Nothing Too Serious

Roger: Hey there.

Marie: Hi.
Roger: I know you don’t want anything to do with me, I can’t really blame you for that, but I am here to be as calm and reasonable, and I don’t even plan to tell you how much I love and adore, and worship the ground you walk on. I know how often I come across that way. I have never known how to act and react where relationships are concerned.
Marie: Listen, Roger, we can have this out, you can talk, I can talk but all we will be doing is talking and maneuvering and hoping that together we come to some sort of understanding, a little closure. I don’t know if that can be done or not. I don’t think you’re an awful person, I know you think I feel that way or that I think you’re a stalker-like creep, but I really don’t, you’re flawed, troubled, depressed, lonely, but I can’t help you with those problems because I don’t feel the way about you as you feel about me. We’re just not meant to be with each other.
Roger: I see where you’re coming from, but… well let’s take this back a little bit. I’m not exactly sure what I want to say, but I do know I want to let you know as well as I can that I really did like you, I didn’t just like you because no one else wanted to spend any time with me, I genuinely liked you, and wanted to spend time with you although I knew you may possibly be annoyed or turned off by me for any number of reasons. As I come to think of it this is the first time we’ve had a considerably long face-to-face conversation. I know I was always messaging or emailing you, but I didn’t know what to say to you in person although I was fairly certain I liked you.
Marie: Maybe you did, maybe you didn’t. I can’t say either one of us will ever be able to say for certain. I’m not saying there isn’t certainty in the world, but the two of us are very reticent, quiet, strange types who..
Roger: I am strange, but you seem to be as normal as they come. I always wonder what I do wrong. I can’t type this up for any site or for thousands to see, I want this to be between only you and me, and no one else. I feel we are the only ones who have anything of importance to say in this matter. Now, I know you never liked me, sure you gave me a nickname and gave me a smile and a hug from time to time, but I suppose I couldn’t say that you really wanted to be anything other than casual acquaintances in the hallway or backstage. I wasn’t as outgoing or charming or likeable as the others, I know that. I have never been a great talker or wit, I sit on the sidelines and hope for people I like to approach me and I always dream of having these wonderful, dream-like conversations with them, and you were most definitely one of them.
Marie: Roger, what do you want me to say? We went through something, a time so awkward and unorthodox, and I don’t even know what else, that I don’t feel we can ever be anything other than acquaintances. I have noticed how few friends you have and I guess it’s because no one seems to take to your shyness and strangeness, but I still don’t believe you’re an awful guy, but I’m afraid we can never spend any time together because it just wouldn’t work or go anywhere.
Roger: I understand why we can never date, yes. Sure. Certainly. But I don’t see why we can’t at least be friends. Hang out from time to time, have coffee or whatever, go to a movie or soemthnig but it wouldn’t be a date.
Marie: But it would feel like one. You don’t understand these things, Roger, and I hate to talk down to you now but sometimes it has to be done when one is simply not grasping simple social norms.
Roger: Forget it. Don’t go any farther. I get the picture, I just don’t fit in. Nothing has changed. I will never fit in, and don’t sit there and try to reassure me that I will, which you won’t do anyway because at this point you have grown weary of my self-pity and my unwillingness to change anythjnig that is keeping me back from having real, worthwhile friendships and relationships. I don’t expect you to know what I’m talking about either. I wouldn’t expect you to. Just as you don’t expect me to know the first thing about anything healthy or meaningful, but you cannot pretend to know what it’s like not to be close to anyone, although you want to be but you don’t know how to change even after everyone has told you how to change, what to do, given you plenty, tons of advice, but you don’t get it. It goes over your head until you are cvompletely sick of life and living, but you’re so terrified of dying because maybe it gets worse. So, you stay in the world where no one likes you or loves you, they are merely nice to you or they tolerate your obnoxious presence, but if you were to die at the end of the day, they’d all sleep very easy, but then you remember back to the days where you wanted to feel bad about others dyinmg but no you just continued going on with your regular routine, and you begin to realize that maybe karma is getting you, and because of all your selfishiness and inhumanity throughout your life you are simply reaping what you sow, until you have nothing left but several cold comforts at the end of the day. Well, I wasn’t killed or injured today, yeah but no one wants to be around you for any long amount of time, unless there’;s a huge grouop then they’ll tolerate your superfluous existence. Or you say well I made those people laugh, sure but it was only because you were being nariccistic and negative ansd they’re only laughing at how dead you are inside even if they’re not aware of it. But, who cares, right? If no one cares about you or loves you or reaklkly wants to be around you, who cares if you’re lonely and empty at the end of any day? But that’s just me, it’s just me. I have done nothing but care about myself for my entire life until I no longer wish to live or die or do anything at all. I still don’t expect you know what I’m talking about. How many times have I tried to explain this to any number of people until they have grown totally sick of me. And others wonder why I don’t open up more, these are the reasons, all I can do is moan and groan, and say how much everything pains, torments, and depresses me. No wonder no one ever wants to be around me, although we all know how much misery loves company, it’s not to be. None of this matters though, it has no….. I just want to spend a day with you where we talk about things that are important to us, or discover what is important to us. Listen, I know I have failed every person I have ever gotten close to in my life, and I’m not promising you I won’t mess up from time to time, but I really want to give it a shot with you for a while, or for a little while, just the day. Give me a chance, please. One more chance, if that fails, fine, I’ll go off by myself and I’ll end this life because I’m sick of taking up space and bringing and giving nothing to others.
Marie: I don’t know, Roger.
Roger: I don’t deserve this,I don’t deserve to be with someone as nice as you, maybe people like me deserve to be in the fog of uncertainty, but I really want a little from you. I don’t want sex or kisses, but I would like hugs and reassurances and care and love and compassion. I know I’ll be perpetually five years old, but give me this one day, please. Will you do that for me?
Marie: Roger, life doesn’t work this way. You have to accept that you and I will never talk again after what we’re doing right here, and there’s really nothing for us to talk about or resolve. You were lonely, you thought you liked me, and that didn’t work out too well for you because I found it to be too strange and unexpected. I’m sorry you and I cannot work, I can’t say why but I know we won’t.
Roger: I can’t say I’m surprised. I’ll leave you, Marie. I wish you all the happiness in your future. I am sure you will be very happy, and many people will come to care about you very deeply, and you deserve that. Good-bye, Marie. It was nice meaning nothing to you.
Marie: Whatever.
(Curtain.)