City at the End of The World

City at the End of The World

A Poem by Judas Hammer
"

Sometimes what you love will Kill you.

"

City at the End of the World

 

I was introduced to you

Two years least a decade

You showed me how beautiful the world was

I fell in love with you

You stroked me with your gentle breezes

Soft winds whispered siren songs in my ear

The sun warmed my face

You accepted me with open arms

I had never had a home

You opened your doors

 

The porthole to the Pacific

The end of the world as I see her

I walked your streets

Holding conversations with God

 

Something told me to leave you alone

It was my instincts

You made everything so easy

Everything so Golden

The beauty hypnotized me

I was the only one in the world

To see such things

 

I never knew you had a secret

The whispers were lies

The warm sun burned me

The walks turned to zombie like strolls

Instead of praying I begged

 

The ocean turned into a barrier

My screams drown out by waves

My paradise a prison

My dreams ran out of my heads panicked

 

I learned how to suffer

You taught me pain

I was too far to be saved

Like an abused lover I kept coming back

I defended you

I bought into the chamber of congress

Sales pitch

 

I witness a dark side

I saw what you did to the ones you loved

Love hurts

Your love kills

 

Well our time is done

I slapped your hands from my shoulders

I broke your passive aggressive hug

I hate you

I have too

Because I have too

You make me want to stay forever

If I stay

I will die

 

© 2012 Judas Hammer


Author's Note

Judas Hammer
Home is not home sometimes

My Review

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Featured Review

Home is where the heart feels it is. And hearts aren't too reasonable when it comes to what is really best at times. Home can be heaven and home can be hell, but even when the rose-colored glasses come off, our hearts can still be stuck, and in love with a "devil".
Great poem!

Posted 12 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

Judas Hammer

10 Years Ago

Thank you for the read.
Nath

10 Years Ago

You are very welcome! :-)



Reviews

This started out very strong, a tidal wave of heartbroken imagery. I think there IS some room for improvement here. With one or two edits, this could become a very well formed poem, I see quite a bit of potential here...and it is already enough to pull you in and want you to read more.
The first four stanza's were going well, beautiful imagery and metaphor, I could understand what you were trying to evoke in the reader, the emotions and story that you were portraying...but after that its like you
trailed off...lost heart a bit and was just trying to end the poem.

I believe that once you are in the right mood, you could come back to this and make it a masterpiece.

This fifth stanza stood out for me, and so I will use this as an example...

"The ocean turned into a barrier
My screams drown out by waves
My paradise a prison
My dreams ran out of my heads panicked"

This could be written, if you so choose, like this

"The ocean became a barrier
My screams, drowned in the waves,
My paradise has become my prison
The dreams in my head, run away"

These are only suggestions, for creating an even greater piece. I apologize if you did not want these, but it was such a good piece that I had to recommend a little bit of editing, not much, mind you.
Nevertheless, beautiful, heart rendering, exceptional. I thoroughly enjoyed your writing. Thanks for sharing.



Posted 12 Years Ago


While I'm not too good at interpreting poems, I found this one gave me some powerful images. I have a place in my heart like this, and it hurts me to love it... So I think I can relate.

Posted 12 Years Ago


"Holding conversations with God"... Love it.

Posted 12 Years Ago


A distant look into a world we all want to know.

Posted 12 Years Ago


A peek under the rug....

Posted 12 Years Ago


I like the description of a place that is wonderful and then turns into a place you would not want to be. Like a relationship great in the beginning and then when comfort sets in the parties true colours comes into play.

The truth of it all is nothing really changes but your view of a situation. The place didn't change, a person's perspective does... I really like this piece, it makes you think on so many levels, thanks for the share.

Posted 12 Years Ago


In the beginning, we see things one way and suddenly, reality sets in. Are we strong enough to break away? Some stay, knowing death is their end and some have strength to break that passive-aggressive hug. Love that stanza!

Posted 12 Years Ago


yet we are appreciative of the suffering and pain that comes from love.
powerful ideas and words. thank you for the write.

Posted 12 Years Ago


Oh my, how sometimes the places, people and things we love do trap us and we become ensnared. The suffocation of their embrace can silence our creative spirit, and steal away our joy.

Posted 12 Years Ago


Life is all about opposites, thus there would be no balance: love-hate, beauty and ugliness, ad infinitum.Home is where our heads are, but not, sometimes. Always there is balance, always balance. Keep up the good work, young man.

Posted 12 Years Ago



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Added on June 13, 2012
Last Updated on June 13, 2012

Author

Judas Hammer
Judas Hammer

The City of Angeles, CA



About
I like to write, live in La and write and make short films. and more..

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