The Victor

I think just about everyone goes through some type of experience like this. Hastag, girl power.

The Victor

Is it you
At dawn of day
Your wide brow shining
Your saunter gay?

Is it you
Beneath the trees

With eyes of blue
And leaves of green?

Is it you
Who sings me songs

With passion burning
With voice so strong?

Is it I
Who fills your mind
At end of night
Thoughts sweet and kind?

Is it you
Who holds my hand
Who drives away
The bleak and bland?

Is it you
The only one
That brings the light
When there’s no sun?

Is it I
The girl who fits
The puzzle piece
So long amiss?

Is it I
Who sobs and weeps
Who longs for you
Yet tries to sleep?

It is you
But I was played
Your perfect sport
Left me betrayed

Tis not I
Who waits for you
Who wastes away
Who sits and stews

It is I
Who rises up
Reveals to you
Your own bad luck

No longer will
I miss that face
Deceptive charm
Repulsive grace

No longer will
My weakness last
I’ll raise my spirits
As on a mast

And with each day
My presence dead
Where will you rest
A tired head?

Who will make do
With falsities?
Who’s won the game?
The victor’s me

Reviews

[Sam]

That was awesome. And if you're looking for constructive criticism... I don't know what to tell you, it was written so well, I read it four times over and over, LOOKING for a fault. I guess if you want someone to tell you how to make it better, maybe rearrange some of the stanzas? I mean, maybe all of the stanzas beginning with 'Is it you,' or 'Is it I,' could be grouped together. Although, that could end up ruining it.

I'm going to rate it because, well, its worth rating.

[Emma Grace Tennyson]

Thank you! That means a lot! I did think about rearranging the stanzas, but like you said it might throw it off. However, it might make it more powerful, honestly they were not strategically placed by any means. I'll toy with it. Thanks again!

[keysersoze]

I've been a member of this site for all of about 3 hours, but if all the poetry on here is of this quality (I doubt it), then I'm in for a treat :) Really loved this.

[Emma Grace Tennyson]

Thank you so much.