There Came Forth One

More of an experimental write. Trying to create an image more so than a functional poem.

In the dark of the night
There came to me
A vision of bright lights and sound
In front of my eyes
A stage was illuminated
As a shroud of fog billowed in
From amid the shroud
There came forth one
Bearing mighty rods in each hand
Then there appeared in front of him
An immense drum
Colored blood red
With rods in hand
The one struck the drum
In rapid, rhythmic succession
He laid down the beat
For his fellow mates
Who followed soon thereafter
As I continued to watch
There came forth two more
Each with an instrument their own
One played low and provided a beat
Much like the drummer before him
The other played high and provided a tune
To complete the ensemble of sound
Their music permeated
The air all around
As from the darkness
Another came forth
This one was different
From his brothers before
For in his hand
A mic was firmly gripped
He is the Speaker
The one with the message
He has come to share it with all
So listen well
You audience of one
For they perform
For each individual
Open your heart
And embrace their words
So your lips may embrace
A smile

Reviews

[OfDeathandLove]

It was pretty great, but with your decision to make it more of an image, I think rather than intensifying the image, you scattered it. It became a little messy and confusing. If you break it up into stanzas, it might help the reader digest it a little better. C:

[Mason Rayburn]

True enough. Just how this one turned out, I guess.

[Just Kim]

love the last 4 lines the best, nicely written and expressed