Home is where the heart feels it is. And hearts aren't too reasonable when it comes to what is really best at times. Home can be heaven and home can be hell, but even when the rose-colored glasses come off, our hearts can still be stuck, and in love with a "devil".
Great poem!
This started out very strong, a tidal wave of heartbroken imagery. I think there IS some room for improvement here. With one or two edits, this could become a very well formed poem, I see quite a bit of potential here...and it is already enough to pull you in and want you to read more.
The first four stanza's were going well, beautiful imagery and metaphor, I could understand what you were trying to evoke in the reader, the emotions and story that you were portraying...but after that its like you
trailed off...lost heart a bit and was just trying to end the poem.
I believe that once you are in the right mood, you could come back to this and make it a masterpiece.
This fifth stanza stood out for me, and so I will use this as an example...
"The ocean turned into a barrier
My screams drown out by waves
My paradise a prison
My dreams ran out of my heads panicked"
This could be written, if you so choose, like this
"The ocean became a barrier
My screams, drowned in the waves,
My paradise has become my prison
The dreams in my head, run away"
These are only suggestions, for creating an even greater piece. I apologize if you did not want these, but it was such a good piece that I had to recommend a little bit of editing, not much, mind you.
Nevertheless, beautiful, heart rendering, exceptional. I thoroughly enjoyed your writing. Thanks for sharing.
While I'm not too good at interpreting poems, I found this one gave me some powerful images. I have a place in my heart like this, and it hurts me to love it... So I think I can relate.
I like the description of a place that is wonderful and then turns into a place you would not want to be. Like a relationship great in the beginning and then when comfort sets in the parties true colours comes into play.
The truth of it all is nothing really changes but your view of a situation. The place didn't change, a person's perspective does... I really like this piece, it makes you think on so many levels, thanks for the share.
In the beginning, we see things one way and suddenly, reality sets in. Are we strong enough to break away? Some stay, knowing death is their end and some have strength to break that passive-aggressive hug. Love that stanza!
Oh my, how sometimes the places, people and things we love do trap us and we become ensnared. The suffocation of their embrace can silence our creative spirit, and steal away our joy.
Life is all about opposites, thus there would be no balance: love-hate, beauty and ugliness, ad infinitum.Home is where our heads are, but not, sometimes. Always there is balance, always balance. Keep up the good work, young man.