Incomprehensibility

Everything? Are you absolutely sure it’s everything? Are you… How positive are you?... Wait, wiat, let’s slow things down here for a moment, ok? Is that ok? Good. Good. Now, when was the last time you saw anything of it, or anyone. I know, I know, I can’t see you right now, ok, yeah, I understanmd that. I can’t see or touch anything either. Nothing. I don’t get this. So I’m blind and without the sense of touch as well. What’sd werong here? And you’re the same, too, right? You’re not just playing a joke on me, huh? Of course I’m not playing a joke on you,. You jerk. What’s wrong with you? You need to gorw up. Yeah, ok, I get it, shut up will ya? Just shut your trap, but we can hear each other, but we can’t see or touch. How about taste, well we cvan hear, Idk if we can’t touch or see it’s kind of difficult to taste. Right? Of course, yeah, well I’d try to taste you, but I don’t know where you are. You could be thousands of miles away. Huh? Shut it, ok? Just… come on, don’t be like this. Tough, tough, that’s life. Jjust don’t come in here and expect me to care about what she’s doing with who right now, she messed up, I didn’t., Yeah, right, I’
M to blame, I was the screw up. I’m going to Hell. Kil;l me now. Kill me now. I’m rotten. I’m spoiled. I’m lousy. I’m stupid. It was always my fault, and she was the little angel I damaged beyond repair. No, I don’t buy that. I treated her very well, better than anyone else ever has, and yet I’m considered the bully. She’s been like every other girl, they don’t understasnd me and they make no effort to do so. They have more important things to do I guess. How do I know? They don’t gibve me enough of a chance to get to know them. No, I’m supposed to know them perfectly after we’ve met onde, or said two words to each other. I can’t screw up. I can’t say one mean or thoughtless thing or they’ll never talk to me again. It’s bull, right? Yeah, I like complaining, if that’s what you like to call it. I think of it more as bearing my soul, letting you know a little about me and how I feel from day to day. I don’t feel too well, I never will knowing my luck, I never move enough to feel any better than I do at the beginning of the day. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Let me talk, let me get my opinion across here. I may come off mean and unfeeling, but I have feelings. I’ve been there. I’ve cried. I’ve been hurt. I’ve contemplated suicide. I’ve been screwed over and rejected. Yeah, I have. Oh, I didn’t deseve them, huh? Theyt needed better or I’d mess them up. Let me tell you something, every girl I have ever liked was messed up before I liked them,. None of them were real winners because I have the worst taste in girls. That’s the reason. It’s simple. It’s elementary. It’s not hard, but you have to be thinking and you have to focus. I don’t do those things well too often but when I do I begin to make a little more sense, don’t I? Don’t kid right now. No, I’m not in the mood for it.
So, where are we, do you think? Are we anywhere? Do we exist anymore? Maybe we never did. I’d be ok with that. I’ve messed up everythin in my life. As have you right? No? Fair enough, fair enough. Maybe you’re happier because of how positive you are, of course you treaty me like crap. I’ve been going on as though I know who you are, I don’t. I wonder if anyone else can hear us. If they can, they probably just ignore us. Do you think so? It’s possible. It’s always possible. That’s my motto. Too bad I don’t have anything to say. Yeah, people always got on me because I didn’t say much or do much, but I’d think for hours and everything I wanted to say or do sounded too immature or stupid and I hung out with all the stupid and immature people, but there was something so alien and incomprehendsible about the things I said. Occassionally I even said things, and no one laughed, they just stared and said how boring, how immature, how stupid, how useless, how worthless, why does this guy even try, what is he thinking, and they thought other things too, because they are as incomprehensible to me as I am to them. Maybe I’m not incomprehensiblke to them. Maybe they just view me as sad and pathetic, and deservedly so. I used to dream of being a writer, writing interesting stories with actual plots and characters, then I realized no one would care about anything I had to say, so what was the point. Once I gave up on having anything to say, I gave up on everything in life.
I haven’t had a hobby or a friend or a passion in years, and look at how young I am. It’s no wonder I’m always likened to an old geezer I look and sound like one. I can’;t justify or excuse it anymore,. I’m just a mean, miserable misanthrope who will never know companionship or connectedness. Yeah, you’re right, I brought this incomprehensibility upon myself. It’s my own fault, and the more I talk to you, I wonder if anyone’s even there.