The Strange And Unmistakable Truth

A Story by Cookie

I’ve figured out what’s behind the strange occurrences in the country as of late.

Our nation has been in turmoil. Strange and mysterious occurrences have swept the land. UFO sightings, mysterious fog, unexplained weather events and trustworthy politicians to name a few. Yes, things we never believed were possible. I’ve tried to convince myself it’s all normal everyday confusion making things seem so out of place but I wonder. Is it all real or my imagination? I mean seriously, a trustworthy politician, come on.

My family is scattered throughout the great lands of America. I’m concerned that I haven’t heard from my fellow blacksheep and cousin, Joey, who lives in the south. With so many strange happenings in the recent weeks, I hope everything is ok. He lives in Louisiana. Things there have been terribly odd. He reported weeks ago that in New Orleans, where he was working, 14 inches of snow fell. This is unheard of. What could be causing such strangeness?

Sometimes you hear rumors. Whispers in the night. Tales of someone or something behind it all. But what? I believe I have stumbled across the answer. Late one night, while looking for stories to read even dumber than the ones I write. I stumbled across what I think is the answer. It’s the only thing that explains it all. What is it you ask? Well, the strange and unmistakable truth is…it’s zombie hookers.

Now I know it sounds far-fetched but I can’t change the truth. What’s stranger than a trustworthy politician? Zombie hookers. What can cause extreme rain, strange fog and large amounts of snow where it never falls? Yes! Of course! Zombie hookers. Why didn’t we see this before? We’ve let our guard down and now our great nation is in peril. And all because of zombie hookers. I don’t know what the answer to our problem is or how to put a stop to all these odd events but I’m sure the cause is nothing less than, zombie hookers

I can only try to get this information to you, possibly the last rational people on earth, and hope with your experience and expertise we can stop this zombie menace before it’s too late. Now that you know the true cause of the high strangeness in our land I pray you can devise a solution. My feeble intelligence is no match when confronted by zombie hook£rs I must concede. You, my friends and fellow Americans, are our nation's only hope.

May god be with you.

(We could keep the trustworthy politicians if you can pull that off. Just saying.)

The End