Departure

Iced veins forcing a shudder

Core contracted, sense extracted

I can't feel you and I'm petrified

Rusted chains weighing down

Mirror shattered, robes are tattered

You don't want this and I understand

Spectral whispers fill the air

Wretched sighs, bleeding eyes

You can't save me and I'm gone

Reviews

[Nisreen]

Seems like something quite complicated
Is it that things have ended
Or have you given up
Or has she let go
Or are things about to start all over again

Relationships
Can't live with them
Can't live without them ;)

The confusion is part of the thrill sometimes
Or more than often

[Cobblestone Traveler]

Thank you for your review. I'm happy it can be interpreted so many ways. :)

[Davidgeo]

Oh yeah... it's a little creepy by the way.

[Cobblestone Traveler]

Thanks, I'm feeling dark tonight.

[Davidgeo]

On a Friday even? I once had a co worker who used to say " I feel like making ghost's tonight"
read moreOn a Friday even? I once had a co worker who used to say " I feel like making ghost's tonight"

He was later fired from the pet store.

Turned out... bloke was a sex offender.

And he was bugerrin the ferrets at night... (sexually) They never got pregnant... I don't think. I got fired fer drinkin ale on the job soon after. Never thought ta ask about the raped ferrets after.

Poor dears.

[Davidgeo]

You tink I don't know 'bout the "read more"? Sonny ya got anotha thing coming ya dirty b*****d.... "
He was later fired from the pet store.

Turned out... bloke was a sex offender.

And he was bugerrin the ferrets at night... (sexually) They never got pregnant... I don't think. I got fired fer drinkin ale on the job soon after. Never thought ta ask about the raped ferrets after.

Poor dears."

I live on Mackinac Island.... we don't even allow cars. I'm the creepiest son of a b***h you'll never meet. Eat my a*s salad, dick face.

[Davidgeo]

That was the best review I've ever given.

[Cobblestone Traveler]

Quite a handful of things to address, but first:
-Especially on a Friday. Can release the soul from its taut restrictions of the workweek.
-The "read more" broke my brain for a second.
-Not sure where his quote ends and your commentary begins. But the mystery is amusing.
-A*s salad made my night.

[Davidgeo]

A good night is usually made by a fine a*s salad. I've already forgotten what I meant. Lets just call this an after birth and say hallelujah.... (I cant belive I knew how to spell hallelujah....)

[Davidgeo]

Your lines in italics stand alone quite well. To me, this is a three line poem with some other s**t. A very f*****g good one at that.

[Cobblestone Traveler]

Thank you; I'm pleased you thought it was f*****g good.

[Davidgeo]

F**k yeah!!

[Davidgeo]

(three lines.... )