Astral Travels

Written by A Lazy Writer

























 CONTENT



Chapter One
 - Food -

(verse 1) Deep Fried Marathon
(verse 2) A Need For Greed In The Face Of Abundance
(verse 3) Yellow And Brown Swirly Chocolate Pie And Custard



Chapter Two
 - Care Support Working -

(verse 4) Arti Intel The Care Support Worker
(verse 5) Looking after the vulnerables
(verse 6) The Visit
(verse 7) What Did He Reply?



Chapter Three
 - Holiday Vacation -

(verse 8) Dream Logic
(verse 9) Inspired
(verse 10) The Cockles Of His Heart



Chapter Four
 - Criminal Behaviour -

(verse 11) Taking Cover
(verse 12) The Scene
(verse 13) 'This Geezer'


Chapter Five
- Astral, Family And Friend -

(verse 14) Reluctant
(verse 15) Met Het Yet?
(verse 16) Grow Up!
(verse 17) Neighbourhood Watch
(verse 18) Screams And Dreams Witin Dreams
(verse 19) What?
(verse 20) Tested
(verse 21) An Orgy And Family Fun



Chapter Six
- Astral Thoughts -

(verse 22) Old School
(verse 23) Talking Is Incorrect
(verse 24) Tiny Planet
(verse 25) Inductive Reason Is Not Proof
(verse 26) 'Fold It'



Chapter Seven
- Unwanted Musician -

(verse 27) Positions Please
(verse 28) Back In The Warehouse
(verse 29) There Was Only Distain
(verse 30) That, That Is Within The Delivery
(verse 31) Wake Up!



Chapter Eight
- Down In The Toilet -

(verse 32) This Crap Job
(verse 33) Oi! Fart Arse!



Chapter Nine
- Off Track -
 
(verse 34) Terms And Conditions
(verse 35) Arti Intel Goes Rouge



Chapter Ten
- The Asian Aspect -

(verse 36) The Piss Take
(verse 37) Manipulation
(verse 38) Public Transport



Chapter Eleven
- Presentations -

(verse 39) Presenting himself
(verse 40) Remember Roy Castle?



Chapter Twelve
- Other Consciousness -

(verse 41) Dog Fish
(verse 42) A Ghostly Appearance
(verse 43) The Technician  
(44) Shifting Realities



Chapter Thirteen
- I'm Happy And I Know It -

(verse 45) Roll Up, Roll Up
(verse 46) The Book Of Life
(verse 47) Women Who Orginise
(verse 48) Astrals Dream Girl














Chapter One - Food

(verse 1) Deep Fried Marathon
(verse 2) A Need For Greed In The Face Of Abundance
(verse 3) Yellow And Brown Swirly Chocolate Pie And Custard



(verse 1) Deep Fried Marathon

Astral was with his friend Muhammad at the pavilion. They were going out on a motorcycle. Astral was going pillion, but before they did they had to take the panions off, then this old lady called them. Muhammad had been quizing this lady previously. She showed them a fancy twenty pence piece with colourful enscriptions on it and Astral asked her if she had seen the new plastic five pound note. So Muhammad was asking this old lady some questions and she was interested to answer. Astral was fascinated by her hair and the way that it had been cut. It had been cut really short at the back, but there were small fuzzy dots within this really short hair at the back and sides and the rest of her hair was longish and a dark brown in colour. Astral was doing some deep fried cooking outside. Some other people had set it all up. Astral was very conscious of those people around him. He was concerned that he would get in their way as he was putting all sorts of food in the deep fat fryer, but he could not find all the utensils that he needed, so Astral was running about trying to find these utensils. It was like a marathon where every so often there were tables set up, but instead of cups of water they had food and deep fat fryers on them. There was a tray full of dough for making pizza afterwards, for when they had done with the deep fat frying. So when Astral did finally find the utensils and some plates and he had got back to the deep fat fryer, the food that Astral had put into the deep fat fryer had been taken out and there was no trace of the food anywhere.

Astral Could remember that there used to be a chocolate bar called a 'Marathon' before the name was changed to a 'Snicker.' If you took a chocolate bar like this into your local fish and chip shop then they would batter it and deep fat fry it for you. This was probably the fattiest and most unhealthiest meal that Astral could imagine.


(verse 2) A Need For Greed In The Face Of Abundance

Dreaming of an abundance of words, the abundance of words was represented by the word 'all', which sat on the top of a pile of other words and these words became a slice of bread. So Astral ate the slice of bread and the problem was solved.


(verse 3) Yellow And Brown Swirly Chocolate Pie And Custard

It was a quiz on food. You had to answer the question in two parts. If you got the questions right, you got the food. Astral had his eye on a yellow and brown swirly chocolate pie And custard. There was a black lad and Astral was being polite. He was wondering did the black lad want the pudding? Astral smiled at him as he made his way to hold the silvery spoon in the yellow and brown swirly chocolate pie And custard. The black lad was okay with Astral and so he was thinking that it would be okay for him to have this pudding, but then Astral had to disappear before he could get a chance to eat it.





Chapter Two - Care Support Working

(verse 4) Arti Intel The Care Support Worker
(verse 5) Looking after the vulnerables
(verse 6) The Visit
(verse 7) What Did He Reply?



(verse 4) Arti Intel The Care Support Worker

Astral was back in his old job looking after people who had challenging behaviour. He was spending all his time stopping a female client from scratching people and himself with her nails. The other staff were mostly leaving it to Astral to deal with her. He met another staff member who he had not seen for a long time, but she looked different to how she used to look. She had become much calmer, more distant. He looked into her eyes as she was helping him to restrain this lady. He wondered if she still recognised him, but she was cool and unreadable.


(verse 5) Looking after the vulnerables

Astral was traveling with a group of people. Some of these people were care support workers and some of these people were their service user clients. They were discretely discussing how their service user clients were getting on and some of the difficulties that they were facing. So as the care support workers were sharing their concerns for their service user clients. It was all a bit vague, but there was another female care support worker who Astral was talking to and they were talking about somewhere called Liverplace, not Liverpool but Liverplace. This all appears bland now because the sublties of their discussions have been lost in the vauguity of Astrals recall.


(verse 6) The Visit

Astral went away with his old work friend Muhammad. Muhammad took Astral for a spin in his car at very high speed. They checked into a hotel and went to their separate rooms. Astral left his card in a machine reader in his room and the staff behind the desk reminded Astral to take out his card and he thanked the lady for reminding him. The hotel then became more hospitaly. It became clinical. Astrals mum and his sister were there. Astrals sister was relying on her mum and she was telling her mum how helpful she was, just by being there. Astral was getting bored just listening to their conversations so he decided to go off. So he walked away and in this clinical setting there was a lad in a wheelchair who Astral had gone to visit, although he did not know who this lad was? This lad was messing around strapping Astral up with straps from the his wheelchair. Astral was going along with this knowing that he could easily get out of it, but then the lad in the wheelchair suddenly seemed to have a seisure. Astral called staff. A male nurse came rushing over, then the lad in the wheelchair miraculously became okay again and Astral let him out through a door into the next room. Astral asked him, are you allowed in this room and the lad in the wheelchair reassured him, but Astral was not too sure about this so on leaving the ward Astral told the male nurse what he had done and the nurse said that that was okay. Astral went outside, it was nice and sunny. There was a school next door and behind a very high brick wall you could see a fountain shooting up behind the wall. Astral had a packet of cigarettes in his hand and he was struggling to get into the packet, because he had opened them up upside down, or so he thought, but then the cigarettes were the right way up, but the silver foil was folded over them, so they had been packed wrong. Then Astral pulled out a skinny roll up that he had put in there previously. He thought as he pulled it out 'I don't know why I have saved that in there because I will not want to smoke it.' So then he pulled out a filter cigarette and he was smoking that. Suddenly over the wall where the school was these fountain spouts started to act strange. There was a massive pressure of water and it came out like a water cannon high up into the air. Suddenly there was a rumble and someone shouted out, "What's that!" and as Astral looked into the distance there was a massive tidal wave. Astral thought 'that's a tsunami' and someone said, "We are living in strange times." At first Astral was concerned with his safety but then he became more relaxed and carried on enjoying his cigarette and as he looked out into the distance the wave became iridescent. It was blurring into rainbow colours. It was a very impressive sight. Later it started snowing and Astral watched the flakes of snow gently descend to the ground as he carried on smoking his cigarette. The distant view had become grey.


(verse 7) What Did He Reply?

Astral wasn't fully asleep but in his dreaminess he was cycling down a road and he passed these people coming the opposite way. One of them said, "Hey! watch it, he is liable to lash out, he will direct it" and this man demonstrated this in slow motion with his own fist up to his own jaw line. Astral got the sense that this man was more of a correctional officer than a care support worker and this man had five dodgy people with him. There was a tall man to the right of the correctional officer and he looked like he might be autistic. This was the man that Astral was warned about and the man that Astral had cycled closest to from the opposite direction. There was another man to the left of the correctional officer and three more in a wheelchair being pushed along. They were all sat in a row. One in the front, one in the middle and one at the back. By this time Astral had cycled past and he was looking back. Astral said to the correctional officer, "They make you work don't they?" The correctional officers reply was incoherent and Astral was trying to understand what had just been said when ...





Chapter Three - Holiday Vacation
 
(verse 8) Dream Logic
(verse 9) Inspired
(verse 10) The Cockles Of His Heart


(verse 8) Dream Logic

Astral was meditating on a sandy beach by the sea and as he did so he tried to work out how long he had meditated for. Through a diagonal lattice, in his minds eye Astral could see if he had meditated for an odd number of days or an even number of days and to see if he had meditated for an odd number of nights or an even number of nights. The diagonal lattice was a map of linear and non linear timelines and so in his meditative state he did his subconscious calculations.


(verse 9) Inspired

Astral was dreaming about the sunny foreign beach as a relaxing piano jazz song. Muhammad was there, the god like womanizer, cool dude. Astral was determined to get to the sandy sunny beach as he checked out of this building with a circular doorway entrance. He made sure that he was on that dream beach and enjoying the sunshine freedom of his travel. Astral then made his way back to the large building. He came back through a different entrance. Two privileged people got in Astrals way briefly as they walked across his path in front of him to get to a table and sit down resting their baggage. Astral had witnessed Muhammad the god like womanizer, casually and cooly socializing on the beach. 'So why could I not be that cool?' Astral thought to himself as he made his modest way in comparison to Muhammad. Muhammad was truly an inspiration.


(verse 10) The Cockles Of His Heart

Astral had his little white tub of cockles as he drove up in his massive motor home. He made a wrong turn, looking back he could see the arrow pointing to the double doors that he should have driven through, but he carried on driving on a pedestrian way. There were signs and symbols and arrows pointing here there and everyway as he drove ever higher up the green slopes. As he found himself and his motor home in the highest room in the house. Astral had a problem though. There was only parking for the disabled. He looked around and all the parking spaces had disabled symbols in them. He took his sealed white round tub of cockles out of his pocket and place them on a table in the room before descending the steep decline in his motor home down the green ramps. Astral was aware of a large group of pedestrians outside the building. So as he descends the steepness of the decline, it was a bit overwhelming for him, and so cautiously he slowly managed to manouver his huge motor home, his massive motor down these green cliff like ramps. Astral had a knowing that he would meet the pedestrians ascending as he made his descent. He also knew that they would be going up into the room where he had left his cockles. 'I should really have put those cockles in the fridge and here I am driving down a pedestrian way.' These were his thoughts and he was unsure of himself.




Chapter Four - Criminal Behaviour  
 
(verse 11) Taking Cover
(verse 12) The Scene
(verse 13) 'This Geezer'


(verse 11) Taking Cover

Astral could hear noisy aircraft so he was hiding out from the aircraft as a voice in his head said, "Do you think that they cannot get you from there?" Astral hid a little better and the voice in his head said, "Good." It looked like it was a helicopter. Cream in colour as Astral saw it briefly between two buildings in the distance.


(verse 12)  The Scene

People wanted to know details about a bridge and the police force who were represented by this man with a megaphone, was shouting out the details. People came rushing to get the details, but only the first person to arrive got the details, 'because people wanted to know.' But on giving the details across they were fumbled and the details tumbled and the people were unhappy as to how the details were handled. Astral was on the bridge during the whole time. It was a pedestrian bridge with ramps either side. What the bridge was going over is a bit unclear as it was foggy, but Astral thought that it might have been a river? This is probably one of the details mishandled by the police. Astral was an observer in this scene. He was not the police and he was not the public rushing forward for details. It was a young lad about twenty years old who arrived at the police first followed by some women. The fumbling between the lad and the police was represented by a square which was about an inch square and as it tumbled, it tumbled down through a model of the foot bridge. It was clear to see in the publics eyes that they were annoyed. It was a silent disgust aimed at the police through the eyes of the public who were indignant. As with so many other details there was much more to this story that has been unremembered. what has led up to this scene has been unremembered?



(verse 13) 'This Geezer'

They were having a bit of banter 'This Geezer' and Astral. 'This Geezer' had thick dark side burns and a dark mustache and spoke in a gruff voice. They were slowly chasing each other in old fashioned gangster cars and coming up with catch phrases. 'This Geezer' came up with "Don't chase me round again" and Astral came up with "Don't say those words again." There were others there too who were also involved. It all came to a head when 'This Geezer', who Astral had never met before, pranged his car. The next thing Astral noticed was that the pavement was opening up and 'This Geezer' drove himself and his car under his own house. Astral watched in detail as the pavement closed back up and sealed back up with 'This Geezers' six foot high house wall. With that Astral looked around to find that he was on his own, everyone has gone.





Chapter Five - Astral, Family And Friend  

(verse 14) Reluctant
(verse 15) Met Het Yet?
(verse 16) Grow Up!
(verse 17) Neighbourhood Watch
(verse 18) Screams And Dreams Within Dreams
(verse 19) What?
(verse 20) Tested
(verse 21) An Orgy And Family Fun



(verse 14) Reluctant

Astral was put into a position where he had to look after a baby. The parents just went off without taking their baby and he was left with this baby in the street. Astral could not just leave the baby. Somehow he found himself in someones house and these people were fussing the baby. Astral felt guilty that he had not looked after the baby properly. Astral had a melt down and exclaimed, "I can't look after the baby I'm only 12! Not really I'm 35." The people laughed at Astral and he retorted, "I need to get the police. Does anyone know whose baby this is?" But nobody knew the parents of the baby.



(verse 15) Met Het Yet?

Astrals sister said, "I was talking to Hetty Hothead yesterday and I said to her, you are the drama queen and she said, "Oh no I'm not the drama queen, thank you."" Astrals sister was talking to Astral on the phone which was different, because they had just been talking face to face in the previous instance. This was also unusual because Astrals sister does not know Hetty Hothead, as Hetty Hothead is Astrals ex girlfriends friend. Astrals sister has never met Hetty Hothead as they live sixty miles away from each other and they are in very different social circles. Previously before the telephone call, Astrals memory had gone vague, but he did remember that there was Muhammad and Astrals sisters husband there. Astral thought that Muhammad and he were talking about music? Astral was not too sure about that though.



(verse 16) Grow Up!

It was like Astral was in a discussion group. There were three of them. Astral, Astrals dad and some chap who was saying that the lyrics of old songs are better. They were also talking about how bad it was to play practical jokes on fathers' day. As they were talking Astral had made a model out of nails and he was playing with it. Moving it around with his hands like a child would to animate it and he was saying, "Exterminate, exterminate." Like a Dalek from Dr Who. Astral thought to himself 'I'm being childish' and so Astral casually threw the model of nails to the ground. There was more to this discussion group, but this last scene is all that Astral can remember after searching his mind for a little while. Astral thought  that the premise of the discussion group was that things had not progressed for the better, which was a case in point about practical jokes on fathers' day and that the lyrics to songs were much better written than the lyrics of the new songs that we get now.



(verse 17) Neighbourhood Watch

Astral had the feeling that he was living on a caravan site and he was playing his guitar. He noticed that there was someone, down hill across the way. Astral thought, 'I hope that I am not disturbing the neighbours with my guitar playing.' The next thing he knows the neighbour is showing him his rifle and it is fixed to a stand and the neighbour is demonstrating to Astral how the rifle and stand works. His neighbour is leaning on his rifle and stand whilst aiming to fire, but he is aiming in all directions quickly as if there are moving targets. Astral liked to go out with his guitar in a cloth case that he strapped to his back and so Astral was thinking, 'I bet he thinks that it is a fishing rod and that I go fishing.' So Astral explained to his neighbour that he does not go fishing, but that he likes to go down by the river to play his guitar. So then Astral was looking for a guitar amp. He had the choice of two amps, he chose the smaller one. His neighbour said, "That's a small amp." and Astral said, "Yes, It's a practice amp." Astral noticed that the plug was broken. It did not have the copper earth pin in it. So Astral was looking for another plug to fix this one and he noticed another plug without an earth pin in it. He was thinking, 'Why are all these plugs without earth pins?' So then they just hung out and listened to music and had a chat before his neighbours children came. On their arrival his neighbour said that he would have to go. Astral did not know who this man was. He remembered his personality and what he looked like, but he did not know him. He did not recognise him from anywhere. When they were chatting Astral was explaining how he was not working. Astral was trying to find some common ground. Astral asked his neighbour "what sort of music do you like?" His neighbour didn't quite hear Astral with the music on. The neighbour asked Astral, "What did you say?", but Astral did not repeat himself. He got the impression that his neighbour was more into hunting and fishing. Astral was living on his own so it was good to have a short casual chat with a neighbour that he had not met before.



(verse 18) Screams And Dreams Witin Dreams

Astral was asleep and in his sleep he was dreaming that he was asleep dreaming. In that dream Astral was consciously trying to be happy by singing in his sleep. He was singing so that the darkness could not get to him. This was a lucid dream because in his sleep he knew that he was asleep and he was concerned that he might be singing in the waking world whilst he was singing in his sleep. Astral imagined that he was loud and noisily disturbing the household as he was sleeping, then there was a short scream from the bedroom next door. It was Astrals sister, Astral thought, 'that is not the first time that she has screamed. I wonder if she is having a nightmare or maybe she can hear my singing and I am disturbing her?' Astral was singing a song that he had made up in the moment: 'Forever Is Where I Go Now.' There was a chill down Astrals spine as he woke up. Astral thought that he was in his old bedroom, waking up in his old bed from twenty years ago. Astral was looking around to get orientated when he woke up in his real bed. There were chills still going down his spine as he started to recall what had just happened. He was hoping that his sister was okay.



(verse 19) What?

Astrals ex partner and her sister were looking for each other to become water sisters?



(verse 20) Tested

Astral was lamenting how spiritually undeveloped he was, but then he had the idea that he was limitated and that maybe it was not as bad as he first thought. Astral was sat on a bus next to his ex partners sister and his ex partner was there too. They were testing their blood and there was a trace of a drop of blood. Astrals ex partner said, "Yes, that's how it goes." They pricked their thumbs and that's how they were testing to see if a drop of blood showed up in a black tray that looked a bit like an egg box with its individual compartments. At the bottom of these individual compartments was where they looked to see if they could see a drop of blood and in one of these compartments there was a drop of blood.



(verse 21) An Orgy And Family Fun

Astral met his cousin and he gave her a kiss and they talked whilst he went to bed. His cousin was sat on the end of Astrals bed whilst they were talking just as an unknown girl joined him in his bed. She was playing with him and they were having fun. There were other people there, many other people noisily having fun, laughing and screaming it was an orgy of fun ...

... Astral had travelled and there was himself, his sister and his dad. Astrals sister said, "Astral's brown. I bet he's as brown as you dad, yes he is." as she took a closer look.

Although there was nothing untoward going on here. Astral realised that orgy and family fun made dodgy bed fellows.





Chapter Six - Astral Thoughts

(verse 22) Old School
(verse 23) Talking Is Incorrect
(verse 24) Tiny Planet
(verse 25) Inductive Reason Is Not Proof
(verse 26) 'Fold It'


(verse 22) Old School

Astral was sitting a test in class and he had written many paragraphs before handing it in. Later in the class as the tutor was marking the tests he held up Astrals test and said whilst laughing "You know you are very lucky with this one." Astral knew what he meant because he had written in a style that was so genric that it only answered the test in a very superficial way. Astral was wondering if he would get away with it, but then he thought to himself, 'Well that IS my style of writing.'



(verse 23) Talking Is Incorrect  

x plus x equals talking. He went crazy writing on Astral stabbing him with his pen. Astral was with a lady and she was surprised at what he did to Astral, but that is what you get when you do mathematics with challeging behaviour.



(verse 24) Tiny Planet

There was a pea on a spherical octahedron walking around on it like it was a tiny planet. Astral thought that the pea was reading a news paper, but on further inspection he realised that it was a map of equilateral triangles each of which had a different colour that corresponded to the triangles on the spherical octahedron that the pea was walking on. This tiny planet was infinitly large because it could rotated with any infinite number of degrees and so it had a dark side that the pea could never walk to.



(verse 25) Inductive Reason Is Not Proof

Astral had been talking to extra terrestrials. They were Pleiadian and he could only remember a problem that he was given. The Pleiadians just said, "Create 28 from 47?" Astral soon came up with (2^2)((2^3)-1) = 4 x 7 = 28 and the answer was perfect. After a little more thought Astral decided that (2^(P-1))((2^P)-1) is always perfect if P is a prime number, but he did not know how to prove it.



(verse 26) 'Fold It'

Astral was in a group of people beings called 'number beings', just a 'fold it.' The collective noun for number beings. Astral could be any number, just like he could be any number base in which to work from.





Chapter Seven - Unwanted Musician

(verse 27) Positions Please
(verse 28) Back In The Warehouse
(verse 29) There Was Only Distain
(verse 30) That, That Is Within The Delivery
(verse 31) Wake Up!


(verse 27) Positions Please

Astral had a double bass and he was really trying to play the double bass nicely. He was thinking that he was playing okay. It was in a big hall full of people. There were a lot of Chinese people there. The double bass had holes in it to sing through about an inch, or two and a half centimeters in diameter. So as Astral was playing his double bass, he was not confident and there were some youngsters who were laughing at him and his playing of the double bass. Next thing there was an activity. Astral had never heard anyone say anything to him, he just knew that he had to assemble with some of the other people in the hall. Astral was walking across the hall with his double bass and as he was assembling with the other people he realized that he was the only one with a double bass. It was then that Astral realised that they were all meeting up to sing. They were supposed to sing through these holes. So Astral clumsily rested his double bass by the wall under the window and then he finally got himself into place.



(verse 28) Back In The Warehouse

Two of Astrals friends were round and they were talking music and playing guitar. Astral asked one of his friends "What can you play?" As his friend had his acoustic guitar with him and he was strumming a little. Astrals other friend said "Send me your email when you are in Germany and we will send you some of our stuff that we do." Astral said okay and he went off and he was walking out, it was a warehouse. Astral passed someone else who had just walked into the warehouse. Astral aknowledged him, but he did not know him. Astral was just going to walk out the building when he thought 'I've forgotten my guitar.' Astral was going back for his guitar and the man who Astral aknowledeged earlier was opening up some shutters. The shutters were operated by chains and the chains hung down to the ground and as the chains were being pulled down, the shutters were being lifted up vertically.



(verse 29) There Was Only Distain

Astral was complaining that there was nowhere private anywhere for him to play his accoustic guitar. There was a lad from Astrals last place of work. Astral was in some kind of stadium. He was guessing that it was for horse racing. There were some dodgy people there and Astral was not confident to play his guitar there. When Astral was talking to the lad who Astral used to work with, it was like a battle. The lad who Astral used to work with didn't seem to believe what Astral told him. He was quite negative in his conversation and yet Astral cannot remember any specific details about what they spoke about. There was an air of mistrust, mainly because of those people in the background that Astral was aware of, but who never approached him. Earlier on in this episode there was a female who Astral was shunned by, but it was all very vague and Astral couldn't recollect it. This episode was a very negative episode. Everyone in this episode was negative. Even those people in the background who did not speak were watching Astral from a distance in a suspicious way. Astral was trying to win them over with his talk and his guitar playing. Astral was playing the best stuff that he knew on guitar. He was singing the best songs he knew. He was choosing his words carefully when he spoke to people, but the people were not on his side. At first Astral didn't see it. Nothing negative registered with him, but then after a while, slowly little snip bits of this episode came together like a jigsaw puzzle, but with many pieces missing.


(verse 30) That, That Is Within The Delivery

The post woman was out doing her rounds. Astral greeted her and put his arm around her. She had a base ball bat and a base ball with her. She threw them both up into the air and caught the base ball bat which became short and thick and stubby. The base ball bat had gotten so short and stubby that at first glance it looked like a rugby ball. The base ball bounced freely along the ground and Astral swept it up in his hands to give it back to the post woman. She smiled at Astral as she went on her merry way and he watched her cycle off in her mottled black and white clothing which had two round lumps as the short stumpy base ball bat and the base ball had been stuffed under her clothes. She briefly stopped to look at two of Astrals solid guitar cases standing side by side with their guitars in, that Astral had situated about one hundred meters down the road, before she carried on cycling into the distance.


(verse 31) Wake Up!

Astral was at a residential college for music and there were students with disabilities. There was a girl there who was so small, she looked like a doll. People were saying that she looked so happy and Astral was wondering if she had been sniffing something. There was some dating going on and there was an attractive girl that Astral was seeing, but the relationship faded off. Astrals mum was also there. He was aware that she was in the background sometimes as they all socialized. Astral had a nice bed and he hung his plastic bag on the end of his bed and went to bed which was then when he woke up.









Chapter Eight - Down In The Toilet

(verse 32) This Crap Job
(verse 33) Oi! Fart Arse!


(verse 32) This Crap Job

Astral was at work and he's talking about how all the doors do not fit. He was having a right good moan about this. He was talking to the maintenance man and saying to him, "I think that the others have heard me talking about the doors not fitting." The maintanence man gets upset exclaiming, "They know that we've been talking?!" Astral said "Well it is about your job. You are allowed to talk about your job." Astral was very aware of an attractive lass who worked there. All the doors that didn't fit were toilet doors and the maintanence man had a cubical for an office at the end of the row of toilets. The attractive lass who worked there and a manager would have over heard Astral talking from another room out of the toilet area and Astral was aware that he might have been talking too much.



(verse 33) Oi! Fart Arse!

Astral was at this house in the gardens and it was like a crazy party. There were people chasing each other, people asleep under shrubbery. Astral saw an old work friend and they were having a chat when Astral farted. It was silent but smelly. Astrals work friend did not know that Astral had farted at first but then Astrals work friend smelt it. He made a fuss and ran off. Astrals work friend and Astral had both done up their push bikes and were there to sell them. Astrals work friend had not been very confident about selling his push bike, which Astral thought was odd, because he was usually confident. So Astral went looking for his friend to tell him that he too was there to sell a push bike that he had done up and what were the chances of that?





Chapter Nine - Off Track

(verse 34) Terms And Conditions
(verse 35) Arti Intel Goes Rouge


(verse 34) Terms And Conditions

Astral was driving trains and these trains would get damaged. Odds were being placed on these trains being damaged and it was possible to make some money doing this. One train was being disputed on how it was being fixed and only certain fixations were allowed to be used.



(verse 35) Arti Intel Goes Rouge

Astral remembered seeing a flying train crash. He watched it as it came off its horizontal launch pad. The train was high up and essentially it was driven off a cliff. Astral watched it as the big clumbering mass arced, arched downwards. Astral wondered what it was going to crash into at first and then there was an unreal splash as two columns of water shot up into the air and arced, arched back in opposite ways to each other like two chunky water snakes. Astral could hear almighty quenching sounds of the crash as the heat of the crash reacted quenching it into the river water. Astral was excited that the train had crashed. It was in the direction where he was heading back through, but then he felt guilty for being so excited about a disaster like that. So Astral was heading back and he had his push bike with him. He had gotten off his push bike and was walking with it because the ground was grassy and uneven. He was doubious about going over this land because it was not a public space and he was not permitted to cross this land. Astral was not comfortable with trespassing. So as he got close to the crash site, he first heard a fuss and then some shouting and he saw a military man pointing his rifle. It was not pointing at Astral. The military man was silhouetted up to the right of Astral on higher ground and he was pointing his rifle in the opposite direction to Astral, as he was shouting and ordering aggressively to people who were out of sight from Astral. Astral thought 'S**t!' He hasn't seen me, so Astral gingerly carried on making his way across this waste grass land and then suddenly he was spotted. Before he knew it he was intermingling with the other people who were being rounded up and he, like these other people, was reluctant to go in the direction that they were instructed to go. So by now Astral was walking without his push bike and there was a woman who was watching him and was there to entice them all to go through this narrow pass to be detained. Astral recognized this woman, it was Arti Intel. He went up to her and they connected. It seemed to Astral that she was not happy with her job role, with having to round them all up and all. So together they made their exit incognito from this private wasteland and onto a more public space.





Chapter Ten - Ali The Asian Aspect

(verse 36) The Piss Take
(verse 37) Manipulation
(verse 38) Public Transport


(verse 36) The Piss Take

All that Ali remembered was that he was talking to someone? He was telling them about someone who he was talking to on the phone and Ali started to imitate their accent. It was a cross between Pakistani and Jamacian. Ali was aware of someone who was sat on a step. He was wearing white robes and he was smiling at the accent that Ali was imitating. This was in a predestrianized street and there were buildings with scaffolding up. Ali had been looking at different types of vegetables.



(verse 37) Manipulation

'This man' came over to Ali saying that he wanted to talk to him. He was a foreign man, because his vernacular was unusual to Ali. Ali was expecting 'this man' to talk to him, but he wanted Ali to phone him and then 'this man' went off, he just walked away. Ali thought to himself, 'I don't want to talk to him.' Ali was thinking that 'this man' wanted his frying pan. This would be a problem because Ali wanted to do some cooking. It was this lasses wedding that day. So Ali was doing this cooking with his frying pan, thinking that he should ring 'this man', but Ali could not bring himself around to do this. Ali remembered watching this lass with her wedding clothes on and they were not traditional wedding clothes. Ali mainly remembered her putting on her very thick platform shoes. She had skinny jeans on and a cream and silver cardigan, but she was about seven foot tall and she was about to stand up in these platform shoes. Ali was thinking, 'She's like a tall girl on stilts.' He noticed she had dark hair and it just ended there.



(verse 38) Public Transport

Ali was on a crowded bus and people were smoking. There was a Russian and he was smoking stolen cigarettes. The bus was full of people and there was a lot of casual chatter. Ali was talking to someone sat close to the Russian and they were discussing about him smoking stolen cigarettes. Ali was careful not to be too obvious that they were talking about the Russian. Ali knew he was Russian because Ali had previously spoken to him. They discussed his smoking, but his accent was strong and it was difficult to communicate. When Ali had spoken to him, the Russian was drawing on his cigarette thinking about what Ali had just said. It would take him a long time to respond to Ali and then he spoke with his Russian accent which was difficult to understand. There was another lad on the bus who came walking past them on the bus as they were sat down. The lads hands and arms were wet and soapy and people were saying to him "You are always asking about Jamie." It was just a crowded bus full of lads and they were all just casually talking away.





Chapter Eleven - Presentations

(verse 39) Presenting himself
(verse 40) Remember Roy Castle?


(verse 39) Presenting himself

Astral was dreaming that he was a sports presenter with a co presenter called Chris. Chris had blonde hair and he was a traditional style presenter. He liked sport. Astral was not traditional as he would mess around and be more flamboyant. Astral was spinning around in his chair. He was singing. Astral was having a good time, but he did not know sport and he was not interested in sport and yet he was a sports presenter.


(verse 40) Remember Roy Castle?

Remember how it used to be? When there was Ross and Norris and Norris and Ross. Roy is standing up presenting in a studio with dramatic lighting and dramatic music and he is very focused on his delivery. Roy is a co host and it is very important to get the timing and delivery correct. Roy is conscious of people watching him and how he is coming across. Roy can see circles like giant camera lenses projecting out and flashing down a countdown, three, two, one. There are facts being presented here first by Roy and then by the co host and this is all done to the music 'Master Of Puppets' by Metallica.





Chapter Twelve - Other Consciousness
(verse 41) Dog Fish
(verse 42) A Ghostly Appearance
(verse 43) The Technician  
(verse 44) Shifting Realities


(verse 41) Dog Fish

Somehow Astral had met a native person and he was traveling with them which made three of them altogether, but the third person was very vague and Astral did not know who he was. They traveled across a frozen sea which was frozen into corrugated sine waves. The native man said, "It would only take one explosion and we would all be gone in an instant." Astral said, "Let's get back then. It looks cold down there to swim in." They went back, but they still ended up swimming under water. They were retrieving some goods from under water with some manual pallet wheels. It was all a bit suspicious as to, if they should be getting these goods from under water, but they got them back to dry land anyway. Astral remembered dropping some goods off near a dogs kennel before waking up. The goods resembled dog food?



(verse 42) A Ghostly Appearance

Astral went to this womans apartment. She was Scottish and she had a big playful white dog. Astral was in her apartment and he was looking out the window at something? It was grassy and he was watching someone on that field in the distance. Astral thought that he had been talking to that person previously, but he didn't know what was said?



(verse 43) The Technician

The technician was a man in a white coat and he was chatting to Astral. Astral remembered thinking that his teeth felt okay. He couldn't feel them. Astral said, "Do you want to have a look in the front?" Astral thought he was going to have to disconnect the interior light from the front as they were in the back of the vehicle. Astral thought that he was going to have to turn the electric power off. Astral had a screwdriver in his hand, but there were operating machines on in the vehicle. Astral didn't know how they were going to get the bulb out from the front of the vehicle without getting an electric shock. The man in a white coat said, "Let me have a look." So Astral left it with the technician.


(verse 44) Shifting Realities

Astral was really struggling to remember this reality. As he was remembering it, it was changing. It was wriggling away. He was trying to remember who he was conscious of. He was familiar to Astral and yet he did not know who he was? Astral remembered that he was smelly though. Like a wet plastic mac smell and then Astral overheard someone say, "He's a bit smelly. He's looking good though." Astral thought that there was a teaching element to this consciousness. This smelly consciousness was very difficult to remember. Astrals memories of this consciousness had changed, as though the way that it presented itself was not possible to express in this reality. So all Astral could get when he tried to remember what the consciousness was saying/doing/teaching? was a memory that wriggled away from Astral. This was the only was to describe the elusive element of this consciousness. This consciousness was very abstractly surreal and could not be communicated any better than Astral had just done here.





Chapter Thirteen - I'm Happy And I Know It

(verse 45) Roll Up, Roll Up
(verse 46) The Book Of Life
(verse 47) Women Who Orginise
(verse 48) Astrals Dream Girl


(verse 45) Roll Up, Roll Up

Someone had given Astral some roll up papers that were loose out of a rizla packet. Astral didn't ask for them someone just seemed to read Astrals mind. Astral was then waiting for tobacco. He was aware of some things that had been going on with other people who were not around him.



(verse 46) The Book Of Life

Astral was resting on his bed and he was not quite asleep, but he imagined in his dreaminess a book and each page represented something and Astral got the idea to move on and so he turned the page and the next page was representing "Eye It." This was the title of the page. Astral was trying to see what the other pages represented and so he was looking at the titles, but it was not clear for him to see. Then Astral came out of his dreaminess.



(verse 47) Women Who Organise

There was a lass from Lincoln and she was doing a party for children. She had a box full of decorations and she was starting to decorate the room. Astral was there and this lass from Lincoln was telling the ladies from Notts That she would be sorting out a birthday party for Astral. Astral was there listening and he was greatful for the trouble that she was going to. Astral was at a loss of words, not really knowing how to react to her generosity, So he decided to play it cool. Astrals birthday and birthday party was on Thursday. In the meantime it was Tuesday and so they were concentrating on doing the childrens party. As the ladies were chatting to each other Astral was just in the background taking it all in and generally keeping a low profile.



(verse 48) Astrals Dream Girl

Astral was at his party. Alison and Kari were there from the Shiny Show. They were all socialising. It came time to leave the party and Astral had got all this stuff to take away with him. There was a large yellow toy truck that he had and it was on a long handle that Astral pushed or pulled the truck with. Astral was making his way out of the party and people were saying "Have you got all your stuff?" He gathered it all up. He filled up his truck and carried some stuff as he left the party with Kari. First Astral was pulling the truck then he was pushing the truck making his way between people, out of the party and into the lift with Kari and the truck of stuff. Kari is wearing a silky green dress. Astral definately had a crush on Kari, but that's just a dream : )



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'Astral Travels' is a surreal novelette 8419 words written by Adi Cox. Started on 11th September and was finished on 8th October 2016.