Sara

I wrote this poem about my sister, who was going through some bad times in her life at the time that I wrote it. The things she did greatly affected our family and my thoughts about her created this.

What an intelligent mind,

Yet completely blurred and undoubtedly blind.

Separated by mother, linked by father, 

But should I call you a sister of mine?

Backs stabbed, money borrowed, all for you to fall once more.

Always breaking, never fixing, soon you'll have no open doors.

Yes we discuss, yes we plan, but never in front of your face.

A dangerously spinning out-of-control hazard, but even now no one steps up to the plate.

You've created this fear in your family's hearts that has us all running away.

You just don't see that the life you live has everyone wanting to stray.

But you're so cocky and so full of pride.

You'll never admit you're wrong, though you know you live through lies

I'll never know all your issues and why you expect everyone else to solve them.

But I can read everyone's thoughts... they say "will she ever realize she's the problem?"

Reviews

[Trigorin]

Not bad. There's definitely a rough edge to this piece and there's obviously a great deal of emotion behind this, which you've presented fairly well. Some of your language choice seems a little odd and the whole thing strikes me as just maybe a tiny bit too conversational, but other than that, nicely done.

[John Cody Buck]

Thank you for your comments. Sometimes I do get a little conversational in my writing, but hey, everyone has their own way of writing. I do use uncommon language quite often too haha.