When?

Karen: Hey, Fred!

Fred: Karen! I love you, darling.

Karen: I love you, too!

Fred: What should we do for dinner?

Karen: We’ll worry about that later. I just want to be with you right now. Let’s cuddle.

Fred: Sounds fun. (They kiss and get ready to cuddle.)

(Lights.)

Fred: Honey, I’m home!

Karen: Am I supposed to be impressed?

Fred: What’s the matter?

Karen: I was joking! Come here so I can kiss you.

(He comes to her and they kiss.)

(Lights.)

Fred: You know I realized today that I have spent my entire life being angry with God, and I don’t believe he or she or it… or whatever God is supposed to be exists because let’s face it if whatever it is existed the world wouldn’t be the way it is today. Anyway, so I discovered that I have spent my entire life being angry with something that doesn’t exist so I really have been angry with anything at all…. So maybe this means that actually I have been dissatisfied for all the wrong turns my life has been taking as of late, or throughout all of my life. I don’t really know.

Karen: Well, I still love you.

Fred: Yeah. I’m not sure if I love you anymore.

(Lights.)

Karen: Fred, we don’t talk a whole lot, do we?

Fred: Oh, umm, we talk enough, I guess.

Karen: What do we talk about?

Fred: Let’s not talk about it.

Karen: But I think we should.

Fred: It’s easier to pretend that nothing is wrong and just goof off all the time.

Karen: But neither one of us feel good at all. Do you feel good?

Fred: I tend not to think about how I feel or don’t feel. It makes things more enjoyable.

Karen: Oh. Well I don’t think we should hide everything and evade things the moment they get the least bit difficult or complicated.

Fred: That’s dangerous thinking, Karen.

Karen: But we’re dying, we’re…. we’re….. not communicating or really emoting or feeling or having any true anything anymore. This is a ll a façade.

Fred: No you’re just using silly clichés.

Karen: Do you think I’m being silly.

Fred: Perhaps I do, but don’t worry about what I think or don’t think because it may not really be what I’m thinking or not thinking… see, it’s better not to know these things.

Karen: Have you slept with anyone else since we got married?

Fred: I’m really tired.

Karen: Have you?

Fred: It’s been a while.

Karen: Who was it?

Fred: Does it matter?

Karen: Yes! Well, no, I guess it doesn’t. It just means I can’t trust you anymore.

Fred: It was five years go. No, seven.

Karen: Or has it been for the last seven years?

Fred: Don’t be like this, please.
Karen: How am I supposed to be?

Fred: Come on, it only happened a few times six years ago.

Karen: I thought it was seven and only once.

Fred: Oh, well I misspoke.

Karen: Which time did you misspeak.

Fred: This is becoming a soap opera.

Karen: You don’t want to deal with any of this. Shall we return to our façade?

Fred: We’ll talk more about this in the morning.

Karen: I don’t think we will. I know we won’t.

Fred: We will.

Karen: Let’s not bother… I still love you but you don’t love me for reasons… what are they anyway?

Fred: Don’t.

Karen: Of course if it gets uncomfortable just shut up and pretend things are beautiful. Of course. Good night. I love you.

Fred: Good night.

(Lights)

Karen: So. What do you have planned for the day?

Fred: Work then I’ll hit the bar after work.

Karen: Any time for me?

Fred: I’ll be home about midnight.

Karen: 7 hours of drinking?

Fred: Don’t.

Karen: Of course not. How dare I expect any time or attention from you.
Fred: Okay. I’ll be home about midnight. Maybe a little after.

Karen: I love you.

Fred: Bye.

(Lights.)

Karen: (On the telephone) Yeah, well, it happens. Can’t change it. I don’t feel all that bad about it, really. I did but not now. Yeah, well I probably won’t have another chance but I’m still with Fred so… maybe things will change there. Maybe he’ll begin caring about me a little. You never know. Yeah, he probably never will but I love him and I can’t stop loving him. I’m stupid but I love him and…. Yeah, okay, I’ll talk to you sometime soon. (Hangs up). Yeah, we’ll talk the next time something awful happens to one of us.

(Lights.)

Fred: So, are you okay with this?

Karen: I’m not.

Fred: Well, it’s going to happen.

Karen: Fanfuckingtastic, a*****e.

Fred: Don’t be this way.

Karen: Right. The façade.

Fred: I haven’t loved you in a long time. I can’t continue to hurt you this way.

Karen: You’ve never cared if you’ve hurt me. You just want to be with her and give her children because she’s so wonderful, and I’m good-for-nothing.

Fred: It’s over. It’s final, Karen.

Karen: Yeah. We’ll see.

Fred: No, it’s over.

Karen: We’ll see.

(They stare at each other.)

(Lights.)
Fred: (On the telephone.) Yeah, it’s too bad. But it’s nice to finally be with someone I love and care about. Well, it was an awful mistake. It happens. Yes, I’ll talk to you later. (Hangs up) We’ll never talk again. I do miss her… in a way…. But she’ll be better wherever she is now. Time to live finally.

(Lights.)

Karen: (Sighs.)

(Lights.)

(Curtain)

Reviews

[The Analog Kid]

As a rough draft, you have some ideas here. The plot is unremarkable. You do have the start with the characters though. Build in much more stage direction, setting, and character description. Format is ok.

[Crowley]

Alright, I am not going to talk about formatting, or anything like that. I tell you what I see. This is a fantastic trip through the relationship of a normal couple with normal issues and put in such a way that you can fit an entire time frame into a snapshot. I see this like a between HBO movies short starring Kevin Spacey and Holly Hunter or someone like that. Dark background fading in and out of their parts of dialogue, some scenery and/or music in between dialogues and maybe a monologue from each of them at different points in the short. I really kind of liked this and think it has some potential because of its realness. Just one mans opinion.

[Senseless whatever]

Good write. The story is pretty easy to follow. You need more setting. Where exactly do you want the characters to be? Set a more solid tone. Is the room warm or cold? Implied through this story the room starts warm and gets colder with the characters. Describe the scenes with more detail, just a little to guide the reader/ director.

[Tala]

I read the two stage plays you requested i read or something and they dont seems right in this format, even if you made them more substantial they seem more like poems or short stories or something.

[Brit Riot]

As a rough draft or idea for a storyline, this has potential.
The more you practice with screen-writing, the better you will become.
Writing dialog is a really difficult thing to do, (trust me I can relate, I struggle with it constantly!) so just practice, and maybe consider taking a class on it or asking advice from someone who rocks it out.
I don't think it is needed to put you down, ahem, because everyone perceives everything differently from one another. Maybe the idea in your head just didn't hit the paper the same way you imagined it. Not every piece of writing is anyone's cup of tea. Don't fret though! JUST KEEP WRITING.

[Sara Mercury]

I am not going to criticise you for the format to this stage play, as this is not my area of expertise; I am a novelist, not a screenwriter or a playwright. This is very difficult to follow, but from what I gathered, it's about a couple who absolutely has nothing in common with each other and no communication skills whatsoever. The relationship was doomed from the start. If these were two real people, I would think all they had in common was sex in the beginning and when it got old, there was nothing left. The first time my man says I don't think I love you anymore, I'd send him on his merry little way. I don't try to make it work when it just doesn't. Couples all have bad days, but this guy just sounded a bit on the manic side. It's like today, "I love you," and tomorrow, "I hate you." It's just weird. A total waste of time for both of them. They should have called it quits after their first sexual interlude and saved themselves the trouble. lol

[Legion]

Um...have you ever read the script for a stage play? This needs a work. Much work. You need direction (both stage and a storyline to where this is going). Yes, we know that they are falling apart by the end and finally seperate, but more details as to how it comes about. From the beginning it feels as if they are nothing more than mannequins in a dress rehearsel waiting for more direction. Not to sound harsh, especially if this is something you really want to pursue, you've got some work cut out for you. Study all you can about writing stage plays and practice, practice, practice.