Where Did Everyone Go?

Kevin: Hi, Diane.
Diane: Really? You're here. Get out.
Kevin: Nope. I'm staying. We're going to have this out.
Diane: Come in here, Martha.
Kevin: My Mother's here?
Diane: Yes.
Martha: Oh, hello, you louse! Why did you cheat on her?
Kevin: She was boring me.
Martha: And now you want her back?
Kevin: Sure, why not? As soon as I cheated on her I realized how much I loved and needed her. It's all cool now.
Martha: I am going to kick your a*s if you say that stuff in here again. She's not going to back with you any time soon. Never, in fact. Never ever. Bye-bye. Oh, and you and I have nothing anymore.
Kevin: Oh, ok. I'm out of here then.
Diane: No, come back.
Martha: Oh, don't be weak, Diane. Eve was weak and we see what that did. It gave us more a******s like Kevin here.
Diane: He only cheated once, and only for four months.
Martha: Oh, my God. Maybe you two deserve each other. I'm out of here. (Exits)
Diane:So, we're in love again.
Kevin: Yeah, why not?
Diane: (Kisses him) So, what should we do.
Kevin: I have to go to Kayla's first. Wanna come along?
Diane: What do you have to do?
Kevin: That's my business.
Diane: We're not supposed to have secrets.
Kevin: I choose to have secrets.
Diane: Then we're broken up.
Kevin. Fine. Whatver. I was just tryintg to be nice, God knows no one else will ever date you. I'll be going to Kayla's now.
Dioane: No, let's, please I'm sorry for being stupid.
Kevin: It's ok. I'm used to it. Tell you what, you clean this sty up, fix me some dinner, and after Kayla and I are done making out and everything else, I'll come back here and you can watch me eat.
Diane: Wonderful!
Kevin: See you later. (Exits).
Brinanna: Are you and Kevin back together? I just saw him out in the hall.
Diane: Yes.
Brianna: So, you're his slave again?
Diane: No, we're in love again, silly.
Brianna: Ok, Diane, you really are stupid, but I'm ok with you getting hurt again at this point you deserve it.
Diana: What should I make him?
Brianna: Poison, maybe.
Diane:I think I have some.
Brianna: Great.
Diane: Here it is.
Brianna: Oh, boy.
Diane: Wait a minute. Isn't poison poisonous or something.
Brianna: I doubt it.
Diane: Well, ok.
Brianna: Are we watching TV tonight?
Diane: Is there something to watch?
Brianna:No, but it's that or study or read or somethging meaningless like that.
Diane: Nah. I'll just spend the night with Kev.
Brianna:So, you'll be free by 8.
Diane: I don't get it.
Brianna: You never will. I'll be back later. (Exits)
Diane: This poison is going to be so good. Wait! Poison.... hmmm.... wait, yeah, it is poisonus! Thius could give us diarrhea or maybe even AIDS! What is she trying to do to us? Kev and I are good people, as far as I can remmeber. Why... I'll get her for this.
Charlie: Hi, Di.
Diane: Hi, Dad.
Charlie: I'm done with this conversation. You're boring me. (Exits).
Diane: He's so much nicer lately.
Gaylene: Diane! Have you showered yet?
Diane: I shower every other week, Mom.
Gaylene: That's right. Did Jay come back for you today.
Diane: His name is Kevin, silly.
Gaylene: Are you sure?
Diane: Sure.
Gaylene: Ok. Is that going well?
Diane: We're in love.
Gaylene: I've never been in love. What's it like?
Diane: Have you ever been happy?
Gaylene: Have you met your Father?
Diane: Huh?
Gaylene: No, I have never been in love.
Diane: Why didn't you just say so. God, you're a dumbo sometimes, Mother. I need to go to the store for a minute. I'll be right back.
Gaylene: Very well. When is your sister, Dana, coming home?
Diane: Her name is Jessi, silly.
Gaylene: I think I know my own daughter's name, Deena.
Diane: Who are you talikng to?
Gaylene: You!
Diane: Oh, I get it.
Gaylene: Ok. This was fun. Bye, Diana. You won't be seeing me again. (Exits.)
Charlie: I'm back, Diana. I just called my horoscope guy, he told me I had to leave my family today. Well, this is goodbye. (Exits).
Diane: I wonder who that was.
Gabriel: Hey, Mom's dead.
Diane: Really? What happened?
Gabriel: I don't know but we won't be seeing her again. And you won't be seeing me again either.
Diane: Ok. Bye.
Gabriel: Bye. (Jumps out window.)
Brianna: Hey. I have something to tell you. Kevin ran off to elope with Kayla.
Diane: No, he didn't.
Brianna: Here's hs note. (Hands it to her.)
Diane: You're lying. (Hands her a drink). Drink this.
Brianna: Ok. It's great. What is it?
Diane: Poison.
Brianna: You're killing me?
Diane: Yes.
Brianna: Well, there goes everyone for you then. Everyone you were ever close to is gone now. Have fun. (Falls over.)
Diane: I wonder where everyone went.
(End.)