Shadows in The Dark

This is my first actual attempt at writing a horror story.

 
She ran as fast as she could but the pounding footsteps behind her grew louder. Heart racing, she dodges to the left, her feet skidding on the loose gravel below. A light appears in the distance. Maybe, just maybe if she can make it to that light, she will be able to escape the dark demon behind her. With hope of salvation, she increases her speed, but she is never quite fast enough. Even as she flies forward, the light is shrinking and creeping farther and farther away. Her muscles are shaking, on the edge of collapse, begging her to stop.

She risks a quick glance behind her. Her pursuer is closer than before, its massive panther-like shape hurtling toward her, its glittering green eyes transfixed on its prey.  The creature's snout curls into a menacing snarl, moonlight glistening off of razor sharp teeth. Her feet feel as if they are made of bricks and her legs no longer want to obey her urging to keep going.

She can feel the hot, heavy breath of the creature behind her as she involuntary begins to slow down. The light in the distance continues to shrink and, with a cry of despair, it disappears completely. Her legs give out and she plummets forward, her hands and knees striking the ground, waves of pain shooting up her limbs. She rolls over, hands out as her only defense. With a ferocious/vicious/savage/ravenous howl/yowl/wail, the creature leaps straight at her, a scream ripping from her throat.

Margaret bolts up in her bed, a scream on the tip of her tongue. Breathing heavily, she peers around wildly in search of the creature. As her eyes take in the dim moonlight peeking through her half-opened window and the red illumination of her alarm clock, her pounding heart slows. It was just a dream. She swings her legs out of the bed, her night shirt clinging to her back. While slipping her feet into her slippers, she pushes her damp hair out of her face.

After tiptoeing to the kitchen for a glass of water, Margaret climbs back into bed, calm enough to fall back asleep. Just as she is drifting off, Margaret becomes aware of a quiet but insistent tapping sound. Tap. Tap. Tap. She props herself up on her elbows and angles her head to hear better. The sound is coming from above, almost as if someone, or something, is roaming around on the roof. But that's silly, she tells herself. It's probably just squirrels or something. She listens for a little while longer and the noise suddenly stops. She flops back down, a light breeze fluttering through her window. As her eyes slowly close, she tries to remember when she opened her window that night. She's asleep before she comes up with an answer. 

A little while later, a hideous screeching, like nails on a chalkboard, jolts Margaret awake. She vaults/bolts upright, clutching her blanket to her chest. She peers around her pitch black room, confused and scared. Her head jerks towards the window where the sound is coming from. Perched on a branch outside is a large, dark shadow. Margaret leans forward and squints her eyes, trying to make out the shape. The figure whirls around and two blood red eyes pierce Margaret's. She wants to scream, to cry out for help but she can't. Frozen with fear, she watches, terrified and helpless, as the shadow moves closer to her window. It doesn't appear to be solid but rather shadow-like, almost as if it were made of smoke but moved as one entity.

Its smokey hand flickers through the screen of her window, pushing it open all the way. Its body drifts through the screen and into her room, all the while its eyes never leaving hers. Once in the room, it sticks near the walls, almost climbing over them. Margaret grips her blanket tighter, her hands turning white. The thing moves back and forth, as if circling its prey. It rises up to the ceiling and glides forward. Paralyzed with terror, Margaret can do nothing except follow the creature with her eyes, her heart hammering, watching as it comes closer and closer. Waves of a horrid stench come rolling of the creature, the smells of rotting corpses and death.

The figure moves even closer, trailing wisps of shadow on the ceiling behind it. It slowly sinks down towards Margaret, the smell invading every inch of her being, making her sick. As it sinks nearer, she trembles with sheer dread. The shadow lands softly on the bed in front of her, its arms on either side of her. It drags itself forward, those horrible bloody eyes only inches from hers. A gaping, jet-black hole appears in place of a mouth, exposing jagged yellow teeth and a stench even worse than before. A ghostly black tongue slithers out, flickering towards her face. It hovers just above her skin for what seems like eternity. With a quick dark, the tongue brushes her cheek, leaving behind agonizing pain and immense coldness. Margaret whimpers and trembles, wanting so badly to get away from this hideous devil/intruder, but she can't seem to tear her eyes away.

The ebony tongue recedes and the figures raises its ghostly hand. With a crushing strength, it grips Margaret's shoulder. She tries to recoil but is caught in its ice cold grasp. Its eyes come closer, seeking, inquiring, penetrating. Its mouth opens once again and lets out a ghastly screech. In a grating, wheezy voice it croaks, "No...not this one...not tonight." The shadowy hand withdraws and, still keeping her eye locked with its, drifts back towards the window. It passes through the screen, and, after giving one last horrific shriek, it dissipates into the night.

Margaret awakens to sun streaming through her window. In the brightness, where no shadow remains, there is no evidence that the events of last night truly transpired. Had it simply been a nightmare? Had she made the whole thing up? Or had it been real?

Later, in the bathroom mirror, Margaret finds the answer. She finds something to confirm/verify that the events of last night had undeniably happened. Something to remind her how lucky she was to not have been chosen. A single, blackened hand print on her shoulder where the shadow had grasped her.

Author's Note

I would love some general feedback. What do you think? Anything I should change?

Reviews

[PK Packard]

Very descriptive! I actually thought she would find some kind of mark on her cheek! I am amazed she could keep looking this creature in the eye.

[Stephe R. Seede]

Very suspenseful and well-written (Will there be a "Shadows in the Dark 2"?). Nice writing rookie, keep up the good work.