A Not So FairyTale - The Princess And The Dragon

A princess is kidnapped by a dragon and they both decide they want a different life.

Once upon a time, in a kingdom far away, there lived a princess. Princess Sofia lived in a big castle and did all the things you’d expect a princess to do. But only because it was customary. She didn’t want to disappoint the family. Being a princess sounds great but when you have to deal with all of the drama and B.S. ceremony, not to mention everything is scheduled. Every second of every day. That’s the stuff the public doesn’t see and she deplored it all. Just once she would have liked to sleep in, or go to the mall. Just getting to use the privy by herself, without ten handmaidens following behind her, would be awesome.

Now, since she was the fairest and by that metric, most kidnappable, she was expected to endure the standard kidnapping. Expected to be carried off to some drab tower so some idiot prince with an ego could come rescue her and blah, blah, blah. You know the story. That’s just how things go for a princess.

Sure enough the day came. On her eighteenth birthday, while enjoying a walk in the garden, a dragon swooped in and carried her off. Of course her handmaidens screamed appropriately and her father,the king, issued the standard royal decree announcing that the princess was in need of rescue. Same old thing as usual.

The princess just played along expecting to be dropped off in some cold dreary tower but she was pleasantly surprised when the dragon set her off on a nice plush couch in a cozy warm cave. It was his lair. The dragon then just flopped over on the floor and let out a groan and said, “I’m glad that’s over. Do you have any idea how hard it is to kidnap a princess? My back is killing me and I’ve got stuff to do.” “Excuse me?” The princess said surprisingly. “Listen, My name is Leroy, I’m sorry to have kidnapped you, I’m sure you expected it. My dad wouldn’t quit until I agreed to work in the family business. This was my first assignment.” Leroy explained. “I don’t want to do standard dragon jobs for a living but I can’t disappoint my family. Dad was so proud when I left the office.”

“I know exactly what you mean! I’m so tired of this princess crap. People always expect the same stuff over and over. Why can’t they mix things up a little. The monotony is killing me!” Princess Sofia exclaimed. “Right!” Leroy said. Finally someone else who gets it.”
Princess Sofia was surprised, needless to say. She didn’t realize there were others who were just as unhappy with the way things were. She looked at Leroy and said defiantly, “Hello! Its 2025 for goodness sake. I have a life of my own and I’d like to live it my way. Oh, and I’m sorry, but whatever loser they send to rescue me will not be living ’happily ever after’ on my dime with me!”

“No kidding.” Leroy said as he sat at his desk kicking off his shoes. “I don’t want to do this dragon stuff either. It’s outdated. Personally, I like to bake. I’m good at it. Other dragons love my cakes and cookies. I’ve even started my own channel on TikTok. Look!” Leroy pulled up his TikTok channel showing the princess all of the wonderful things he had baked. “That’s awesome! You should definitely do that instead of kidnapping people and burning villages and stuff.” The princess said with a big smile. It seemed the two of them would get along great and they became best friends.

Leroy asked, “But what about all the princes that are going to start showing up? I mean sure they’ll go to the tower first but I’m sure someone will tell them you’re over here. They always want to hurt me. Every time. Why can’t they just knock? Be polite? Ask a question or two? Instead they always go straight for the sword. I always have to fake being killed to get them to go away. It’s a real drag.” Leroy complained. “We’ll figure something out.“ Princess Sofia said, “I mean, I don’t necessarily want to be rescued and have to deal with all that clingy crap from whichever boneheaded prince that finds me. And dad, the king, it’ll be a fight for sure with him. He always goes on about how important it is to follow tradition. When I tell him I think I’m a lesbian he’s going to freak out.”

“What if we just load up and take off?” The princess asked. “I’ve got money saved. We can take off to the next kingdom, rent a place where you can start a bakery. Well get one with an apartment upstairs for us to live in. I can become an influencer on TikTok and YouTube. We won’t have to continue pretending to be something we’re not. We won’t be in everyone’s face making them mad for not playing along and following tradition. And we get to do our own thing and see how it goes. If it doesn’t work out, we can always go back to doing stupid princess and dragon stuff. It’s a win win!”

Leroy agreed. Before the first prince could make it to the tower, Leroy packed his things and took the princess up to her castle to get her belongings. They told their families what they were going to do. Their fathers were upset. What did they think they were doing? Their place was in the kingdom playing their respective roles as a princess and a dragon. What would the people think? But after much discussion the fathers gave in and wished their children good luck. With that the two set out for the next kingdom. once there they Rented a bakery with an apartment upstairs. Princess Sofia learned how to become an influencer on TikTok, YouTube and what else would you expect from a princess, OnlyFans, They found their way, day by day, after that.

I suppose the moral of the story is you can’t always be what others expect you to be. Sometimes you have to do your own thing. Even if everyone else thinks you're crazy. But honestly girls, you can skip the OnlyFans. Really.


The End