Fall

Take it as you see fit

At first it was so easy
So easy to just ignore the urges
Ignore the crawling up and down the flesh
Ignore the thoughts and voices that plagued sleep
It was so easy not to give in to the old ways
But even the strongest and most determined fall at some point
So many that have been disappointed this night
In a way that hurts even more
Even more than the pain that caused the fall
Or even the fall itself
The knowledge that loved ones have been let down
It strikes down even deeper
It makes it so the fall was nothing but a failure
No help
No relief
Nothing
Just a failure as the other falls had been
It had been so long since the last fall
So many other falls avoided by sheer determination
Determination not to disappoint the dear ones
But there was one in particular
A dear one that seemed to matter more than the rest
Knowing the fall let the dearest one down strikes hard and deep
Hurting worse than the demons and thoughts that plagued for so long
By disappointing this dear one
Pain has been caused
Unless of course it's wrong
And the dear ones in fact do not care
And are not disappointed at all
In that case what is there to be sorry for
But of course the dear ones care
It's more foolish to think that they don't
The real question is
How or when will they ever know
Or will it just be the dearest one to discover
They say that love will spawn forgiveness
What if love is only there on one part
But not the other
Is it a risk willing to take
The ones dear to the heart deserve to know
If not all
Then surely the dearest one at least
The one that kept away the fall for so long
The one that made it possible to avoid the fall so many times
Surely that one deserves more than anyone to know of the fall
Have faith in the dearest one
Believe that the demons are liars
And their one purpose is to deceive you
Believe in the love shown
Believe that it's true
Trust the faith
And trust the dearest one to forgive
There may have been a fall
But after every fall there must begin a rise
So rise from this fall
Rise and show the demons that their tricks won't work again
It was so long between this fall and the last
That much space can be made again
Don't be afraid to have faith
Hope may be painful
But in the end a little bit of hope is what heals
Stand up from this fall
And allow the dearest one to help
Things will get better
No matter what the storm can't last
Just hold out until the end
Then enjoy the gaze of the gorgeous rainbow
The sight signaling peace
The sight signaling the true end
The sight that signals all is truly okay
Hold on just a little longer
Please hold on
For the dear ones
For the dearest one