A Counter in Van Nuys on Christmas Eve

Christmas Eve alone in the Valley. I spent it at a Norms cafe, writing poerty, my escape from the solitude of the holidays.....

A Counter in Van Nuys on Christmas Eve

 

 

I am a galactic warrior

Screaming Coptic Christian tunes

From the alleys of Istanbul

 

I am the immortal traveler

Chanting short prose on top

Of oak table in Scotland

 

I am the hesitant peacemaker

Yelling rally cries

From the skies above

Addis Abba, hoping the hopeless

Get the message

 

I am the shotgun kid

Giving warning shots

At the border of Arizona

Saying Ellis Island is closed

 

I ride in a modern wagon train

I hang glide with the skins of the opulent

I no longer see the world as round

It’s flat like the ancients said

Man can only see his own side

 

Even in moments of happiness

And those moments are fleeting

You whisper softly

In my naked ears

Self-loathing and hate

I want to laugh on the outside

I am terrorized on the inside

I want to scream

Yet I laugh

I giggle like a fool.

 

The world moved in slow motion

My eyes barely open

I can’t feel my face

Again I hear whispers of shortcomings

I laugh

Yet I kiss you again.

 

I am a gypsy

Aimless traveler chasing a vision

That stays planted in my head

Since the days of my youth

On the swing set

In that yard

At that house

In that state

That state of mind

Where fantasy wrestles reality to a stand still

And throws us on our fragile spines

 

I fight for my freedom

Seems like destiny has another idea

 

I stroll in parks

Recline in coffee shops

And avoid dive bars

As I continue on my-California dream

 

 

Author's Note

Comment welcome...

Reviews

[LinBin]

A WELL PRODUCED PIECE OF WRITING, EXPERTLY DONE

[Shy Girl]

This poem sounds as though you are speaking of multiple roles in movies, each summed up in individual stanzas. I really enjoyed reading this piece. Taking us to times in history to a few modern escapes as well. That may not be the direction you were going but it had me thinking of cinema, or theatrical works though out the years. This was very nice and strongly worded. Thanks for sharing. Always enjoy your writings. =)

[Ursula Kay Vos]

the peek inside to thoughts at the end is subltle, very nice. You took me as the reader on a trip around the world and through time.

[M Garcia]

loved this

[Lily Mae]

I loved this because I got lost inside your journey and adventures..not just your thoughts.. nicely done.. :) xx

[LScottD]

Good write. I find myself wondering if the one whispering self loathing and hate into your ears is another....or yourself. Perhaps or maybe I am self reflecting. I also dig the idea of chasing a vision planted in your head since the days of your youth...too damn bad that as some of us get older reality seems to beat fantasy out in the wrestling match...but I digress. Anyway I enjoyed it.

[EMF]

For what begins like a rage against the peaceful it flips into reality so sharrpl and to bring you up with a start. Sheer class my friend, to snap back with such force as to dra us all in and make us read again. A wonderful piece and it can't help but cause reflection from most of us as to moments in our own life. The wordplay is meticulously handled and structured to make reading it out load a sheer delight. The rage within it builds up inside you as you read that you'r ready for a rest come the end. A thoroughly wonderful exeprience. Thank you for posting it.

[Greg the Bard]

I'm a bit late in coming? Sorry. I found this very easy to read and the flow is wonderful. It reminds me of an Ode that is just getting started and then for no reason stops.I love the images. I did not find it as others have "insane". It could use some imbellishment in places but like "Poco Harimun" leds me as the reader into many thoughts that make me smile. You may be to young for "Poco Harimun" but give a listen to their music "Knighrts in White Satain" and you will get the jest of my thinking. Great Write.

[Alskar]

This is insane, in a very, very good way. There's so much going on here that as a whole it's hard to follow, but I love that. It's a whole bunch of different elements and settings and feelings crammed together, but it reads to me like a very fun, cool dream, which makes it acceptable. I mean, Istanbul to Scotland to Arizona? This clearly isn't a piece of realism. This was like a truly fun adventure through someones dreams, and the highlight of the galactic warrior at the beginning immediately sets up the dream aspect. I enjoyed this piece a lot.

[K.C. Zbryk]

Brilliantly penned, and the intro was amazing. I personally like the twist that this took halfway through and i think it makes the poem unique, and it almost feels like you documented a wandering thought. A very unique and introspective thought. I dont think you should change anything.