Four Searching the Universe

Julian: Myra! Myra! I'm home. Work is wonderful. No, that's a lie. But, in any case, get in here. I need to talk to you. Where are you? Oh, I get it. You're tired from sleeping in until 3. Wait.... are you still sleeping? Are you even here? I don't think you are. Huh. Ok. (Sits down and picks up phone. Dials number.) Hey, Marcus. Yeah. I'll be in at 6. Ok, 7. Fine. Wait, no. I can't be there at 7. I said 6 so I'll be there at 6, numbnuts! Yeah, I know, real juvenile of me. Deal with it. Bye! What? Oh, that's very good, very interesting. You know that means? You're fired! (Walks over to record player. Groucho Marx singing Luck Be a Lady). Ah, now that's horrid. I need some satsifaction. (Turns off record player) Byron! Byron! Are you here? No? Ok as soon as I find you I'm going to fire you.

Jess enters. She can be either gorgeous or hideous. No in between. On a side note, she's naked.

Jess: Hello, Julian.
Julian: Hi, Jess. Oh, you're naked. Very good. So, do you want to do it right now?
Jess: Nah. Get me some clothes to wear.
Julian: All right. What do you want?
Jess. I'm not sure. How about some riding clothes?
Julian: Like jodhpurs? Well, sweetheart, as cute as you'd be in those, no. I'm sorry. I'll get you some leather though.
Jess: You're so weird.
Julian: Aren’t we all? Just stay naked. I wouldn’t be able to find any of her clothes for you anyway.Do you know how old Myra is going to be?
Jess: 64.
Julian: Not quite, dummy. (They kiss) 27, I think. So, have you heard she and I are going to have our first child together? My fourth. I’m going to be 35 in three months. Have you bought my present yet?
Jess: You know I have. I need to wear something.
Julian: You will. Undress me and you can wear what I’m wearing. I’ll go naked.
Jess: (She undresses him) Ok. I remember the first time I wore a man’s suit.
Julian: You do not.
Jess: True. I don’t
Julian: Don’t be a smart-aleck with me, or you’ll get what Myra’s getting.
Jess: Big talk but you can’t deliver.
Julian: Don’t be too sure. I can do anything for any number of reasons. Ok. That’s good. You’re dressed. I’m naked. You look swell. I look... well, I’ve looked worse. Let’s go have some fun. Shall we dance?
Jess: I’d rather sleep.
Julian: Just as I thought. We’ll dance or I’ll fire you.I enjoy firing people. It makes me feel alive.
Jess: Or so I’ve heard.
Julian: Ok. What’s the plan?
Jess: We both know the plan

Myra enters.
Julian: Hey there! About time you got here. We’ve been waiting.
Myra: Why are you........?
Julian: Perfect? I don’t know about that. It has nothing to do with a creator though, right? Right. Sit down. You’re going to be 27, right?
Myra: Yes, sir.
Julian: Never call me sir again or I’ll divorce you so quick you won’t see me standing still. Now, 27, that’s getting up there. Three more years at the most. So, let’s stop playing around. Jess!
 
Jess shoots Myra. Myra dies instantly.

Jess shoots Julian. Julian dies.

Arnold enters.

Arnold: Oh good. You’ve already killed them. Good work. Let’s go.

Jess: Do you like the way I’m dressed?

Arnold: No. Move it or lose it.

(Curtain)