Death Alone

I want to be clean

I want to stay clean

But the constant feel of dirty never leaves me

Always back in my mind.

Losing Sight of wrong and right

When is the time to stand

When is it going to end.

I've lost the battle, the war, the fight

All my tears have been cried.

My heart torn, my dignity gone

All I've got left is death

And death alone

Author's Note

Short and not sweet:/ sorry guys. Off the top of my head.

Reviews

[Nigel Newman]

Hi Angela. You sent a friend request so I've taken a look at a few of your entries. Wrong word in some ways, but I "like" this one best. It's very raw and very sad, and as your comments have shown, very real.

I notice in one of the other poem comments you took exception to someone picking up on grammar and spelling. Well, if I accept your friend request you'll just have to get used to it because sometimes these things can get in the way and cause the flow to jar - occasionally they can also introduce unintended ambiguity. Anyway, apart from having 'Sight' rather than 'sight' this poem looks fine to me. Sorry if you think that's petty, but to me, it can get in the way. So, as nothing did get in the way I found myself in a desperately sad angry poem that I found very moving.

One of the things I'd encourage you to do more, because I think it really works, is where you almost 'stand back' and take a different perspective. For example, in one poem you started talking about Cinderella and a Prince - this fitted perfectly with what had gone before but was a nice shift of position. When you think about it, this is akin to triangulation when trying to pinpoint something, and deepens the intensity by exploring from another angle.

Your profile sounds pretty sad but also that you're doing things to grow. Best wishes, and keep writing! Nigel

[Angela Sparks]

Thank you! I don't mind it when people correct my grammar. I do all my writing on a mobile device so I do mess up quite a lot. As for "standing back" I'll try to do that more often. It's a little more complicated for me, which is why many of my poems don't have that kind of technique, but it's always worth a shot, especially if it helps build up the intensity and the overall understanding of the poem. Thank you again. ^.^ this is a wonderful review, and thank you also for the advice.

[AaronFreitas]

This is a deep and emotional write. That sense of never being clean again can get overwhelming. Yet, someday when the right person comes along and makes you feel absolutely loved just the way you are you will feel clean and whole and beautiful all again! Excellent write Angela :)

[Angela Sparks]

Very true ^.^ thanks for this review Aaron :) glad you understand it

[Coyote Poetry]

A powerful and sad poem. Last year. A friend committed suicide alone. He felt alone. A bad place to be.
"All I've got left is death
And death alone"
The worst death is the lonely death. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[Angela Sparks]

I'm sorry about your friend. I've tried but never succeeded. And some part of my is glad about it. Most loneliness we feel is more of a mirage, or illusion. We are negative, so we see the people we don't have, then the people we do. I wish your friend could've seen that no one is ever truly lonely. Thank you for reading. I'm glad you found a way to connect to it, though I'm sorry for the reason.

[Coyote Poetry]

He was a family member. Easy to find salvation in drugs and be blinded to real life and you are welcome. I always enjoy your work.

[Angela Sparks]

I'm so sorry for the loss, it's never easy losing someone. I'm glad you enjoy it

[zaisham9393]

This is sad .But you described well the feeling of being lost and depressed.Keep writing.Thanks for sharing :)!!!!

[Angela Sparks]

I'm glad you thought so. Thank you so much for reading:)