Crimson Petals

Hope prevails through the worst of circumstances.

Crimson petals forced to fall
Torn, rather, to their death
No longer could the water nurse
Or cradle them with breath

(When will the torment end?...)

A chortle is coherent now
As blood begins to drain
For Separation cannot help
But laugh at so much pain

(...Perhaps she'll soon let alone)

Each petal is potential joy
A memory of the soul
That's never granted time to form;
She rips it from the whole

(Cannot our thorns retaliate?...)

Her fingers stained with hindered love
As dry emerald eyes burn
She can't perceive how, through the woe
Its love proceeds to churn

(...Then the blood would be her own)

Why (We)
won't (will)
it (not)
die? (die.)

Reviews

[Nisreen]

In love
And matters of the heart
It's the worst moments that set the pace
Some drift apart. Tearing the flower
Other just remind one another of its existence
Cherishing everything even the pain

I guess people love in different ways

Only the truly loving
Carry hope

Well done

[Cobblestone Traveler]

Thank you so much. I'm glad you enjoyed it.

[GalaxyGhost]

Their is pain and yet hope in this beautiful poem!

[Cobblestone Traveler]

I'm happy you find it beautiful. Much appreciated!

[Rose]

Your style is breathtakingly beautiful, as is this entire poem. I especially love what you did with the last four lines; so creative and inspiring.

[Cobblestone Traveler]

Thank you so much for your kind words! I am so glad you enjoyed it.

[Lupus Kaos]

Although I think it is a poem filled with hope, I cannot hold myself from asking: since roses die faster as each petal drops, and this only results to death in the end, would it not be more accurate to say eg we will be reborn instead of not die? or something similar? I just want to understand the whole picture you had there.

[Cobblestone Traveler]

Thanks so much for your review. You have a good point. Separation is an entity in this case, slowly plucking the petals one by one and laughing, relishing in the fact that the woman cannot be with her love. But she doesn't understand why the two people torn apart are still strongly in love and she even becomes jealous of the bond(emerald eyes burning). It's more like she's asking why is the rose taking so long to die. The man and woman fight and retaliate against Separation. Whether they will actually die in the end is not the message I was trying to portray. Simply the fight.
You gave me great food for thought!

[Lorraine Montez]

Your style is great! Impeccable rhythm. Bright imagery! ("Her fingers stained with hindered love.") And love your clever off-thoughts in the parens, especially the end.

[Cobblestone Traveler]

Thank you so much for your kind words. I'm glad you liked it!

[Lorraine Montez]

Very much so! I look forward to exploring more of your work. -Rain