Clouded Bliss

You left behind a broken heart And happy memories too But I never wanted memories I only wanted You - Anonymous

You showed me the world could be so bright

But at the end of the night you stole my light

Give it back I need it to fight the demons

The only light that I had for a reason

You took what kept me oblivious

To a world that’s so insidious

My thoughts are in fragments

Making me stagnant

Truths are now lies

Lies end the highs

I hadn't known

Love ends
Alone

Author's Note

What could I have changed? What words would better describe these feelings?

Reviews

[YourMajesty2102]

You tore out my heart
just to start
By giving me sight
You stole my light
Your love was poison
so now I am left in corrosion
You brought the rain
You left a stain
Why did you lie
You made me cry
Now I know
I must go
By giving me life
you stabbed me with a knife
Because you cut me to the bone
and left me alone.


I enjoyed your Poem: this is just a suggestion to these emotions!

[Aubin]

Thank you for the sentences! I like "so now I am left in corrosion" that is very powerful!

[YourMajesty2102]

When I was writing you that I was thinking of one of my ex's... I finished it so go check it out! I added it to my page! It's called Destruction!

[Aubin]

I will check it out!

[Tai Ryens]

Structure is really fascinating but your phrasing could use some tweaking. One extra note, I absolutely admire the ending.

[Aubin]

The phrasing was the hardest part! I am definitely going to find other ways of expression. Thank you :)

[Kaa Na Kalyanasundaram]

Very nice and interest poem. Your wordings are superb. The presentation is so nice. Good.

[Aubin]

Thank you for your feedback :)

[Aubin]

Interesting poem! I liked it! The memories shall brighten your heart anyhow... You learned to move on, amazing presentation! E. L.

[Aubin]

Thank you for reading my poem! I hope to have your poetic ability in the future.

I'm just a tiny Dutchie with a heart for poetry dear one, I have to learn as much still too lol xo thanks and you're sooo welcome goodnight from Holland

[Aubin]

Goodnight :)

[...]

Good poem :) and I like the way you wrote it too. emphasizing it's effect

[Aubin]

Thank you :)