The Path I Choose is you.

A Story by Clumbsy Smurf

The struggle of finding a way to make it into someones life.

The sound of my alarm rings 4:30am a new day starts. I stir and wake, dragging my body from my bed. My feet hit the cold tiles of the floor. She comes to me, like every morning, every minute of every day, she's with me always. Good morning, I say. Though sometimes she's already beaten me to it, as I check my phone.

The best start to the day I could ask for, I see her name in the notifications icon. My heart flutters and I feel myself smiling just because I know that she's thought of me.

All day I check my phone, she messages, my heart swells again. All day I could talk to her, nothing much really to say but I never grow tired. It is a feeling I can not describe, a feeling I'm almost addicted to.

Yet this feeling has two sides, it's bitter sweet. Having her but not having her, it is a curse to feel such love for someone who is not yours.

I want to tell her things, thoughts, but it's not fair to do so, Not yet, but soon.

I make plans in my mind, not sharing until the time is right. My plans, My dreams vibrate with her presence, I can not ask her to wait and I must be patient, hoping that what we have will not fade. she does not know how I plan my future, or that I want to plan it with her.

I believe every action that has happened to me in my life, has lead me to this very point, to this very location, to this very incredible person.

I'm fighting to make it so, fighting emotions, complications and restrictions all so that I can hold her and call her mine and to be hers completely.

The hardest part is waiting, waiting for the right path to show its self, giving me the opportunity to take her hand and jump into the unknown, into our own future.

Also the ache I feel, when i know, she thinks I am unsure, unsure of my feelings, she hesitates and does not trust my will power. she retracts herself to shield her heart. I cant complain that she does not surrender to her feelings. I pray that our destiny reveals its self soon.