I Don't Know Why

Kevin: So I am considering moving somewhere else.

Stan: Well obviously if you’re moving you wouldn’t be staying here.

Kevin: Yes. Exactly. I don’t think we should live together anymore.

Stan; So, you’re moving somewhere else. That’s cool I suppose. I don’t much care for your smell anymore.

Kevin: Is there something the matter with my smell?

Stan: I guess not. I’m just being obnoxious.

Kevin: How come? I don’t hate you.

Stan: I don’t know. I’m just this way I am. I doubt there are any explanations for why anyone is the way they are. Let’s not worry about.

Kevin: I’m sure as Hell going to worry about it.

Stan: I’m exhausted already.

Kevin: Running away from a conflict again, huh?

Stan: Sure I like to run rather than walk from problems. It makes them end quicker.

Kevin: This is why no relationship will ever last for you.

Stan: Oh, I don’t know. This one lasted a while. I’m okay with how it tuned out except for your leaving part. That’s a little unfortunate.

Kevin: Do you care about anything?

Stan: Sure, AM radio is pretty sweet. Keeps me alive at least.

Kevin: I doubt you have ever felt alive in your life.

Stan: I doubt it. I was born dead pretty much. Must be. It’s possible anyway. I’m fine though. I always end up being okay. There’s something about me that never keeps me completely disconnected. I don’t know what it is and that’s okay for the most part.

Kevin: You never want to seriously talk about anything. This is why you’ll always find yourself alone.

Stan: Can we please talk about something else or not talk at all. This sure isn’t doing anything but making things uncomfortable, awkward and no fun at all.

Kevin: Well it’s not always about entertaining you and keeping you happy, is it?

Stan: So you think I’m selfish and vain. What else is new?

Kevin: You’re so damn pessimistic.

Stan: By referring to another person as pessimistic you’re basically showing your own pessimisim.

Kevin: No I’m just starting  a fact.

Stan: Maybe when I’m being pessimistic I’m just statiung the truth. I’m a realist, okay? And that’s okay.

Kevin: You’re so infuriating. Why can’t you ever say you have problems? You’re passive aggressive, uncaring, antisocial, apathetic, angry, co-dependent, and selfish, and the list goes on and on.

Stan: Because I choose to respectfully disagree.

Kevin: How could I have ever loved you?

Stan: Temporary insanity, perhaps.

Kevin: You’re such a nice, funny, talented, smart, capable person. Why do you always allow your flaws to take over thereby leaving you with no friends, as you sip wine on nights, knowing you’ll be receiving no phone calls or dinner dates.

Stan: I must just be a loner or a misanthrope or I was predestined to prefer the company of myself. Who knows. Who cares. I know I’m difficult so I try to stay out of the way of others and not make them unhappy because everyone always tells me how unhappy and depressed I make them. Believe it or not I want all people to be happy. I do I just don’t do a good job of making it clear to them.

Kevin: Then try to change. Go to a counselor, put yourself out there, make friends, be more talkative, more outgoing. Be the amazing person I know you really are. We can’t be together anymore but I don’t want you to be unhappy anymore. I only want you to be happy and to be with people that really care.

Stan: Care, huh? Hmm I don’t know, mate. Care. Can I care? Can anyone care for me? I’m not completely sure. As you have said I’m pessimistic and rude and blunt and I don’t care for anything and I hide behind my sarcasm and my silence. My self-defenses. I’m not sure if I could be any other way than the way I am. I could try, sure, but if I try and fail, what, pray tell, was the point? You’re right… I should be kinder and gentler and more understanding and open to others… but I have tried such things and become more empty than I was before. This is as much as I have opened up in a long time, and frankly I don’t wish to go any further.

Kevin: Why must you be this way? Change, please. At least try. Even if you fail, at least you tried and…

Stan: I am sick of trying and failing and feeling like such a piece of s**t, okay! I am so damn sick of it. I am sick of never being good enough, nice enough, funny enough, talented enough, blah blah blah. You call me pessimistic, you call me uncaring, sarcastic, apathetic blah blah blah, but what do you know about me, huh? Do you think I like being this way? Do you think I like myself? The nothing I have become? I hate it, okay! I hate it. And I would love to be different and I have tried time and time and time again and somehow I become more and more frightened of being rejected and told I’m just not what they’re looking for in whatever they’re looking for, and I hate it, okay? Yeah I have tons of problems, but I’m sick of always having to say I’m the one at fault every f*****g time. It’s not always me. It can’t always be my fault. I’ll own up to the fact that I have fucked up and haven’;t always treated you the way you deserve to be treated… oif course and this relationship isn’t going to work, but don’t you dare say it was all about me. It was you too. You’re forgetful, you don’t always listen, you don’t always remember special dates and such. Yes I’m imperfect and so are you, and I am damn sick of always being the one that is told that I’m wrong, that it’s all my fault that the realtionship is ending. This happens every time… but it takes two in a relationshiop, and io know for a fact in every relationshipo I have treated the other very well even if I have made many, many mistakes. So I’ll atone for my mistakes but don’t expect me to apologize anymore, or to care all that much for I am exhausted from taking all the blame and feeling eternally guilty and depressed about it. I’m sorry if this makes me slime to you, if it makes me even more selfish but I don’t care. I simply don’t care. Anytime you want to leave, just leave. I don’t have anything else to say to you.

(Exits.)

Kevin: Oh, Stan. Stan. I’m going to miss you so much, and I don’t know why.

(End.)