And It All Meant.......

Thomas: Now hold on there, sweetheart! I have listened to you mock everything I like. Now it’s my turn. So, do something you’ve never done before, listen a minute, or several. I’m not going to listen to you any more so just shut up. I am well aware that you can speak and complain like no one else I have never known. But for the minute I am going to pretend you have as much significance as that chair next to you. Good. Now keep quiet and listen. You’re a rotten, despicable, awful person. I am finished with you now. Bye. (Begins walking out) (Turns back) No, you know what? I have a little more to say. I’m not quite through with you yet. This entire marriage has been pathetic. A perfect sham. I can’t believe I was ever dumb enough to say “I Do”. No I take that back, I have been known for my stupidity and poor taste as far back as I care to remember. I am tired of everything that goes on between us. The lies, the lies, the lies. One after the other. Nothing ever changes. This loveless marriage we have. We come, we go. No true, worthwhile communication ever takes place. I know you claim I am incapable of an intelligent conversation, but maybe it’s because I just don’t agree with you on every little thing, and you loathe argument or intelligent debate. I don’t mind not having money or friends, but I would like to be loved just once by a woman I married. Is that so much to ask? If I am becoming too cliche for you, I apologize. It’s possible I am. I am constantly being accused of rambling on and on about nothing, maybe that’s why I don’t talk with all your friends you’re always inviting over, and expecting me to give two hoots about one way or the other. I don’t. Sorry, dear, but I don’t. It’s a neverending nightmare. Forget all of this. (Begins walking out)

Sharon: No! Don’t you even try to walk out on this now! You’re nothing but a lousy windbag, who can do nothing but talk in circles. You talk endlessly without ever really saying one single thing. How pathetic are you? Are you that devoid of any human feeling or impulse? You’re always trying to pass yourself off as an idealist, as a mysterious stranger, an interesting introvert, or something along those lines. You’re nothing but a joke! I know you. I’m one of the few. There is nothing interesting or brilliant about you. I recall you once told me, when we first met, before we began college, that you wanted to be sexy and brilliant. Well, my dear, on both counts you have failed miserably. You are so pathetic. I can’t believe I’m even wasting my time talking to you about this. You’re not worth it. I should have walked out long ago. When I first realized you would never amount to anything.

Thomas: Never amount to anything, huh? Where have I heard that before? Oh right. Everywhere I’ve ever been. People have so subtly told me that I am nothing but a no-ggod failure who has no future. I used to care. I used to care so much about what people thought about me.

Sharon: You still do. If you didn’t you wouldn’t recede into the background so much, and try to be deep when you’re nothing but an introverted jerk and doofus.

Thomas: Really? Maybe. Maybe I am. Maybe my entire life has been one constant joke. Perhaps. I do believe that almost anything is possible. Of course I’ve never known much of anything one way or the other. Which accounts for the reason..... Why are we talking at all? This has all been so phony, such a waste of our time. We’ve never cared much for each other.

and yet here we are. Together. For I don’t know how long. For some reason I can’t honestly leave you, and I know you can’t leave me.Sharon: That’s true. For once, you’re right. I could have done so much better than you,

Thomas: You may be right. It doesn’t make any sense at all. But without you in my life..... what am I saying? We both have to get ouf of this. This entire conversation is turning into a bad soap opera or Lifetime movie of the week. I don’t even know what either one of us are talking about anymore. We’ve both been lost for so...

Sharon: You’re right. This just has to end. It has to end quick. We’re just, we’re just, we’re nothing but people who never bothered to grow up, or attempt to understand anything that is going on around us.

Thomas: Maybe that’s it. Or maybe we’re just a couple of idiots who deserve each other. But I believe even idiots are entitled to a life without misery.

Sharon: You may be wrong though. You have quite the track record of that.

Thomas: Yeah. Yeah. But no. We can’t do this. Can we? No. No. We can’t.

Sharon: It’s no surprise you’re an agnostic. You just can’t make a decision.

Thomas: No it just means I have the most logical idea. What am I saying now? No. That was totally irrelevant.

Sharon: Well... what are we going to do?

Thomas: We hate each other. We can’t live together and be happy. We’re both total failures in our personal and professional lives. No one else would have us. We can’t possibly live together and have any happiness, only eternal misery. Yet I still don’t know what to do.

Sharon: Well we could both kill ourselves.

Thomas: Or just one of us. Or one of us could kill the other. But, no, that wouldn’t solve anything. I’m still incredibly afraid of burning in Hell although I am completely uncertain of whether or not it exists.

Sharon: Well I could give you other ideas, but is that too wise of an idea?

Thomas: I don’t understand anything. I never have. Why is that?

Sharon: This is not the time. In fact, there never is a time for any of your pseduodeep questions. We all know you were born as some cruel joke. That’s all we know for certain. And I’m, well, I’m just a nasty woman. Of course you’re a wormy, insignificant, insufferable, whiny little.... well, now were just using semantics again. I’m going to leave and live somewhere else. You’ll live here, alone for the rest of your life, because no woman will ever be deranged enough to spend a solitary moment with you. Plus you’ll never leave this house again.

Thomas: Yes. You’re right.

Sharon: Ok. This is over. Great. I’m going to go pack. It was nice knowing you.

Thomas You too.

Sharon: (Leaves room)

Thomas: What did any of that just mean?