The Dictator

I don’t care much for the shoes he is wearing. He wears blue ones. I hate the color blue. He must wear the color I like or he gets it.

What exactly is he going to get?

Death.

It appears that you’re a dictator in the making. Meaning you refuse to advance beyond the mental age of 6. Yes this is what the world needs. One more insecure, lonely, misunderstood, self-indulgent, egotistical politician who wants to do everything his or her way or anyone who disagrees with them gets called un-American, gets tortured, or Hell, just kill them if they refuse through torture, threats, and insults to comply with your silly demands.

Exactly. You’re catching on. You see when I was born the Lord Himself spoke to me. Only I could hear Him. Since He spoke to me obviously he was giving me a mandate to do anything I wished in this world.

Well you’re a moron. Let’s kill people because they don’t want to play with me the way I want them to play. You’re a f*****g a*****e and no one will ever love you if you keep this up. Perhaps this is why you have no friends and no one ever played tetherball with you during recess. This is why you were not invited to play any of their reindeer games,. Rudolph. You’re just not very likeable at all.

How dare you! Don’t you stand there and tell me I’m not the greatest ruler in the history of the world! I’m the best. The absolute best. I am cool and hip and awesome and I’m rich and everyone adores me.

Only because you make them love you or they have to die. You do realize that you have to threaten these people’s lives to gain their friendship? You’re such a jerk.

That’s it. You are gonna get it, hotshot. I am gonna send you sky high, m**********r!

What is this, an episode of the Sopranos now? Do you just want me to tell you what you want to hear?

Exactly. That’s the human thing to do.

Oh, geez. Just kill me, okay? I don’t want to live in a world as superficial and corrupt as this.

Well, okay then. Guards, call in the firing squad!

Why don’t you evcr kill the wrongdoers yourself?

Are you calling me a coward, you son of a b***h?!

Well, yeah, I am, dumbass.

Silence! I will not have your disrespect. I am God when you’re in my presence. Well, I’m always God but I’m especially God when other people are around.

Uh huh. Okay. Well this is disappointing. You know what? I’m not going to give you the satisfaction of killing or having your firing squad kill an innocent man.

What do you mean?

Well, I made a deal with your firing squad earlier.

Yeah and…?

Well, look around real quick.

(The dictator looks around- The firing squad shoots him dead. He dies, croaking and whining as always.)

Good job, men. I guess I’ll be the dictator now.

(They all groan but let him do as he likes since they think although they have all the weapons they can’t do anything.)

(Lights. The end.)