I'm The Best

George: Why do you believe there is so much inequality and cruelty in the world?

Gretchen: Let’s not get started on this. I want to go read.
George: Yes, yes, you read those novels of suspense and mystery. Read the tales of men and women that live for lust and sex, and people who become happy and care about other people. But, tell me, where does one find such people in the real world? Have you ever met one? I know for a fact I never have, and I never will. Maybe I was born out of place or time, but whatever the case I have come to realize how superior and better I am than the rest of humanity. It’s true I am not as rich or prosperous or as seemingly happy as others, but you must admit I am not mean or egotistical in the least. I am kind, compassionate, and caring whereas you and the rest of society are crass, cruel, corrupt, etc, etc. All of you disgust me. I should throw up right here and make all of you watch it millions of times in slow-motion replay. But, as I previously mentioned I am too nice, great and humane of a person to do such things. It is true I eat to excess, I take too long in the shower, and that I sing at the top of my lungs and never apologize. It is true I never thank you for cooking dinner, or for making the bed, or doing the laundry, or helping me with any problem I am having, but I am a saint because I am aware of my failings, and I feel bad about them. I often want to shoot myself for how ungrateful and selfish, and vain I am. But, unlike other people, yourself included I feel guilt about these things, and I am deprived of a few more minutes of sleep each night. And, as we both know very well, I am one of the most tired people you will ever come across, but I wake up although I often never want to, and I go through this Hell we call life. Do you know why? I go through with it because I am a good, caring, humble, understanding, and a free of prejudice person. I care about all people although I may not always show it. It’s true. I forget and I lapse into long, dreadful silences which cause me to tune out of everything going on around me, but, again, I feel bad about this. One day I will even get better about it. So, we now know what a great, suffering person I am. Will you please tell me why there is so much inequality and cruelty in the world?
Gretchen: No. (Exits.)
(End)