Walking Away

Declan: Susie, my love.
Susan: Never call me Susie. You know that.
Declan: I was in the neighborhood and I wanted to talk to you about getting married again.
Susan: Let me think about it. No.
Declan: Come on. We could make another go at it. It’s been three weeks since the divorce was finalized. I think we have both served our time.
Susan: I am perfectly happy. In fact I have a date tonight.
Declan: With a woman, right? Any woman who would reject me would have to be a lesbian.
Susan: No. In fact I’m dating an old friend of yours. A former friend now. A certain Mr. Peter Pissant.
Declan: Good old Peter Pissant. Well, you’re a desperate, lonely woman so you chose the right guy.
Susan: I think he’s a gentleman.
Declan: Well you never were much of a brain. I bought a new house today and I would love to see you there tonight, preferably looking like a prostitute.
Susan: Now you enjoy sex again?
Declan: If it means we’ll be back together, why not?
Susan: Declan, we hate each other. You hate the way I eat and walk. You even complained about how I did the dishes. Once I even remember you remarking about my fat a*s when you thought I wasn’t in the room.
Declan: Well I have turned over a new leaf. I am now all about brutal honesty. Susie, you have the fattest a*s I have ever seen, and it turns me on.
Susan: You’re not getting anything, are you?
Declan: What does that have to do with what I’m talking about? Susie, you’re a b***h and I’m a b*****d. We belong together. Now I know you think I’m being really desperate here. I’m not. No, no, no. I just want to depend on you for the rest of my life.
Susan: You’re so gallant.
Declan: (Slaps her a*s.) I love doing that. You know that and you like it. I saw that huge smile show up on your face. I’m a sleazebag, yes, yes, yes. I don’t respect people’s feelings but damn am I a charmer when you’re a lonely, desperate woman even if you hate me, you love me. So, Susan, walk that fat a*s of yours over here, and let’s go do some raunchy, disgusting things.
Susan: You really are the lowest of the low.
Declan: I have met lower, and actually this is as clean as I have been in years.
Susan: Peter and I are going to f**k like animals tonight.
Declan: And why would that make me jealous?
Susan: The sex wouldn’t. I know you still loathe it, it’s too time-consuming and you just can’t make it in time. It’s fine. Usually when one can’t do something well, they come to loathe it. But what will bother you is the fact that I’m going to be showering attention upon on another man rather than you. He’s going to be what I feel I care about for a while, even if for only a few moments.
Declan: Oh, Susie, you try so hard to be malicious and cruel, that it does nothing to me but make me feel a little hornier than I am. I could f**k you all over the earth if you wanted me to. Hell, I’ll f**k the s**t out of you right here, but let’s face it you’re not up for it right now. You never were. That’s why I came to loathe sex as much as I do. You were never in the mood. Well, b***h, when I want it you better get in the damn mood. But you didn’t. You didn’t care about my needs, yes, they were needs, not wants, a man as virile as me must have sex up to 7 times a night to feel any sort of validation in his life. But that’s just me. I am a most rare breed.
Susan: Get out of here.
Declan: I entrance you, don’t I? I make you want to be a better girl. You need to be a good girl, Susie, or I’ll spank you. Don’t think that I won’t.
Susan: Please, leave.
Declan: Don’t you raise your voice to me, little girl, or I will paddle you.
Susan: Get the hell out of here!
Declan: That was the wrong thing to say, Susie woozie. (grabs her forcefully, takes her over his knee and spanks her mercilessly.)
Declan: I hope I will receive a little better treatment from you in the future.
Susan: (Crying). How dare you
Declan: How dare I what? Keep you under control? Make you act like a good girl? It’s something your Father should have done a little more of while he was alive. Of course I remember how worthless that man was for his entire life.
Susan: Don’t say that.
Declan: Do we have to have a round two, my dear?
Susan: What do you want from me? You don’t love me. You only love yourself. No, I don’t even think you love yourself. Why do you do these things? I don’t get it.
Declan: You don’t get much, do you? I do what I do because I am who I am, and I am who I am with no excuses or regrets. I don’t feel bad about hurting others because they either deserve it or I feel it’s their destiny to be damaged time and time again. I spanked you most hard, didn’t I? But you were being a naughty little b***h and that’s what I believe naughty little b*****s deserve. And you won’t tell anyone about this so I’m not worried about landing in jail or being fined at all. You’re too much of a proud little girl to let anyone know that you could be hurt. I hurt you a lot during our marriage I’m sure. Of course, this is the first time I have ever physically assaulted you, and I must say I wouldn’t mind doing it again. In fact, here we go. (Punches her. She lands on the floor.) That felt even better. Don’t stifle your tears, little girl. I love to hear others cry, it makes me feel so good that I can make them feel me in some way. I came from a good family. You never liked them because they weren’t as well-read and articulate as your family of pompous asses but they were nice, worthwhile people to be around. They didn’t care if they knew everything, they did their jobs, they treated people well and they didn’t whine if people didn’t like them or give them their due. Just do what you need to do, and what you feel and from there everything will take care of itself. It’s a beautiful philosophy. None of us ever worried about being the best, we just enjoyed ourselves. We treated people well and we did everything in our power to make ourselves and others happy. Eventually I became isolated from my family due to you and your prudish, superior ways. I haven’t talked to them in years. They’d love to talk to me, and tell them how they love me but there’s no point in that now. We’ve drifted far too much apart to ever have a true reconciliation with each other. I love my family. I love you. But you don’t understand love so this will never mean anything to you. It’s ok though, I’ll be here after you wake up from the wake-up call I just gave you. Yes, Susie, you’re not the best or the brightest in this world. An insignificant a*s like myself can always take you down to size.
Peter: Hello, Declan.
Declan: Peter.
Peter: What happened here?
Declan: Susie was acting up.
Peter: Oh.
Declan: Susie told me you two were going to do things I’d rather you two not do together tonight.
Peter: Well, maybe, we had discussed the possibility.
Declan: Peter, why is it that I hate everyone? Do I or am I imagining things? Even you, as you stand here looking like a mental deficient I have this urge to slash your throat, I suppose I should feel bad about this, but I don’t . Most people would say I’m wrong for wanting to murder someone, but don’t we all want to murder people at one time or another? Hmm?
Peter: Well, I think…
Declan: Oh, I hate you, Peter.
Peter: I hardly think…
Declan: Listen, Peter, I’m not going to kill you. I’m not going to harm you. You bore me. Susie bores me but I want her. I need her but I shouldn’t want or need her, but I do. I may or may not be an animal. I may or may not be deranged. But I am calm but I am perfectly aware of how I am hurting her, scaring her, and you…. How are you feeling? Do you know? Can you tell? Do you have any idea? Where are you, Peter? Peter, I’m bored. Susie’s out. She’ll be out. She might be dead. But I doubt it. No, she isn’t. Susie! Susie! Get up, Susie! She’s not getting up. I don’t think you and she will be f*****g tonight, Peter. Not a chance in Hell. Will she come back with me? No. Not at all. What will I do? Will I find another, will I kill myself, will I live alone and mourn the one that got away. Do I love anyone? What was I thinking all these years? I suppose I’m thinking and feeling too much when I should just be existing and being. I’m strange. I might be evil or maybe I’m one of the few sane ones left.
Peter: I should call the police, but I won’t. This is between you and her.
Declan: Peter! I need to say something to you. (Forcefully grabs him. Ties him to a chair.) Very well. Two prisoners. I have control. I have power. I am feeling good. I am feeling like a god. How real is this power though. (Picks Susie up). Susie, my dear… (Kisses her. Rips her top off. She is down to her bra.) Enough of that. (Throws her to the ground.). Very well. Do you have anything to say, Peter?
Peter: I don’t think…. I think…. The law dictates…. Your conscience must….. What….. Hey…. I mean…… I don’t know. Nothing to say. Nothing to do.
Declan: And now we have entered the theatre of the absurd. Nothing to say. Nothing to be done. Nowehere to go. Your savior, your god, your rescuer, your confidant, your friends…. No one will ever come. No angels, no trumpets, no beauty, no romance, no love. I am a prophet of doom and gloom. I hate you. I hate her. I hate myself. I am a man of hate and destruction. If I am deprived of what I want, no one else can have what they want. I have no conscience. I am depraved and I am one of the few sociopaths that know I am deprived. Susie! Get up! Come here! Come here! Very well. Remain on the floor. Like the trash you are. Peter, am I Satan? How did I become what I am today? Am I really all that evil? So many questions. Zero answers or explanations. There is no true reason as to why I enjoy torturing people. I am evil. I am no good. I am difficult. I will burn in Hell if there is one. When did I burn my conscience out. As you may recall I came from a good home, good parents, good schools, good everything. Never a difficult or sad day in my life. But when it concerned relationships I was dangerous, manipulative and disgusting. Depraved. I had no way of finding happiness or salvation. I am a user. I am a destroyer of beauty and anything that does not make me happy. This destruction will not satisfy me. I am insatiable. I will remain so for the rest of my life. Yes, I will. You say I’m sick but you know nothing of me. You cannot judge. You must not judge. You will not judge. But you can because I will not kill you. Susie! Maybe she is dead. Too bad I don’t have a doctor on call here. It’s very convenient no one else works here. Very nice. Very, very……… Hello, Dirk.
Dirk: You lost it.
Declan: I stopped repressing my thoughts, my emotions, my desires.
Dirk: Is she dead?
Declan: No. Never. I cannot permanently destroy what I need.
Dirk: Not love.
Declan: No I love nothing. Everything I do is for me.
Dirk: How very human. You are not a sympathetic case. You are not noble. You are not sad, lonely or pathetic. You are nothing but evil. And you will not kill because it’s not in the cards, Declan.
Declan: Are you a personification of my conscience?
Dirk: There is no symbolism here. You are lost. You are depraved. You are scum.
Peter: May I speak?
Dirk: No. Remain as quiet as God.
Peter: I believe in God, the Father almighty….
Dirk: Peter! Stop it! Stop. There is no God. Throw away your faith, please. I don’t want to preach but give it up. Look where you are. No one deserves this treatment unless they believe superstitions and dogma as much as you do.
Peter: Wait. I understand where you’re coming but, but let me expound as to why…. I’m thinking of how I should word this… I’m not completely sure…. Hold on a second.
Declan: Dirk, what?
Dirk: You will do what you want. Do it. I can no longer intervene for you.
Declan: Wait! I’m desperate. Time is running out. I don’t know what that just meant. So lost. So confused. If I kill her, she’ll be going to a better place but I don’t know that. I should leave.
Peter: Here is what I believe….
Declan: Peter! It doesn’t matter what any of us believe…. We’ll never know who’s right and who’s wrong and that’s fine, but why am I trorturing like this? I can’t say either one of you are particularly important to me. Why do I want to kill you anyway? I should not be content with being as depraved as this. But, why would I quit now. I cannot philosophize like this forever. Suicide? No. It happens all the time. Don’t I wish to be important? It doesn’t matter, as soon as I’m gone I won’t be here to enjoy all the acclaim. Maybe I will though. Somehow. I don’t care anymore. My God, I came here to get revenge on my ex-wife because I was a s****y husband, and I may have killed her. Susan! (Rushes to her) I’ll leave you now. I’ll never come back. You don’t…… I have no words. Speechless. Alone. But don’t pity me. You won’t anyway. I’ve….. I’ve……. No words. No words. Nothing. (Cradling her in his arms.) All these questions. Was I justifying everything.
Peter: How about me?
Declan: (Still cradling Susie.) Oh, I’ll untie you as soon as I’m finished with this thought.
Susie: (Awakes suddenly.) You son of a b***h! (Pushes him off her.) How dare you! How dare you! I am nothing to you. I am nothing. Not anything. I don’t matter to you anymore. I am an object. I am a squeeze. Nothing more. Nothing. And now the limitless amount of importance language has begins to come into play. No a[pologies. No excuses. You wanted to kill me. Maybe you still do. Maybe you don’t. But get out! I won’t call the police, I won’t press charges I won’t tell anyone, but get out! Get out! Untie Peter right now and tell the little prick to never come back. (Declan unties him.)
Peter: I just want to say….
Susie and Declan: Get the f**k out!!!!!!!
Susie: So tough, huh? Beating the s**t out a little woman and a pathetic man because you’ve amounted to nothing. Well we’re all nothing, we’re all….. Just leave no talking, no explanations, no philosophy, no more abuse, no nothing, nothing at all. Nothing. Nothing. I want an end to all this repetition, this senselessness… burned consciences…. Nihilistic ideals….. Just why are you still here? Still lying on the ground, although you say you’ll go and leave me all alone forever I know you’re hoping I realize how guiolty you feel and how you’ll never have thoughts of killing me again, but we’re ivorced anyway! We divorced because you’re crazy I couldn’t prove that till today, however. But now I know. I have aways known but now I have certainty. Get out! Get out! Get out! I could die. I should die. What’s the point? Beckett much, huh? I could tell you some great stories, I could tell you things you’d never be able to understand, I could think and emote and justify all day too, but I won’t. This has nothing to do with anything. You’re crazy, end of story.
Declan: Listen, there is something…. There are…… I have lost my sense of speech… I have… Don’t kill me. I want to live. I don’t know why, but I must. I must. Let me. Don’t….. I’m….. Please…. Uhhh….. Where is it? What do I have…. Am I? Well, it’s…. it’s…… it’s….
Susie: Just get out. Get out. Stop. Futile. Futile. Futile. Please. Please. Please. Leave. Never return. Nothing more. Nevermore. Please. Nowhere to go and nowhere to stay. The terror…. Desensitized…. No one’s fault but your own, but who cares? Leave me alone, live your life, let me live mine, but let us remain separate forever. I can’t do this…. I never could… Never should have.]
Declan: Very well. (Exits.) (Scream heard offstage.)
Dirk: Finally got him. Knew I was still capable of killing, destroying…. Whatever.
Susie: F**k you.
(Curtain.)