Sherri White of Wild Wonderful West Virginia. A Parody of Snow White

A Story by Cookie

Sherri white runs away as her evil influencer mother tries to out do her and have fairest viewer count in the family.

Once upon a time, in a holler among the Appalachian hills, there lived a teenage girl named Sherri White. She wasn’t your typical princess, in fact, she wasn’t a princess at all. Sherri was the daughter of a famous fashion influencer, a mother who ran the family like a tightly managed PR campaign. Sherri had dark eyeliner, a closet full of ripped jeans, a playlist full of angry music and she had a rebellious streak as sharp as her tongue. Most of all though, she was promiscuous to say the least. She was spoiled, had daddy issues. You name it.
Her mother, known online as the “Fairest Queen,” was obsessed with her image. She couldn’t stand that Sherri’s raw beauty pale skin, raven-black hair, and piercing green eyes was effortlessly stealing the spotlight on social media, and Sherri White’s reputation as an online trollop really made her look bad. Every selfie Sherri posted racked up more likes than the Queen’s meticulously curated posts. But what else would you expect? Sherri White's selfies always showed cleavage.
“Mirror, mirror, on the wall,” the Queen would whisper into her phone each night as she checked her follower count. “Who’s the fairest online of them all?”
One day, her phone buzzed with an answer she dreaded: “It’s Sherri White. Her latest TikTok just went viral. You just can’t compete. She has some really nice cleavage and loves to show them off. The sex tape that ‘accidentally’ got released made her a star too.”
Enraged, the Queen hatched a plan. She hired a private investigator to dig up more dirt on Sherri White. Everything she found was no good to her. It would have just boosted Sherri’s viewer count. There was nothing she could do but take matters into her own hands. She locked Sherri in her bedroom, cut off her internet, and told her, “You can’t come out until I’m the fairest one of all online!”
But Sherri wasn’t one to be contained. That night, she packed her thrift-store backpack, climbed out of the window of her double wide and vanished into the darkness. She hadn’t really thought through were she’d go but she figured it all work out. After all she was Sherri White.
Sherri had a long walk to town. Her phone was dead and her stomach empty. She stumbled into an abandoned house covered in graffiti, its broken windows glowing with warm light. “It looks like somebody’s been stripping the inside for copper”, she thought. Inside, she found seven young outcasts, each as troubled as she was. They were still hard at work burning the coating off the copper they had collected that day. They were all so high, they didn’t even notice her come in.
• Doc, the oldest, was a college dropout. He fancied himself a unlicensed pharmacist. That’s just mountain speak for a dope dealer.
• Grumpy was a sarcastic a*****e. He smoked a lot of weed which mellowed him out.
• Happy stayed so high he never really knew where he was, and living oblivious to real life he was happy as could be.
• Sleepy napped in the corner, passed out of course.
• Sneezy was a DJ with terrible allergies to… everything. Because of that, he was probably the only sober one of the bunch.
• Bashful was a coder who never looked up from his laptop and mostly was just watching porn.
• Dopey, the youngest, communicated in gestures and wore a hoodie too big for him. He wasn’t all there. They said he has a bad reaction to something and hasn’t been right since.

They were squatters who lived off the grid, and they took Sherri in without question. In return, she shared her sharp wit, her survival skills, and her stories of rebellion and how everything wrong in her life was always someone else’s fault. For the first time, Sherri felt free. She didn’t have to listen to her jealous self centered mom and she was going to do everything her way now. It’s not like there would be consequences.
The misfits taught her how to make meth, hustle guys for cash, live without rules and stay high. She sold pictures on Snapchat and that kept them all in dope most of the time. Together, they became an unlikely family.
Back at home, the Queen couldn’t stand Sherri’s growing independence. When her P.I. discovered Sherri’s hideout, the Queen devised a new plan. She disguised herself as a local reporter wanting to write a story about Sherri’s former online success. She donned a hooded coat, and arrived at the house with a basket of glossy red apples as a housewarming gift.
“This is for the girl who went viral,” the Queen said sweetly, handing Sherri an apple. “A little taste of home.”
Sherri didn’t normally take food from strangers. She hesitated for a moment but the Misfits were watching and she didn’t want to be rude. She rolled her eyes. “What’s the worst that could happen?” she joked, and took a bite. Before she could lay the apple down she fell out.
The apple was laced with a strong sedative. Sherri collapsed to the floor, unconscious. The Queen smirked and walked away, leaving Sherri to be forgotten.
The Misfits refused to abandon Sherri. Doc gave her 4 Narcans and kept slapping her to wake her up. Happy was so high he didn’t know what was going on anyway. Grumpy was totally out of it. He’d just ate a huge amount of mushrooms and thought they were all tripping. Sneezy was just freaking out, afraid they'd get busted if they had to call 911 and the cops showed up.
Luckily Sherri White pulled through and life went on. But after living with these guys for a few months and smoking meth daily, Her fair complexion was gone. She was missing a tooth and She had lost so much weight she looked like a holocaust victim.
Sherri’s online presence had really suffered. Sherri White's selfish self centered mom had accomplished what she had been trying to do the whole time. Surpassing Sherri White's viewer count and since she’d learned the value of showing her cleavage in a selfie, she was killing it on OnlyFans..
I guess the moral of the story is don’t do drugs and stay away from people that do, or one day you might turn around and see it’s your mom on killing it on OnlyFans.

THE END