tags: horror, science fiction, ghost, supernatural, Cody Williams

Author

Cody Williams
Cody Williams

Elizabethton, TN



About
I am in my second year at Carson-Newman University in Jefferson City, Tennessee were I major in instrumental music education and minor in English. My passions include playing the trombone/euphonium an.. more..

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